The smoke has cleared on Season 4: Allegiance, and the entire roster must now confront the altered landscape of GPW. There’s a new Pure Gold Champion, a rising faction in Draconium, and a litany of wrestlers ready to make their mark.
How will Golden Pro Wrestling Commissioner Parker Meloche navigate this new era?
anchor
Golden Pro Wrestling theme song “The Sound” by Switchfoot begins to play…
THIS!
IS!
GOLDEN!
PRO!
WRESTLING!
The camera fades into the FedExForum where thousands of fans have already filled into their seats on the floor, and every level within the entire arena!
The camera pans the arena and fans, providing shots of the ring, ramp, intro stage and Gold Screen.
The broadcast transitions to a two-shot of Golden Pro Wrestling’s announcer team.
anchor
Rudy Mac: Golden Pro Wrestling. Season 5. WELCOME BACK! I’m Rudy Mac, your Memphis rasslin’ expert, and sitting next to me is a man who barely remembers last season due to a mixture of ketamine and Old English, DeShawn Brannon!
DeShawn: Hey hey hey!
Rudy Mac: Now, DeShawn, if there’s anything left in your groggy memory of Season 4, what is it?
DeShawn: Easy! Trickster defeated Shotcaller for the Pure Gold Championship, and Draconium turned Big Buddha into Dark Duddha!
Rudy Mac: DeShawn! You’re paid handsomely to be a first-class, highly engaged employee of Golden Pro Wrestling. That is all WRONG!
DeShawn: My bad!
Rudy Mac: Let’s set the story straight!
DeShawn: Give me a refresher, Rudy!
Rudy Mac: First off, SHOTCALLER is now the new Pure Gold Champion! He and Da Bloodz, who make up the group 85 Piru, put an epic beatdown on Fuse to basically steal the belt!
DeShawn: Oh… yeah! That was crazy!
Rudy Mac: Then afterward, Draconium came to collect their due. That’s right, FLIP COSTA had defeated Ja’vek the Dauntless at Gold Strike 20, and that forced Queen Solis and the Draconian to destroy the asteroid headed toward Earth!
DeShawn: You’re my boy, Flip!
Rudy Mac: Well, get ready, DeShawn, because I’m pretty sure you don’t remember this at all.
DeShawn: You ain’t partying unless you forget something!
Rudy Mac: At the very end of Allegiance, Queen Solis transformed Flip Costa into FLIP DRACO!
DeShawn: Oh no! Was he still beautiful?
Rudy Mac: Yes, DeShawn… yes, he was! I hope you see him soon! But you know how every season starts…
DeShawn: Shots! Where’s that bottle of whiskey, Rudy!?
Rudy Mac: DeShawn! We keep Ol’ Whiskers our little secret! Anyways, every season starts with a special address from Golden Pro Wrestling Commissioner, Parker Meloche!
anchor
The unique intro of “E.I.” by Nelly begins to play through the speaker system, and the GPW fans give a raucous cheer for the organization’s business leader. Parker Meloche comes walking out in his signature gray suit and waves to the crowd before heading down the ramp to the ring.
Rudy Mac: It looks like after four seasons; Commissioner Parker Meloche has earned the trust of the fans!
DeShawn: And the trust of my bank account! I can reliably plan on eating every day!
The Golden Pro Wrestling commissioner enters the ring, and a production assistant hands him a microphone from ringside.
Parker: Hello, Golden Pro Wrestling fans!
Another burst of cheers from the crowd emits following the cheap pop.
Parker: Listen, I get it, we’re all still reeling from what we saw at Allegiance. YES, the asteroid heading toward Earth was destroyed… BUT it cost our human race dearly. Flip Costa is now FLIP DRACO!
BOO!!!
Parker: AND Fuse Makoto was defeated, thus the Shotcaller era as Pure Gold Champion has now begun!
BOO!!!
Parker: But that doesn’t mean it’s all so bad… because TONIGHT I have a SURPRISE for you good wrestling fans of Memphis.
The buzz begins to emanate around the FedExForum.
