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It is on!
Fuse Makoto makes this THIRD Pure Gold Championship title defense against the oxymoronic Awoke.
Plus Shotcaller makes his return to Golden Pro Wrestling after the ASSASSINATION attempt at Gold Strike 16.
Elsewhere, Violence, Decade, Your Captains, Reject, Sicko and others pack the lineup!
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Golden Pro Wrestling theme song “The Sound” by Switchfoot begins to play…
THIS!
IS!
GOLDEN!
PRO!
WRESTLING!
The camera fades into the FedExForum where thousands of fans have already filled into their seats on the floor, the entire lower and second levels, and the ENTIRE upper level!
The camera pans the arena and fans, providing shots of the ring, ramp, intro stage and Gold Screen.
The broadcast transitions to a two-shot of Golden Pro Wrestling’s announcer team.
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Rudy Mac: Welcome BACK to Golden Pro Wrestling! I’m Rudy Mac, your Memphis rasslin’ expert, and sitting next to me is a man who thinks music is ‘just a bunch of sounds’, DeShawn Brannon!
DeShawn: Hey hey hey!
Rudy Mac: Well, DeShawn! We’re now into the meat of Season 4, and it feels like everything is all over the place!
DeShawn: Lay it on me, string bean!
Rudy Mac: First and foremost, Fuse Makoto is pushing through his second season as the undisputed Pure Gold Champion, and his next test is TONIGHT against Awoke!
DeShawn: And Awoke hasn’t been pulling any punches when it comes to Asians!
Rudy Mac: Indeed! He claims that Asians shouldn’t be counted as a minority! Meanwhile, some shady Japanese men have been lurking in the back hallways, and word on the street is that they may be responsible for the attempt on Shotcaller’s life at the end of Gold Strike 16!
DeShawn: Don’t cooperate, Shotcaller!
Rudy Mac: And Awoke isn’t just making waves as a major Pure Gold Championship contender, he’s been pushing his DEI agenda on the entire roster, and I think he’s caught the ire of Golden Ben Miller!
DeShawn: Our TRUE white savior!
Rudy Mac: Elsewhere Dr. Dean keeps his cards close to his chest when it comes to the current state of Abel Unstable, who he recaptured at the end of Season 3!
DeShawn: It feels like this story is going to be BANANAS yo!
Rudy Mac: Season 3 newcomer, Decade, continues to battle the demons in his head, and it led him to attacking Big Buddha at Gold Strike 17. Will Big Buddha continue to try and help him!?
DeShawn: Maybe with the help of some OG Kush!
Rudy Mac: And finally… FLIP COSTA is still GONE! The Draconian has taken him… somewhere!
DeShawn: Come in, Flip Costa! Come in! Give us some sort of confirmation that you and your beautiful looks are okay!
Rudy Mac: Okay, DeShawn, that was a quick rundown of what’s been going on, but I have an inkling it’s going to get a whole lot crazier, starting tonight on GOLD STRIKE 18!
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Gold Strike 18 quickly transitions to the back parking lot of the FedExForum where the infamous Greater Memphis Psychiatric Institute white van rolls up. It comes to a quick stop, and Orderlies Caruso and Summers both get out, followed by their boss, Dr. Dean.
The two large henchmen line up in front of Dr. Dean behind the van, and the insidious psychiatrist purses his lips in thought.
Dr. Dean: Alright, gentlemen, we are making progress through this fourth season of Golden Pro Wrestling, and I want to see a bit more out of you both.
The Orderlies look at each other with serious faces, and then again back at Dr. Dean.
Dr. Dean: I have assurance that you will have the opportunity for a tag team championship at Allegiance. Do NOT disappoint me!
The doctor stops and thinks to himself for a moment.
Dr. Dean: Now, I have been getting quite a pressure from the members of Golden Pro Wrestling to divulge details regarding our dear Abel. I demand that you both keep your eyes open for any inquisitive minds. The secrets of our plan for Abel must not be unearthed!
Orderly Caruso nods while Orderly Summers cracks his knuckles.
Dr. Dean: But first, our dear Sicko has an opportunity to defeat Reject and take the Hardcore Championship. Get Sicko out of the van at once!
The Psych Ward leader steps back and the Orderlies open the back of the van and pull Sicko out onto his feet. They make sure the straitjacket is still tightened before Dr. Dean beckons them forward and into the FedExForum.
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Gold Strike 18 moves back inside the main arena of the FedExForum, and “Helicopter Mack” by Archnemesis hits the speaker system and the crowd lets out a solid cheer. The duo of Ryan Rogue and Phaser walk out from backstage with serious faces.
Rudy Mac: Endgame, once the Golden Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions, have fallen on hard times without a win since Gold Strike 8!
DeShawn: Maybe they should end this game!
The formerly successful tag team makes their way down to the ring and Phaser takes position first. Their music fades out and is replaced by “Sittin’ Sideways” by Paul Wall, and another solid cheer comes from the fans.
Chavez and Blain come out onto the entrance stage and pause for a moment as if someone is talking through their earpieces.
Rudy Mac: It’s business time for GPW reporter Vicky Cogliano’s bouncers!
DeShawn: These guys DO mean business!
After getting to the ring, Chavez steps into the squared circle first and gets ready to take on Phaser. The bell rings to get the match underway, and immediately Phaser makes a running spear.