Parker: You see, there is one wrestler on this roster who continues to defy the odds of father time, and he does it by cheating… EVERY. SINGLE. MATCH.
Rudy Mac: I think we know who the commish is talking about!
Inside the ring, the young Canadian businessman raises his finger and furrows his brow.
Parker: I am, of course, talking about the everlasting Silver Champion, Jumpstart!
BOO!!!
Parker: But the fact that he seems unbeatable, and undeniably despised, means that Golden Pro Wrestling needs to throw something TRULY challenging at him. And since it’s tradition that a Silver Championship match headlines the first Gold Strike of every season, I see no better time than TONIGHT!
The crowd pops in excitement.
Parker: And, I have a very special surprise for twenty of our FIRST season ticket holders ever! Tonight, they will get to head to the back parking lot to greet Jumpstart’s mystery opponent. Thank you for your support and loyalty!
The GPW fans all cheer together, happy for the experience that those special season ticket holders will enjoy.
Parker: So, buckle up fans, because tonight you’re in for a shocking new challenger, to be revealed later in the show! And thank you all for joining us for Golden Pro Wrestling’s fifth season! Don’t forget to buy your season tickets so you don’t miss out on ANY of the action!
Another loud cheer comes from the fans, and “E.I.” by Nelly begins to play again as Parker hands off the microphone and heads up the ramp to backstage.
Rudy Mac: There’s going to be a surprise opponent for Jumpstart!
DeShawn: Finally, some good news!
anchor
After the commissioner returns backstage, “Sittin’ Sideways” by Paul Wall begins to play throughout the arena, and the crowd gives a warm pop.
Chavez and Blain, the tag team known as Bounce Squad, walk out onto the entrance ramp. They hold fingers up to their earpieces as if listening to someone’s voice and then make their way down to the ring.
Rudy Mac: Bounce Squad is always a big hurdle for opponents on most nights, but I think they have their hands full this time.
DeShawn: You could say they have some Da Bloodz on their hands!
Right on cue, the signature beginning of “California Love” blares out through the speakers.
BOO!!!
Choo Choo and Wazzup emerge from backstage walking with gangster limps.
Rudy Mac: Those limps aren’t from suffering injuries, in fact these two doled out some misery last season!
DeShawn: I’ll be surprised if we even see Endgame anytime soon!
Choo Choo hops over the ropes and squares up against Blain, and the bell rings. The fans let out an excited cheer for action to get underway.
Rudy Mac: Season 5 action STARTS NOW!
The match starts off with Choo Choo deftly outmaneuvering and escaping all of Blain’s grabbing attempts. Choo Choo sneaks behind Blain, jumps off the ropes and hits a bulldog onto the mat.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: Nice bulldawg. And that’s spelt bull d-a-w-g!
Rudy Mac: I see what you did there!
Wazzup gets into the ring next and beings to lay down a beating on Blain. The larger of the two Bloods gang members lifts Blain into the air for his signature spinning powerbomb.
BODYBAGG-NO!!!
Suddenly, Wazzup drops Blain off to the side and makes a run at Chavez who is standing on the ring apron. The unsuspecting Chavez gets drilled onto the ringside mat.
While the referee checks on Chavez, Choo Choo launches off the corner rope and drills Blain with a dropkick to the head. The big man wobbles but doesn’t fall.
Rudy Mac: Choo Choo just stunned Blain!
Wazzup gets another chance to lift Blain up into a spinning powerbomb.
BODYBAGGED!!!
1… 2… 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Da Bloodz pick up a win, and it seems like Bounce Squad didn’t even have a chance!
DeShawn: Chavez didn’t even get to enter the ring!
Winner:
Da Bloodz via Bodybagged
anchor
Inside the ring, Choo Choo and Wazzup begin to lay stomps into Blain’s head. The referee pleads for them to stop, but Choo Choo grabs the referee by the head and tosses them out of the ring.
Rudy Mac: Oh no! They’re abusing the staff now!
DeShawn: If they’re willing to hurt a ref, who knows what they’d do to a handsome, intelligent color commentator!