Rudy Mac: Boom! Endgame seems like they have some jump in their step tonight!
Phaser continues to take it to Chavez, and then whips him off the rope before delivering a spinning back kick. Chavez falls to the mat obviously dazed.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: You’re right, Rudy! Endgame is really showing some energy… for once!
Ryan Rogue looks pleased when Phaser tags him in, and then immediately pounces on the large bouncer. He picks Chavez up and drops him back with a sky-high suplex.
1… 2… NO!!!
After they get to their feet, Chavez reverses fortunes and stings Ryan Rogue with a swift uppercut. While Ryan Rogue checks his face for blood, Chavez tags in a very fresh Blain.
Rudy Mac: Here comes the Blain Train!
Blain charges forward and drops Ryan Rogue with a shoulder block, then runs off the ropes out to mid ring before he jumps to drop a leg.
CRASH!!!
DeShawn: Nobody home!
Indeed, Blain rolls around in agony after Ryan Rogue deftly avoided the large leg drop. Instead, Ryan Rogue picks up Blain and delivers a solid full-nelson DDT.
ROGUE DDT!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Whoa! What a quick victory for a charged-up Endgame!
DeShawn: Didn’t the match just start!?
Rudy Mac: This reminds me of the Endgame that tore through the tag team division in Season 1!
Ryan Rogue and Phaser meet mid-ring and give each other a confident high five while the crowd cheers for their rediscovered energy.
Winner:
Endgame via Rogue DDT
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After Endgame and Bounce Squad return backstage, the crowd produces a quiet buzz and awaits the next part of the show. They don’t wait long until “Chained to the Rhythm” by Katy Perry pumps into the airwaves.
BOO!!!
The San Francisco social justice warrior, Awoke, comes out from backstage with disapproving scowl.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: It’s no surprise that Awoke is getting such a hostile reaction!
DeShawn: Right!? This guy thinks he is what every minority has been waiting for!
Awoke goes down the ramp and into the ring where a production assistant quickly throws him a microphone. The music fades out and the boos finally subsides so that he can speak.
Awoke: Well, well, well. Here I am again… with a bunch of BIGOTS!
BOO!!!
Awoke: I’m in an unenlightened state called Tennessee, which ironically cannot SEE the racism, misogyny, and hatred in their hearts! Fortunately, I’m here! And I’m calling out the BIG BOSS to address this!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s fans buzz about while the blue-haired giant paces around the ring in annoyance.
DeShawn: I seriously don’t get what’s going on right now!
Rudy Mac: Apparently Awoke has something on his mind other than his PURE GOLD CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE SHOT later tonight against Fuse Makoto!
“E.I.” by Nelly suddenly beings to play.
Rudy Mac: He wanted him, now he’s got him!
The commissioner of Golden Pro Wrestling, Parker Meloche, strides out onto the entrance ramp with confidence. The crowd gives him a warm reception and the young Canadian businessman comes down to the ring himself before the production assistant gives him a microphone, as well.
DeShawn: Okay, I don’t know where this is going!
The crowd buzzes while the commissioner takes a moment to address the issue at hand.
Parker: Okay, Awoke, you got me. You’ve been given plenty of leash… minority-only water fountains… you have a title shot against Fuse Makoto tonight… What do you need NOW!?
After a moment, the SJW responds.
Awoke: Having a Pure Gold Championship title shot tonight is great and all… but there are more important things to sort out. And that includes the UTTER RACISM of Golden Pro Wrestling’s golden boy!
More buzzing from the crowd while they try to follow along.
Parker: What!?
Awoke: First, I want to make sure we have legal integrity behind these manners. My understanding is that Golden Pro Wrestling’s chief legal counsel is Malcom Marshall?
Parker: Well, yes, Mr. Marshall represents GPW’s legal affairs.
Awoke: Bring him out… OR I SUE!
Everyone within the FedExForum awaits patiently while Parker considers, and he finally responds.
Parker: Okay then, we at GPW have nothing to hide! Please bring out Counsel Marshall!
The crowd cheers in excitement and a few seconds tick by until Golden Pro Wrestling’s theme song “The Sound” by Switchfoot plays. Both Parker Meloche and Awoke stand patiently while the attorney Malcom Marshall comes out from backstage with his briefcase.
Rudy Mac: We’ve only ever heard of GPW’s lawyer!
DeShawn: But we’ve never seen him!
Malcom Marshall walks down the ramp and gets into the ring but isn’t given a microphone.
Parker: Okay, Awoke, our legal counsel is here. What do you want?!
The crowd jeers in its expected displeasure.
BOO!!!
Awoke: I want to play a recording for you, which was taken from backstage tonight!
The crowd, Commissioner Meloche and legal counsel Malcom Marshall all stand by silently. Over the speaker system, a chopped-up audio of Golden Ben Miller begins.
GBM: I… HATE… black… PEOPLE!
The San Francisco SJW immediately looks pleased with himself and folds his arms in self-satisfaction. The crowd responds unkindly.
BOO!!!
Parker: Whoa whoa whoa! That was OBVIOUSLY fake! I could hear the different decibels, background sounds, and… just EVERYTHING about that tell me it’s FAKE!
Awoke: Oh yeah? Why don’t you ask your legal counsel there if it’s unimpeachable!?