Chavez gets to his feet at ringside and sees the continued attack on his teammate. He climbs into the ring to save Blain, but is met with a vicious clothesline by Wazzup, which sends him back to the ringside floor again.
Rudy Mac: Blain is in quite a pickle right now! He’s helpless!
With Blain firmly knocked out, Choo Choo climbs up to the top of the turnbuckle and launches out into an Inverted Phoenix Splash.
THE HIT UP!!!
DeShawn: They’re just showing off, now!
Da Bloodz give each other a fist bump and a nod and then stand by as if waiting for something.
Rudy Mac: What’s the hold up here!? Either continue the beat down or head back up the ramp, Da Bloodz!
YA’LL CAN’T DENY IT…
The signature lyrics of “Ambitionz Az A Ridah” by 2Pac begin to play.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: It hasn’t taken long for Shotcaller to show up!
The gangster from LA walks slowly out from backstage with the Pure Gold Championship belt around his waist, and a microphone in his hand. Choo Choo and Wazzup climb out of the ring and make their way up to the entrance stage where they take position standing behind Shotcaller.
DeShawn: 85 Piru is pretty intimidating whenever they get together!
The music fades out, but the crowd’s displeasure persists.
BOO!!!
After the arena calms down into a buzz, Shotcaller lifts the microphone to his mouth.
Shotcaller: Ya know sumthin, this time last season, I was laying on da concrete outside dis building BLEEDIN OUT!
DeShawn: I remember that!
Rudy Mac: Of course you do, it was the murder attempt at the end of Gold Strike 15!
Standing on the entrance stage, Shotcaller continues.
Shotcaller: And like I said when I came back, NUNYALL GAVE A FUCK! You corny ass Memphis hillbillies went about your business lovin’ on dem fucks like Golden Ben Miller and Fuse Makoto!
The mention of the organization’s two biggest fan favorites prompts a huge cheer from the Golden Pro Wrestling fans.
Shotcaller: But I didn’t give a fuck! I got back on da horse and rode my way to Allegiance, where I took da Pure Gold Championship!
BOO!!!
Behind the new champ, Wazzup and Choo Choo give cocky nods.
Shotcaller: And I’m just here to tell ya, I ain’t going NOWHERE. Season 5 is MY SEASON! Ya get used to shit like what just happened here, cuz 85 Piru finna stomp out everyone on dis roster!
After dropping the microphone, Shotcaller’s music begins to play again and the trio of 85 Piru walk backstage.
Rudy Mac: If Shotcaller’s telling the truth, this is going to be a BRUTAL championship reign!
anchor
Gold Strike 21 transitions backstage to Commissioner Parker Meloche’s office inside FedExForum. The consummate professional sits at his desk on his laptop, furiously typing away on some business matter.
There is a polite knock at the door, which prompts Parker to look up from his computer.
Parker: Come in.
The door cracks open, and a man enters wearing a blue jacket and black pants with ‘FBI’ in yellow letters. He pulls something out from inside the breast pocket of his blazer and presents Parker with an official FBI identification badge.
Man: Agent Leonard, Federal Bureau of Investigation. Are you Parker Meloche?
The Golden Pro Wrestling commissioner immediately sits up straight in his chair with a serious face.
Parker: Well, um, yes sir. I’m Parker Meloche. How can I help you?
The FBI agent puts his FBI badge back inside his jacket and looks sternly toward Parker Meloche.
Agent Leonard: Mr. Meloche, I’ll be straight with you. I’m investigating reported paranormal activity happening at your on-site events here at Golden Pro Wrestling. Are you available to answer a few questions?
Inside FedExForum, the fans buzz with anticipation at the combustible mixture of authority between GPW and the federal government.
Parker: Yes, sir. Please have a seat and I’ll tell you anything I know.
Agent Leonard: While this is simply an informal discussion, so I’d prefer to stand. For the past few ‘seasons’ of your wrestling promotion, there has been a man which your organization has thinly veiled as an extraterrestrial being.
The young Canadian businessman acts as if thinking deeply.
Parker: Well, there are a few interesting characters on our roster…
Agent Leonard: The Draconian. I’m talking about the Draconian.
The GPW commissioner pretends to catch on suddenly.