Golden Pro Wrestling’s leader, Parker Meloche, makes a worried face and looks over to his lawyer. After a moment, Malcom Marshall leans into Parker’s ear and whispers.
The crowd quiets down in anticipation of Parker’s response.
Suddenly, “My Hero” by Foo Fighters POUNDS through the speaker system.
Rudy Mac and DeShawn: THANK GOD!
The crowd goes to a whole new level of excitement as Golden Ben Miller comes out from backstage with a microphone. With a face of displeasure, he looks down at the ring until his music finally fades out, and then lifts the mic to his mouth.
GBM: Oh, what the FRESH HECK IS THIS!?
GPW’s fans laugh and agree before Awoke replies.
Awoke: Don’t think I know about your white, cis, male, SUPER PRIVELGE! I caught you on tape, and now it’s time for your CANCELLATION!
GBM: First of all, that’s not just a fabrication… it’s a SLOPPY one! We can ALL tell you just spliced together random words I’ve said! PLUS! One of my best friends, Corbin Fiscal is…
Awoke: BLACK!? Of course, you would use a “my best friend is black” line! God, I’m so sick of this! Mr. Marshall, does my accusation carry ANY weight!?
Everyone in the arena stands silent while the lawyer, Malcom Marshall, thinks thoughtfully. He then takes a moment and whispers into Parker Meloche’s ear. Parker’s eyes suddenly become bothered, and the Canadian businessman thinks for a moment before bringing the microphone back to his mouth.
Parker: Ben, I know you and everyone else will hate me for this… but Awoke’s accusation COULD spell a problem for Golden Pro Wrestling.
BOO!!!
The blue-haired social justice warrior smugly looks across the ring at Parker while waiting for what’s next.
Parker: Okay, Awoke, you have a title shot tonight. What ELSE do you want?
Awoke: What I want… is THIS!
San Francisco’s literally biggest SJW hands a piece of paper across to Parker, who in turn looks surprised at reading it.
Parker: Seriously, Awoke? You have the BIGGEST match of your life tonight, and you’re trying to organize THIS!?
Back at the top of the entrance stage, Golden Ben Miller becomes impatient.
GBM: Hey Parker, whatever it is, I know it’s got my name on it. Just spit it out!
A moment later, the young Canadian businessman obliges and reads Awoke’s demand verbatim.
Parker: In order for the lawsuit to be dropped, Golden Ben Miller must face an unknown mix of minority wrestlers to better understand and appreciate the complex diversity amongst the talented, yet underappreciated, GPW BIPOCs.
BOO!!!
Parker: I don’t totally understand what that means, Ben.
Golden Pro Wrestling’s most pretentious character laughs to himself.
Awoke: That means that at Gold Strike 19, Golden Ben Miller will learn the true meaning of DIVERSITY, EQUITY, AND INCLUSION! I will handpick 5 minority wrestlers, and if GBM can defeat them one-by-one, then I drop my lawsuit!
BOO!!!
At the top of the ramp, GBM paces with an annoyed look before responding.
GBM: Hey Parker, don’t worry buddy, I got this.
Golden Pro Wrestling’s commissioner looks relieved.
GBM: Awoke, you can sue me to kingdom come, I DON’T CARE! But here’s the deal… if I win, then I get YOU at Allegiance, and I’ll show you some diverse, equal, and inclusive ASS KICKING!
The GPW fans burst into a HUGE POP!
Inside the ring, Awoke looks over to Commissioner Meloche, lawyer Malcom Marshall, and then thinks to himself. After a moment, he reaches out and shakes their hands in agreement.
Rudy Mac: That’s it! GBM has to face down a gauntlet of minority wrestlers at Gold Strike 18, and if he wins, he gets Awoke at the Season 4 finale, Allegiance!
The crowd goes wildly abuzz at the turn of events while “My Hero” begins to play so Golden Ben Miller and the rest of the group and leave the ring.
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Gold Strike 18 transitions to a FedExForum concourse where a group of Golden Pro Wrestlers are signing autographs and talking to fans. The fans are clamoring toward Crosscheck Beck, who appears to be on the rise in Season 4.
Crosscheck Beck: One at a time, folks! Alright babe, step right up.
A beautiful woman with a Crosscheck Beck shirt walks up and slips a photo of Beck in front of him for an autograph. In the background, Jumpstart appears in street clothes.
BOO!!!
Jumpstart: Oh no, it looks like this nice woman must be mistaken.
The former professional hockey player watches as Jumpstart leans over and starts to autograph a picture of himself which he brought unsolicited. He scribbles his signature and offers it to the woman.
Crosscheck Beck: This ought to be good.
The woman looks at it and then looks back at Jumpstart.
Woman: Sorry, but I’m not into older men. Crosscheck Beck, is it alright if I get a selfie… and maybe your phone number?
Crosscheck Beck: Of course, babe!
Beck stands up and walks around the table while Jumpstart seethes.
Jumpstart: Oh, come on! I’m the SILVER Champion! Crosscheck Beck is just a future CTE study!
Crosscheck Beck: You know, Jumpstart, you’re the Canadian and I heard you can’t even skate! Looks like I can beat you at your own game, too!
Jumpstart: Well, you’re the guy… I mean, you’re the loser… ah!
After Beck leans in and lets the woman take the selfie, Jumpstart walks off in frustration. Crosscheck Beck takes the photo and adds his phone number below his signature.
Crosscheck Beck: Hit me up, babe. I’ll get us some hockey tickets to the next Bears game.
Woman: Thank you!
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The show moves back into the main arena of the FedExForum, and “Deadman” by Karnivool begins to ominously play through the speakers. Sicko, flanked by Dr. Dean and the Orderlies, walks out with a dark, determined face.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Hardcore action is upon us! Sicko has a shot to win the Hardcore Championship from Reject!
DeShawn: I can’t say I like either of these guys!
After making his way down the ramp, he pulls a chair out from underneath the ring and carries it with him up the steps and over the ropes. Sicko stands in the middle of the ring and simply stares back up to the entrance stage.
The music switches over to “Bloodwork” by 36 Crazyfists, and Reject emerges onto the entrance stage carrying a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: I think Reject may have a real fight on his hands here. He lost to Sicko once in Season 1, and then took a draw with a double count out against Sicko in Season 2!
DeShawn: I’d say his luck is the same as his looks! 1 out of 10!
Reject gets down to the ring and climbs in while throwing an angry stare at Sicko through his mask. The bell rings the Hardcore Championship match gets underway.
Everything starts off alright for Reject, as he quickly knocks the chair out of Sicko’s hands and begins to level a series of hard moves against the Psych Ward patient.
Rudy Mac: Epic sidewalk slam onto the chair by Reject!
1… 2… NO!!!
The masked incel yells out in frustration but continues his pummeling. Sicko finally turns the moment with a kick to the stomach and picks up Reject’s own baseball bat before delivering a smack to Reject’s back.
DeShawn: Batter up!
With Reject phased, Sicko grabs Reject and drops him with a kneebuster. Reject falls to the mat and Sicko climbs up to the top rope with jumps out.
Rudy Mac: This has got to hurt!
Sicko lands on Reject with the chair and the crowd cheers at the display of violence.
1… 2… … NO!!!
Despite the kickout, Sicko maintains no emotion and pulls Reject to his feet to continue the match. Reject spins away from a move by Sicko and picks up his bat, and Sicko grabs his chair once more.
Reject attempts an overhand slam with his bat, but it’s blocked by Sicko’s chair. Sicko quickly kicks Reject in the stomach and pulls him for a full-nelson facebuster.
Rudy Mac: Oh no!
THE LOOSE SCREW ONTO THE BARBED WIRE BAT!!!
DeShawn: Thank god for that mask he’s wearing!
1… 2… … NO!!!
The crowd gasps in surprise while Dr. Dean pulls out his hair at ringside. Sicko sits up with a dark stare and pulls Reject back to their feet. He attempts another attack, but Reject counters and quickly throws Sicko into a massive double knew gutbuster.
LEFT SWIPE!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Solid title defense by the wretched figure known as Reject!
Reject quickly grabs his Golden Pro Hardcore Championship belt and rolls out of the ring, and Dr. Dean and the Orderlies scoop up Sicko from mid-ring with looks of disappointment.
Winner and STILL Hardcore Champion:
Reject via Left Swipe
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After Reject finishes retaining the Hardcore Championship, the Gold Strike 18 quickly moves into the backstage garage of the FedExForum. Golden Pro Wrestling reporting Vicky Cogliano cracks the door leading out from the build and carefully peers around before fully stepping into the murky parking area.
Sensing no one is around, Vicky tiptoes across the parking lot to the Greater Memphis Psychiatric Ward van, which is still vacated since the Psych Ward was just inside attending Sicko’s match.
Vicky peers into the tinted windows and looks visibly frustrated that she cannot see anything of note. She shakes her head and looks down at the ground in thought.
A moment later, Vicky walks to the back door and jiggles the handle a couple of times before it ominously cracks open. Vicky takes another look around to see if anyone’s watching.
Feeling like the situation is secure, she climbs into the van and the camera loses sight of her.
Suddenly, the doors from the FedExForum into the parking garage burst open with an angry Dr. Dean, followed by the Orderlies pulling Sicko in his straitjacket.
Dr. Dean: You fool, Sicko! You hit the Twisted Screw ONCE! To win the championship, you must hit it twice, AT LEAST!
The Orderlies continue to escort Sicko, but when leader of the Psych Ward storms to the back of the van, Dr. Dean suddenly comes to a halt. He looks closely at the open back door with perplexity, and then looks at the Orderlies.
Dr. Dean: Apparently, Sicko isn’t the only FOOL! You forgot to close the door, you buffoons!
While Orderly Caruso and Orderly Summers look at each other, the far side driver’s door opens quietly. Vicky Cogliano can be seen crouching and sneaking away with an orange medicine vial in her hand.
Dr. Dean: Get Sicko in, and then let’s get out of here! I’ve had enough with all of you right now!
Vicky carefully hides on the other side of a concrete pillar, and while the Orderlies attempt to get Sicko into the van, they are met with an intense struggle from the mental health patient. Dr. Dean climbs into the passenger side while the Orderlies attempt to corral an abruptly tempest Sicko.
Orderly Caruso: Hold on, sir. Something’s going on with Sicko.
The leader of the Psych Ward takes a moment to step out of his van and look.
Dr. Dean: Hold on! This isn’t normal!