Parker: Ah yes! He’s a mysterious one. We’re not sure what country he’s from, but yes, he very might well be an alien from some other nation.
The crowd inside FedExForum begins to laugh.
Agent Leonard: Listen, Meloche. I’m on to you. We’ve followed the whole unbelievable story including the destruction of the asteroid, Queen Solis, and this whole situation with…
There is a brief pause while Agent Leonard checks a notebook he had been holding in his left hand.
Agent Leonard: …Flip Costa.
Despite trying to play coy, Parker’s eyes go wide, and the FBI agent leans forward, placing his hands on Parker’s desk.
Agent Leonard: You didn’t think the federal government would catch on? At first, we thought this was just more ridiculous professional wrestling programming, but then there was the asteroid.
Parker: What about the asteroid?
The serious federal agent squints into Parker’s gaze.
Agent Leonard: NASA had been tracking that asteroid for roughly ten years, and we knew exactly where it was headed… and then we detected the explosion in outer space during your Allegiance event.
The young Canadian businessman sits back in his chair and waves his hands in front of him trying to diffuse the situation.
Parker: I think you’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion. We’re just professional wrestling. Entertainment. Doing our best to give the fans a good match… the rest of the stuff is out of my hands.
The FBI detective gives Parker a sober face and shakes his head in disappointment. He turns to leave Parker’s office, but before exiting the door, he looks back.
Agent Leonard: Listen, Meloche. There’s something going on here and I know you’re in on it. I’ll be here all season, and I will get to the bottom of it.
After the federal agent closes the door behind him, Parker sits back in his desk chair and exhales, obviously stressed by the encounter he just had.
anchor
The show moves back to inside the main arena of FedExForum where the fans buzz anxiously for the next part. “Take Me To The River” by Talking Heads hits the speaker system, and the crowd gives a decent pop.
Rudy Mac: One of the GPW’s newest wrestlers is back! Raft Daddy has returned for Season 5 after winning his debut against Cory Stenson at Gold Strike 19.
The long-haired professional rafting guide comes out from backstage and walks down the ramp to the ring in his river outfit.
DeShawn: Rugged, handsome, free-spirited… Raft Daddy might be the complete package!
Rudy Mac: Maybe on Match.com!
Once Raft Daddy takes his place in the middle of the ring, the music switches to “Talk Amongst Yourselves” by Grand National, and the crowd takes an apprehensive reaction.
From backstage emerges a curious looking wrestler, complete with feminine and masculine characteristics.
Rudy Mac: From one newcomer to another, Raft Daddy will be taking on Whatevs!
DeShawn: Not another San Francisco SJW!
Rudy Mac: Much different, DeShawn! Whatevs is from Portland, Oregon!
The GPW fans murmur to themselves while the two wrestlers square up in the middle of the ring. The bell rings and the match gets underway.
For the first couple of minutes, it appears to be a dual of two all-around wrestlers who trade technical maneuvers. Whatevs gets the first advantage by flipping Raft Daddy into a fisherman’s suplex pin attempt.
Rudy Mac: Whatevs is looking for a victory to start their GPW career!
1… 2… NO!!!
Raft Daddy begins to climb back into the match and scores several takedowns. After whipping Whatevs off the ropes, he drills Whatevs with a jumping DDT and goes for the three-count.
1… 2… NO!!!
Despite nearly losing, Whatevs jumps to their feet and spins to face Raft Daddy. The moment of athleticism prompts a small pop from the crowd.
DeShawn: Whatevs seems to really care!
The match moves on, and it’s obvious that the two wrestlers are technically sound. Whatevs has a brief lapse in judgment going for a spear and is met with a knee to the face by Raft Daddy.
The professional rafting guide lifts Whatevs over his shoulders and nails a fallaway slam.
GO WITH THE FLOW!!!
Rudy Mac: That’s his signature move!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Following their spirited kickout, Whatevs spends a minute grinding Raft Daddy down with a series of high-speed moments. They eventually catch Raft Daddy from behind and hit a powerful belly-to-back suplex.
Rudy Mac: That’s Whatevs signature move!
THE WHATEVER!!!
1… 2… 3!!!
DeShawn: Signature move for him… her… THEM!
Whatevs pops up and receives a warm cheer from the Golden Pro Wrestling fans for their debut victory.
Winner:
Whatevs via The Whatever
anchor
The show shifts to the backstage parking lot where a camera waits by the rear entrance of FedExForum. A throng of season ticketholders patiently await in an excited atmosphere.
Rudy Mac: Hoo boy, those are some lucky fans!
DeShawn: The first ones to welcome Jumpstart’s mystery opponent!
Outside of the camera’s view, the sound of a very large vehicle’s engine can be heard revving. The deafening mechanical roar nearly blows out the speakers inside FedExForum.
DeShawn: My ears!
Rudy Mac: I think we’ve heard this noise before! Way back at Gold Strike 2, if I’m right!
Suddenly, a massive, orange F350 with enormous tires rolls into view, which prompts the both the season ticket holds outside, and crowd inside FedExForum to produce its biggest pop of the night.
Rudy Mac: He’s back! He’s back!
DeShawn: The king!
The truck rolls to a stop while the cheering continues, and the driver’s side door pops open. Large brown boots appear and what follows is the familiar black and orange attire of the Golden Pro Wrestling legend.
Inside the arena, the crowd is audibly whipped into a frenzy. In the parking lot, the season ticket holders raise their arms in adulation.
Rudy Mac: KING CRAB MACK IS BACK!
The former undefeated Golden Pro Wrestling Hardcore Champion gives a grin to the fans, and then a dead, focused stare to the camera. The crowd quiets down as it becomes obvious King Crab Mack is about to give a statement.
KCM: That’s right people… I’M BACK!
The crowd pops off once more.
KCM: I was gone for last season trying to get my family crabbing business back on track, and now that that is done, I’m here to drop some FULL POTS!
Rudy Mac: We haven’t seen his finisher in what seems like ages!
DeShawn: I’m ready to see that jumping backbreaker!
KCM: And I’m not back just to take over the hardcore division this time, I’m here for the big belts, and it starts with the SILVER CHAMPIONSHIP!
Another exaltation of excitement comes out of the crowd.
KCM: Tonight, I’m going to give Jumpstart a whipping that he can’t cheat his way out of. He is FUCKED!
The GPW fans cheer wildly, and King Crab Mack makes his way past the crowd and the camera and into rear entrance door.
Rudy Mac: We now know who Jumpstart’s mystery opponent is, and it’s a man who is 6-0 in GPW matches.
DeShawn: Sounds like Jumpstart is in a world of trouble!
anchor
While the crowd still buzzes from the return of King Crab Mack, the show transitions to a backstage hallway where GPW reporter Vicky Cogliano stands by with her microphone. Next to her is GPW’s newest wrestler, Whatevs.
Vicky: Hello, Golden Pro Wrestling fans! I’m here with Whatevs, fresh off their first win!
The ambiguously gendered wrestler maintains a relatively serious face and nods back to Vicky. They then speak in a simultaneously soft and deep voice.
Whatevs: Thanks, Vicky. It’s a pleasure to be a part of this great wrestling organization.
Vicky: Golden Pro Wrestling doesn’t know very much about you yet. Can you give our fans a quick introduction about who you are, and what you hope to accomplish?
Whatevs: It’s simple, Vicky. I’m here to WIN. No bells. No whistles. Just straightforward victory is all I’m going for.
Before Vicky can ask her next question, an incredibly large wrestler with blue hair enters the frame.
BOO!!!
The fans react strongly at the sight of Awoke, Golden Pro Wrestling’s resident radical liberal. Whatevs looks over and gives Awoke a suspicious look.
Awoke: Hi there Whatevs, I wanted to come by and introduce myself to a fellow enlightened wrestler. I’m Awoke.
Whatevs: Come again?
The massive San Francisco SJW gets a puzzled face.
Awoke: Well, obviously you’re a member of the tribe, and I am looking forward to partnering with you to achieve our social goals in addition to dominating this backwards wrestling promotion.