The Orderlies stand by, and Sicko stops struggling as mightily. Instead, Dr. Dean and the Orderlies watch Sicko’s face while he carefully sniffs and darts his eyes around.
Dr. Dean: Something isn’t right…
Meanwhile, on the far side of the concrete pillar, Vicky holds her breath, wondering if Sicko, the Orderlies and Dr. Dean will discover her intrepid actions.
A few seconds later, Sicko shakes his head and climbs into the van voluntarily.
Dr. Dean: Must have been something in the wind. Hop, hop! Secure Sicko and let’s get out of here!
The Psych Ward gets fully loaded, and then the van backs out and leaves the parking lot. Vicky Cogliano can be seen breathing heavily in relief and looking at the journalistic evidence she just obtained.
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The broadcast feed switches back to inside the main arena of the FedExForum with a wide pan of the arena.
Rudy Mac: Oh no! It looks like Vicky stole some evidence out of the Psych Ward van!
DeShawn: I know I wouldn’t get into a van with four strange men coming soon!
Suddenly, the song “Halo” by Soil blares out from the speaker and all focus goes to the entrance stage.
BOO!!!
The Asshole From Alberta, Violence, walks out from backstage with a disgusted face. He doesn’t bother to stop and look at the crowd before simply walking down to the ring.
Rudy Mac: It appears that Violence is all business here tonight!
DeShawn: If being a jerk is his business, then business is booming for him!
After Violence climbs into the ring, the music switches over to “Smooth Criminal” by Alien Ant Farm. The fans give a warm welcome to Trickster, one of Golden Pro Wrestling’s lesser-seen competitors.
Rudy Mac: In case you people at home don’t remember him, this is Trickster! He was billed as being full of pranks and misdirection, but he’s only been in action a handful of times.
DeShawn: Interesting piece of Golden Pro Wrestling trivia, Trickster was in the first-ever GPW match when he lost against Shotcaller!
Trickster quickly scales the ropes and climbs in with the much-larger Violence. The music fades out and Violence immediately bullrushes Trickster, pummeling him with a blur of fists.
Rudy Mac: He’s really going after him!
After a couple of minutes of being dominated, Trickster scrambles away and runs up the ropes. Violence continues after him but is met with a cross-body block off the top rope.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: Trickster isn’t giving up!
Violence again takes control of the match and ultimately levels Trickster with a backbreaker.
Rudy Mac: I don’t know if Trickster’s body can take that sort of punishment!
1… 2… NO!!!
The former Pure Gold Champion, Violence, begins to look frustrated. He grabs Trickster by the back of the head and drags him to the corner, where he repeated slams Trickster’s head into the turnbuckle.
Violence lets go and Trickster stumbles toward mid-ring before falling on his back. Sensing an opportunity, Violence climbs the ropes and launches out for a thunderous flying elbow drop.
Rudy Mac: BOOM!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Without hesitation, Violence grabs Trickster off the mat and throws him up on his shoulders.
Rudy Mac: Looks like he’s going for the Blur Out!
Instead, Trickster rolls off Violence’s shoulders and sneaks out of the ring. Before Violence can determine which way Trickster went, the sophomoric prankster pulls a large, life-size cardboard cutout of Golden Ben Miller from underneath the ring.
DeShawn: Wait! What’s going on here!?
Trickster props up the GBM cutout and runs around to the far side of the ring.
Rudy Mac: It looks like Trickster just set up some bait!
Indeed, Violence catches sight of the GBM cutout and walks over to the ropes with an angry face and begins yelling at the inanimate object. Meanwhile, Trickster sneaks back into the ring from the other side.
Rudy Mac: I don’t think Violence knows that’s not REALLY Golden Ben Miller!
After a moment, Violence squints his eyes and shakes his head realizing he was duped. He turns around to find Trickster waiting patiently with a grin.
KICKERY TRICKERY!!!
DeShawn: Superkick straight to the face!
1… 2… 3!!!
Trickster hops to his feet and jumps up in the air in jubilation, and the fans cheer wildly in support.
Rudy Mac: MAJOR UPSET! Trickster just took down a former Pure Gold Champion!
Violence gets to his knees and shakes his head in discomfort while Trickster jogs up the ramp and out of the main arena.
Winner:
Trickster via Kickery Trickery
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Once Violence returns to backstage, the crowd is left buzzing inside the main arena. Suddenly, the lights dim dramatically, and a pale blue light illuminates the ring.
DeShawn: What’s going on here, Rudy!?
Rudy Mac: I have no idea! This wasn’t in the show’s rundown sheet!
A moment later in the middle of the ring, a semi-transparent three-dimensional image of a person begins to flicker and come into focus.
Rudy Mac: Who is that!?
Finally, the holographic transmission of the main comes into full focus.
Rudy Mac and DeShawn: FLIP COSTA!
The crowd EXPLODES at the sight of Golden Pro Wrestling’s best-looking wrestler.
Rudy Mac: Last time we saw him, the Draconian had abducted him at Fort Knocks!
The holographic version of Flip Costa turns and smiles out to all sides of the crowd, and then begins to speak through the arena speaker system without a microphone.
Flip: Hello, my fellow humans!
The crowd pops into a frenzy of cheering.
Flip: I understand that you may have been worried sick out me after I left from Fort Knocks, and I want to assure you, I have not been harmed in any way.