Whatevs: I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m here to wrestle. I’m here to win.
Awoke: Yes, of course! The best way to achieve our goals is ACTIONS, not words! Each time you win is a victory for our movement!
Whatevs: Listen, soy boy…
The ambivalent remark prompts cheers and laughter from inside the FedExForum. GPW’s newest wrestler continues.
Whatevs: I’m a wrestler. Nothing more. I’m not a part of some movement.
The blue-haired giant continues to look confused.
Awoke: Wait, I don’t get it. You’re from Portland… you’re tra-
Whatevs: Who the hell are you to assume anything about my identity!?
Awoke: Uh, I mean, it’s obvious…
Whatevs: Listen, Awoke, pieces of shit like you are the reason more than half of this country feels judged and offended. INCLUDING ME! I’m not part of some movement. I’m just a person who is here to wrestler. THAT’S IT!
San Francisco’s SJW steps back and gets an angry scowl.
Awoke: You know what I can’t stand more than a MAGA-tard? It’s a TRAITOR TO THE LEFT! It’s such a disappointment to see that this isn’t going to work out for me.
Whatevs: Of course, it’s all about YOU. Just stay out of my way while you go fight for some silly cause that 80% of the country doesn’t support.
Awoke: Argh!
After Awoke storms off, Whatevs turns to face the camera once again.
Whatevs: No judgment. No resentment. I’m not here to do anything other than WIN.
Despite what feels like a cultural clash, the Golden Pro Wrestling fans cheer in support of Whatevs. The camera looks back to GPW’s reporter, Vicky Cogliano.
Vicky: Whatevs, ladies and gentlemen!
anchor
Gold Strike 21 moves back inside the main arena of FedExForum where the Memphis, Tennessee wrestling fans await the next wrestling match.
“Bottom of a Bottle” by Smile Empty Soul begins to play, and the crowd gives a warm reception for Crosscheck Beck.
Rudy Mac: Golden Pro Wrestling’s resident hockey enforcer is back in action for Season 5!
DeShawn: He may have come up short against Jumpstart for the Silver Championship last season, but I still think he’s one of our best mid-tier wrestlers!
Rudy Mac: Pretty solid analysis there, DeShawn, but that’s my job!
After Crosscheck Beck gets into the ring, the lights dim inside the arena, and the intro guitar chords of “Midnight Voyage” by Ghostland Observatory emanate from the speaker system.
A loud POP goes up from the fans, and a once-handsome man walks out slowly from backstage.
Rudy Mac: Flip Costa… no, Flip DRACO is here!
DeShawn: What as Draconium done with our heartthrob!
The now-pale wrestler in modified Draconium-style wrestling gear slowly makes his way to the ring. He ignores most of the fans who scream out in support of him.
Crosscheck Beck and Flip Draco square up mid-ring, and the sound of the bell starts the action.
Rudy Mac: Looks like we’re getting our first taste of what Flip Draco is all about!
Flip Draco gets off to a quick start and out-performs his opponent for the first few minutes. He finally grabs hold of Crosscheck Beck and nails a tornado DDT.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: It looks like all business for Flip tonight! We’re not seeing any of his usual grins and winks to the ladies in the crowd!
DeShawn: I’ll keep winking at him to see if I can get a reaction!
With a serious face, Flip drags Crosscheck Beck to the corner and attempts to whip him across the ring. Instead, Crosscheck Beck reverses and pins Flip in the corner, and then climbs the ropes above him to lay down thunderous punches.
The crowd counts alongside each punch.
1! 2! 3! 4! 5!
Rudy Mac: There’s that hockey brawler mentality!
Crosscheck Beck pulls Flip out to mid-ring and then lifts Flip into the air and drops a jumping vertical suplex.
MAJOR PENALTY!!!
Rudy Mac: A devastating finisher!
1… 2… … NO!!!
The former Memphis Bears hockey player looks frustrated for a moment but then brings Flip Draco back to his feet. He whips Flip Draco off the ropes, however Flip returns with a flying cross-body block.
DeShawn: Flip Draco is back in the driver’s seat!