DeShawn: Oh, thank god!
Flip: I am coming to you via this incredible telecommunication technology, which competes well with Verizon’s 5G wireless network. Now where am I? I am currently with the Draconian on his homeworld of Draconia.
Rudy Mac: That must be pretty far away!
Flip: I do not know how much longer I will be here, or what exactly they have planned for me. But I do know this, I won’t be leaving until I have secured the destruction of the impending asteroid HURTLING toward Earth!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s fans cheer loudly, but quiet when it appears the holographic transmission is starting to break up.
Flip: Until next time, my fellow humans!
The holographic transmission finally ends, and the lights return to normal, and the crowd pops one last time in happiness from seeing Flip Costa.
DeShawn: If anyone can get that asteroid destroyed, it’s Flip!
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With the arena still buzzing from Flip Costa’s message, the sounds of “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins begins to play, and the fans immediately respond.
BOO!!!
Your Captains, comprised of Capt. John Cunningham and Capt. Derek McDonnell come running out from backstage with their arms spread like airplane wings. Despite the acerbic fan response, they happily run to the ring and Capt. John climbs in while Capt. Derek takes a spot ringside.
Rudy Mac: Those jackass airline pilots are back!
DeShawn: Capt. John taking on a singles match, this should be interesting!
The music fades out and is replaced by “Novacain” by 10 Years. The crowd returns a VERY mixed reaction of boos and cheers when Decade comes walking onto the entrance stage.
Rudy Mac: Well, what kind of Decade will we get tonight? The do-gooder, or the unpredictable psychopath!
DeShawn: I don’t really care as long as we get a good time!
Decade gets into the ring with a focused face and the bell rings, which starts everything off. The two wrestlers lock up and begin a back-and-forth affair.
Capt. John gets the first advantage and hits a tornado DDT that sends Decade sprawling onto the mat.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Whatever is going on in Decade’s head, he’s always ready to wrestle!
Decade gets the momentum back and begins to pummel Capt. John in the corner. He pulls Capt. John upward and onto the top rope, which prompts the fans to start buzzing in anticipation.
DeShawn: What’s he doing by hooking Capt. John’s leg like that!?
The handsome Canadian wrestler jumps and falls backward into a fisherman’s suplex off the top rope.
1… 2… … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Capt. John is trying to pull out of this nose dive!
Both wrestlers get back to their feet, and Decade keeps control of the action, however Capt. John soon snags Decade and whips him to the ropes.
DeShawn: There’s Capt. Derek!
Capt. Derek pulls down the rope, which sends Decade flying onto ringside. The referee immediately hops out of the ring and starts shouting at Capt. Derek about the borderline interference.
Meanwhile, behind the referee, Capt. John comes down to ringside and grabs an empty chair, then folds it up and hammers Decade’s back.
SMACK!!!
Rudy Mac: Hogwash!
Capt. John attempts to do it again, but Decade dodges, gets up and lifts Capt. John into an inverted suplex position.
PERFECT 10 ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!
The referee turns to see what’s going on and sees Decade now rolling Capt. John into the ring.
Rudy Mac: Decade has still got work to do since he couldn’t legally pin Capt. John outside the ring!
Decade gets back to mid-ring with Capt. John and again pulls the Spirit Airlines pilot into an inverted suplex position.
PERFECT 10!!!
The crowd cheers in response to Capt. John’s punishment.
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: It looks like the fans like THIS VERSION of Decade!
The referee holds up Decade’s arms and he can be seen taking into the crowd’s affection while Your Captains slowly make their way back up the entrance ramp.
Winner:
Decade via Perfect 10
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Gold Strike 18 switches to the back parking lot of the FedExForum. All seems quiet until a blood-red Cadillac slowly creeps in with its headlights out.
Rudy Mac: Oh my! I think I might know who is in that whip!
DeShawn: Rudy! Stop using Ebonics!
The Cadillac comes to a stop close to the door into the FedExForum, and two large black men wearing all red get out of the backseat. They hold firearms in their hands, and wear equally threatening faces.
Rudy Mac: Hoo boy, it feels like we’re really gearing up for war this season!
DeShawn: I liked it better when I played Grand Theft Auto!
After the two men scan around, they nod to the car and the passenger door opens before another black man emerges. From back inside the arena, the crowd gives a surprised pop of excitement.
Rudy Mac: Shotcaller! Shotcaller! Shotcaller is back from the hospital!
Shotcaller, still bandaged on his arm and midsection, grabs a crutch from the backseat and starts hobbling his way to the door. After getting through the doorway, the two men follow him in before the red Cadillac drives off.
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The show moves back inside the main arena of the FedExForum where the crowd anxiously buzzes to itself.
Rudy Mac: Here we are folks! Tonight’s main event! Awoke has a chance to take the Pure Gold Championship from everyone’s hero, Fuse Makoto!
DeShawn: No way Awoke is getting out of here with the belt!
“Chained to the Rhythm” by Katy Perry suddenly begins to play, and purple lights pan around the crowd.
BOO!!!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s resident social justice warrior, Awoke, walks out from backstage with a new protest sign that reads “BRING BACK INTERNMENT CAMPS” which prompts even more booing from the crowd.
Rudy Mac: Hogwash! That’s harkening back to a simpler time when that sort of prejudice was acceptable!