Flip Draco, not showing any of his usual emotion, gets to the top rope and launches out into a senton elbow drop.
THE FLIPOFF!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: He may look different. He may act differently. But he’s still the SAME incredible performer!
The crowd releases a mixture of boos and cheers, a manifestation of the conflicted feelings for the former fan favorite.
Flip Draco simply stands up above Crosscheck Beck’s body with a blank face.
Winner:
Flip Draco via The Flipoff
anchor
Inside the ring, the crowd buzzes anxiously while Flip Draco stands both motionless and emotionless.
Rudy Mac: What’s going on here!? What’s Flip doing?
After a long pause, Flip begins to speak, and despite a lack of microphone, his voice is broadcasted across the speaker system in a deep, modulated accent.
Flip Draco: The ‘Flip’ you once knew is gone. Flip Draco is all that remains, and I pledge my loyalty to Queen Solis and Draconium.
The distraught crowd cries out with stress while the lights dim. Still standing at the center of the ring, a blue light begins to shine all around Flip’s body.
Rudy Mac: Looks like Flip is going back to the spaceship!
Indeed, Flip Draco’s body dematerializes in front of the entire arena and completely disappears.
DeShawn: Beam back, Flip! I need you!
Rudy Mac: We BOTH do!
The lights come back on inside FedExForum, and Crosscheck Beck groggily gets to his feet and heads up the entrance ramp.
anchor
With the ring cleared, the crowd waits anxiously for Gold Strike 21’s main event.
Rudy Mac: As always, the first Gold Strike of each season ends with a Silver Championship defense, and we’re treated to our third installment featuring the reigning Silver Champion, Jumpstart!
DeShawn: I’ve burned my Jumpstart pajamas, taken my Jumpstart poster off the wall, and changed my Discord username from Jumpstart4life420!
Rudy Mac: Well, Jumpstart is in for a challenge tonight because he’s fac-
Suddenly, the unique opening guitar rift of “Slit Wrist Theory” by 36 Crazyfists hits the speaker system, and the crowd goes NUTS!
King Crab Mack walks out from the back with a serious face and stops at the entrance stage to throw up an arm to the crowd in recognition.
Rudy Mac: He’s BACK! King Crab Mack has returned for Golden Pro Wrestling after spending Season 4 in Alaska!
DeShawn: Sounds like he righted the ship for his family crabbing business, and I hope he’s ready to right the ship in GPW!
KCM climbs into the ring and maintains his serious demeanor. But then his music is replaced by Joywave’s “Destruction,” which prompts a reaction from the fans.
BOO!!!
Jumpstart emerges onto the entrance stage with the Silver Championship belt wrapped around his waist, and a smug smile.
Rudy Mac: Full of himself as ever! Jumpstart probably won’t even admit to HIMSELF that he doesn’t deserve that belt!
DeShawn: I spent years worshipping him, but not anymore! Boo this man!
The veteran wrestler from Ontario shrugs off the crowd’s anger and climbs into the ring. His music fades out as he hands the Silver Championship belt off to a production assistant and squares up against King Crab Mack.
The two wrestlers approach each other, which gives away the size difference.
Rudy Mac: We’ve got Jumpstart at a compact 5’9” and King Crab Mack at a stout 6’4”!
There’s a brief pause, and Jumpstart kicks off the action by running to the ropes, returning to mid-ring and sliding through King Crab Mack’s legs. Now behind KCM, Jumpstart kneels and delivers a low blow!
Rudy Mac: Hog wash!
DeShawn: I don’t think that was legal!
The referee immediately calls the disqualification, and the bell rings at once.
Rudy Mac: Jumpstart just won by getting himself DQ’d!
Jumpstart yells down to the production assistant for his belt, but before it can be handed to him, the familiar intro of “E.I.” by Nelly hits the speakers. The fans cheer when they see Golden Pro Wrestling Commissioner Parker Meloche walk out onto the entrance stage with a microphone.
Rudy Mac: Looks like that got Parker’s attention!
The music dies down, and both wrestlers turn their attention to the GPW boss.
Parker: No, no, NO! Jumpstart, that’s ENOUGH!
Back inside the ring, Jumpstart feigns confusion.
Parker: You’re not getting away with that! That’s not just cheating King Crab Mack, that’s cheating THE FANS!
Jumpstart makes a chagrined face and waves his hand toward Parker dismissively.
Parker: I’m restarting this match, and if you try to get disqualified on purpose again, I’m personally going to STRIP you of the Silver Championship!
The raucous arena of FedExForum pops off.
Parker: Ring the bell!
The commissioner heads backstage, and the crowd comes alive when the bell signals for the match to begin again.
Rudy Mac: Jumpstart has no choice but to fight fair!
DeShawn: At least until the referee is looking away!
Inside the ring, KCM rushes Jumpstart and clotheslines him to the ground. For the next couple of minutes, Jumpstart is on the defense and is getting clobbered by the more powerful challenger.
KCM lifts Jumpstart into a fireman’s carry and slams him to the mat.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: You must admit, Jumpstart can still take a pounding!
The match continues, and Jumpstart gains the upper hand with a swift leg scissor maneuver. While King Crab Mack lay on the mat, Jumpstart hits a standing moonsault.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: Stay tough, KCM!
For the next few minutes, it’s back and forth, and the crowd is dazzled by dueling power vs. high flying moves. Ultimately, King Crab Mack corners Jumpstart and drills him in the midsection with multiple knees.
Rudy Mac: That looks impossible to escape!
King Crab Mack pulls Jumpstart to mid-ring hammers Jumpstart with a fisherman’s suplex into a pin attempt.
1… 2… NO!!!
KCM looks slightly frustrated, and lifts Jumpstart back to his feet, who is obviously dazed. When King Crab Mack whips Jumpstart across the ring, Jumpstart makes an obvious redirection and plows into the referee.
Rudy Mac: That looked like it was on purpose! Jumpstart is just trying to get the referee out of the way to pull one of his cheating moves!
Indeed, Jumpstart rushes back at KCM, and slides between his legs.
DeShawn: We saw this earlier in the match!
Just when Jumpstart tries to go for another low blow, King Crab Mack donkey kicks Jumpstart in the head, which prompts a loud cheer from the fans.
Rudy Mac: You can’t fool King Crab Mack twice, apparently!
Jumpstart gets to his feet and finds the powerful KCM towering over him. The Bering Sea Bad Ass shakes his head in disapproval, and lifts Jumpstart up into the air. KCM then jumps up into the air and drops the current Silver Champion with a backbreaker.
THE FULL POT!!!
The referee comes back to his senses and starts to call the pinfall attempt.
1… … 2… … … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Dethroned! Jumpstart is no longer the Silver Champion!
DeShawn: Go pound sand, Jumpstart!
The Silver Championship belt is handed to King Crab Mack while the fans go absolutely BONKERS for the end of Gold Strike 21’s main event.
Winner and NEW Silver Champion:
King Crab Mack via The Full Pot
anchor
King Crab Mack takes a moment to hold the belt in both hands and look at it, and the crowd bursts out into an impromptu chant.
KING CRAB MACK! KING CRAB MACK! KING CRAB MACK!
Rudy Mac: Finally, DeShawn! Something seems to have gone RIGHT in Golden Pro Wrestling!
DeShawn: I thought after all the horrible happenings at Allegiance that it was downhill!
KCM takes the Silver Championship belt and climbs to the top of a turnbuckle and lifts the belt up to the crowd. Jumpstart gets to his knees and sees King Crab Mack celebrating.
Rudy Mac: We’ll have to see how Jumpstart handles this.
DeShawn: I’m guessing we’ll be seeing some clawing and scratching when he tries to get back on the championship radar!
Jumpstart wears an expression of shock and disbelief and looks down at the mat with his hands on his thighs.
Rudy Mac: That is all for Gold Strike 21! Again, welcome back for Golden Pro Wrestling’s Season 5! WE’RE JUST GETTING STARTED!
The camera shows Jumpstart still on the mat in the middle of the ring with KCM standing triumphantly atop a turnbuckle, and then fades to black…
All illustrations from the talented David G.