DeShawn: Asians are minorities, too, Awoke!
Awoke makes his way down to the ring and discards his protest sign before climbing up the stairs and simply stepping over the top rope.
The crowd quiets down while Awoke walks around the ring with an angry face.
After a moment, the classic baseline that begins “Name Of The Game” by Crystal Method starts to pump through the speaker system.
The crowd LOSES IT!
Fuse Makoto comes out onto the entrance ramp with his family’s headband around his forehead, and the Pure Gold Championship belt wrapped around his waist.
Rudy Mac: Golden Pro Wrestling in a nutshell, RIGHT HERE!
DeShawn: I just got my shipment of Fuse Makoto bedsheets, and they’re as silky smooth as he is!
The champion heads down the ramp to the ring while the fans cheer on.
Rudy Mac: Fuse Makoto has achieved more than any other GPW wrestler. Not only did he dethrone Violence, but he went on to defeat THE DRACONIAN at Gold Strike 12, AND THEN he survived FORT KNOCKS with five other wrestlers using whatever weapons they wanted.
Fuse Makoto climbs into the ring and quietly walks toward Awoke, which highlights the extreme size advantage of the San Francisco SJW.
DeShawn: Can Fuse overcome this disparity!?
Rudy Mac: That’s a good question, DeShawn! Awoke is EIGHT inches taller, and 140 POUNDS HEAVIER!
Fuse Makoto backs up and takes off the Pure Gold Championship belt, which the referee then delivers down to a ringside production assistant. Back inside the ring, the two wrestlers stand face-to-face with Fuse Makoto looking directly upward at the giant blue-haired wrestler.
Rudy Mac: Here we go! The SIXTH Pure Gold Championship match ever!
The two wrestlers back up from each other and the bell rings, which prompts them to enter their fighting stances. For Fuse Makoto, it’s a traditional Japanese martial arts pose, and for Awoke, it’s a pose of a self-righteous oaf.
Finally, Awoke takes the first swing, which Fuse deftly avoids. The next minute is a game of cat-and-mouse between the different-sized opponents.
Rudy Mac: Is Awoke going to catch him or will Fuse strike like a snake!?
Indeed, Fuse sneaks to the top rope and launches a flying dropkick, which knocks Awoke to the ground.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: Looks like the champ is testing things out!
Awoke pretends to act winded from all of the chasing and Fuse Makoto appears to let down his guard. The San Francisco Social Justice Warrior suddenly grabs Fuse by the head and drops him with a massive kneebuster.
Rudy Mac: This Awoke can play some real mind games!
The blue-haired giant picks Fuse Makoto up and does a running slam into the corner turnbuckle. The ref yells at Awoke for the extra juice behind the move, but Awoke ignores him.
Indeed, Awoke brings Fuse back up, drops him with a running clothesline, and then finishes it off with a MASSIVE leg drop.
DeShawn: That leg must weigh 80 pounds!
Awoke leaves his leg covering Fuse’s face as a pin attempt.
1… 2… … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: It’s a good thing that Fuse can bench press ONE THOUSAND pounds!
The San Francisco Social Justice Warrior gets up and looks back at Fuse Makoto with annoyance.
Conversely, Fuse Makoto goes from laying on his back to completely upright via karate jump, and the crowd POPS in response.
Rudy Mac: Awoke seems to have realized what he’s up against!
Fuse comes running straightforward and spears Awoke, who stumbles backward against the ropes instead of falling down. Fuse gets back to his feet and takes another run at Awoke.
DeShawn: SPEAR NUMBER TWO from Fuse!
Again, Awoke stumbles backward against the ropes but doesn’t fall.
Rudy Mac: What’s it going to take against this huge liberal!?
Fuse runs for a third attempt at a spear stops at the last minute. Awoke, bracing his stomach for the spear doesn’t notice the rounding tornado kick coming from his head.
Rudy Mac: Here it is!
NIKUYA STRIKE!!!
The crowd BURSTS for Fuse Makoto’s best move, which finally knocks the lumbering giant onto his back.
1… 2… …. NO!!!
Rudy Mac and DeShawn: WHOA!
All of Golden Pro Wrestling’s live attendees gasp in unison in realization that Fuse Makoto’s finisher didn’t fell Awoke. Fuse Makoto scrambles to his feet with a concentrated look, while Awoke blinks his eyes and regains his composure following his unexpected kickout.
Rudy Mac: Looks like Fuse is going to have to start all over!
After getting to his feet, Awoke fakes a run at Fuse. When Fuse attempts to duck away, Awoke corners him, grabs him by the head and starts smashing it into the turnbuckle.
DeShawn: Awoke is turning into a real headache for Fuse tonight! Good thing he’s wearing that SICK bandana!
Awoke pulls Fuse back to mid-ring and nails a THUNDEROUS bulldog. Fuse flops unconsciously onto his back while Awoke rushes to get to his feet.
Rudy Mac: Now Awoke IS in control, so what does he got up his sleeves!
The San Francisco SJW picks up Fuse and throws him headfirst over the ropes onto ringside. The referee screams at Awoke while the crowd boos against the brutal tactics.
BOO!!!
DeShawn: I haven’t seen this much displeasure since I attempted fela-
Rudy Mac: Don’t say that filth on live TV, and especially not during THIS MATCH!
Awoke climbs down to ringside, pulls Fuse Makoto head between his legs.
PILEDRIVER ONTO RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!
Rudy Mac: No one can survive that!
The referee begins a count out for the two wrestlers.
1…
Awoke notices the sound and picks Fuse up from the neck.
2…
The ragged Pure Gold Champion is thrown easily by Awoke into the ring stairs, sending the large pieces of metal clanging away.
3…
The blue-haired giant gets suddenly irritated with the referee and looks up with a scream.
Awoke: You’re just favoring him because he’s ASIAN! Just like higher education!
Rudy Mac: Affirmative Action and the Supreme Court ruling is a complicated matter!
The referee takes a step back and looks down at his feet in contemplation of the accusation.
DeShawn: Pay attention to the match, ref!
While the referee is obviously distracted with white guilt, Awoke picks up his protest sign reading “BRING BACK INTERNMENT CAMPS” and SMASHES it over Fuse Makoto’s back.
BOO!!!
Awoke rolls Fuse Makoto back into the ring, picks him up and delivers his signature move.
Rudy Mac: The MOTHER of all Samoan Drops!
CANCELLED!!!
The big SJW throws his big body over the current champion and pulls Fuse Makoto’s leg over.
DeShawn: Is Awoke going to take the belt!?
1… … 2… … NO!!!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s crowd BURSTS INTO A FRENZY when Fuse Makoto kicks out. Awoke sits up with complete disbelief in his eyes.
G-P-W! G-P-W! G-P-W!
Rudy Mac: That’s why Fuse is the champ!
After what seems like an eternity, the blue-haired wrestler gets up and slowly climbs up to the top rope, and warily perches himself. Fuse Makoto starts to get to his feet when Awoke launches himself for a big splash.
DeShawn: Awoke from the top rope!?
NIKUYA STRIKE!!!
Rudy Mac: A last-second tornado kick by Fuse!
The crowd EXPLODES at Fuse’s resiliency, and the indominable champion throws his body over the challenger.
1… …. 2… … … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: THAT’S WHY HE’S THE CHAMP! THAT’S WHY HE’S THE CHAMP!
DeShawn: Fuse Makoto is a LEGEND!
Fuse Makoto is obviously dazed but gets to his feet just in time for the referee to hand him the Pure Gold Championship. The crowd hits the highest decibels of the night in adulation of Fuse Makoto’s Pure Gold title retention.
Rudy Mac: Listen to this crowd, DeShawn!
DeShawn: What did you say, Rudy!? I can’t hear you!
Still wearing his family headband, Fuse holds the Pure Gold Championship belt above his head and turns it to show all corners of the FedExForum.
Winner and STILL Pure Gold Champion:
Fuse Makoto via Nikuya Strike
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As the crowd and Fuse Makoto celebrate his successful title defense, his theme music is quickly replaced with the iconic opening of “Ambitionz Az A Riday” by 2Pac.
Rudy Mac: We know that music!
Everyone, including Fuse Makoto looks upward to the entrance ramp where Golden Pro Wrestling’s resident ‘G’ walks out.
Rudy Mac: Shotcaller is back!
Bandaged across his body and arm, and leaning on a crutch, Shotcaller can be seen holding a microphone. Behind him emerge two other homies clad in the same red color as Shotcaller’s headband.
The crowd buzzes in Shotcaller’s big entrance at the end of such a major match.
DeShawn: He’s back, but what baggage is he bringing with him!?
Inside the ring, Fuse Makoto has lowers the belt, and it hangs in next to him while Awoke remains motionless on the mat behind him.
The music fades out and Shotcaller gives a scowl.
Shotcaller: Ya know, I GOT SHOT in front of YALL.
Golden Pro Wrestling’s audience quiets down.
Shotcaller: And not ONE of YALL ever sent me not FUCKIN NOTE!
The shamed group of professional wrestling fans being to contemplate that reality until they begin to hear the Bloods gang member start laughing.
Shotcaller: You dumbass WHITE TENNESSEE MO’FUCKAS!
BOO!!!
The ‘G’ from LA begins to walk back and forth across the stage while the two other men in red colors remain in the background.
Shotcaller: Yo, I don’t give a fuck about none of ya! I been on my own since DAY ONE and I’m gonna stay that way.
BOO!!!
Suddenly, Shotcaller turns and points directly at Fuse Makoto.
Shotcaller: And you, mo’fucka! I know who it was, and YOU know who it was. It was ya’ Yakuza homies!
Back inside the ring, Fuse Makoto obviously looks concerned and ashamed while the crowd buzzes in the background.
Shotcaller: Ya, I know. You don’t say nothin’ just like I don’t say nothin’. But I’m gonna say dis… ALLEGIANCE. I’m taking that mo’fuckin’ Pure Gold Championship!
The Golden Pro Wrestling resident gang member drops the microphone and walks out while “Ambitionz Az a Ridah” by 2Pac bumps in the background.
Shotcaller’s two new homies follow him backstage.
Rudy Mac: That wraps up Gold Strike 18! Fuse Makoto needs to figure out what his honor owes Shotcaller! See you next time!
Gold Strike 18’s last shot is a close up of Fuse Makoto, who is looking down at the Pure Gold Championship with a complicated face…
All illustrations from the talented David G.