Jumpstart may have lost the Silver Championship, but now he thinks it’s time to CASH IN! Will Parker Meloche give him a Pure Gold Championship title shot?
See who will get a crack at Shotcaller and the Pure Gold Championship at Gold Strike 23! Plus Violence returns to the scene of the crime and takes another swipe at Corbin Fiscal and Cory Stenson!
Season 5 is in FULL SWING!
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Golden Pro Wrestling theme song “The Sound” by Switchfoot begins to play…
THIS!
IS!
GOLDEN!
PRO!
WRESTLING!
The camera fades into the FedExForum where thousands of fans have already filled into their seats on the floor, and every level within the entire arena!
The camera pans the arena and fans, providing shots of the ring, ramp, intro stage and Gold Screen.
The broadcast transitions to a two-shot of Golden Pro Wrestling’s announcer team.
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Rudy Mac: Welcome BACK to Golden Pro Wrestling Season 5, and we’re plowing ahead into GOLD STRIKE 22! I’m Rudy Mac, your Memphis rasslin’ expert, and sitting next to me is a man who can’t solve a CAPTCHA, DeShawn Brannon!
DeShawn: Hey hey hey!
Rudy Mac: Now, DeShawn, GPW is still OVER THE MOON for the return of King Crab Mack, and the fact that he dethroned Jumpstart from the Silver Championship.
DeShawn: Finally, someone Jumpstart COULDN’T screw over!
Rudy Mac: But the word on the street is that he has already turned his attention to something else.
DeShawn: Like apologizing to all of his longtime fans!?
Rudy Mac: I doubt it! Also, tonight on Gold Strike 22, we have Trickster stepping into the Hardcore Division against Reject, and the Dominars will be defending their tag team titles against the FORMER champions, Endgame!
DeShawn: I like this rundown!
Rudy Mac: Now let me give you an in-depth viewpoint and analysis of these upcoming matches, which draw upon my fifty years of experience covering our sport. I’d say my opinions all start from when I fell in love with wrestling as a little bo-
Golden Pro Wrestling’s resident wrestling aficionado is suddenly cut off by a wrestler’s intro music.
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“Destruction” by Joywave blasts through the speakers and Jumpstart walks out from backstage with a perturbed expression.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Jumpstart just cut me off! Yet another reason I can’t stand this guy!
The veteran Canadian wrestler walks down the ramp and climbs into the ring. He’s promptly handed a microphone by a production assistant and waits until the fan’s jeering subsides.
Jumpstart: Okay, okay, I get it. You all HATE me!
GPW’s fans pop loudly in agreement.
Jumpstart: But frankly, I can’t let that bother me, because I’m simply doing what it takes to SURVIVE! And survive I did, for TWO FULL SEASONS I fended off every Silver Championship challenger that was thrown at me. And it didn’t end until Commissioner Meloche decided he gets to call all the shots and SCREW ME OVER!
Rudy Mac: Well, the commissioner DOES get to call all the shots!
The crowd buzzes while Jumpstart continues his diatribe.
Jumpstart: Well, now I’m going to make him call ANOTHER shot! This time, it isn’t to screw me over! Meloche, get your ass out here!
The arena murmurs to themselves, and then “E.I.” by Nelly starts to play, and the crowd cheers for GPW’s head honcho.
Rudy Mac: Jumpstart wanted Commissioner Meloche’s attention, and now he’s got it!
The young businessman walks out onto the entrance stage inside FedExForum with a microphone in hand. His music fades out, and the handsome pro wrestling executive begins to speak.
Parker: Alright, alright, Jumpstart. What do you want now?
Jumpstart: This is it, Parker! Nobody in GPW history has held onto a title as long as I did, and it’s time I’m rewarded for my resilience!
Everyone in the stadium begins to laugh at the irony.
Rudy Mac: Resilience? He cheated every time he defended the Silver Championship!
The GPW commissioner smirks incredulously.
Parker: I’m going to let your bogus self-analysis pass, but what is it that you’re getting at?
Jumpstart: I want a shot at the PURE GOLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: It looks like the fans don’t agree with his demand!
On the entrance stage, Parker paces back and forth for a moment deep in thought before raising the microphone to his mouth.
Parker: Alright, Jumpstart, here’s what I’m going to do. Firstly, YES, you held onto the Silver Championship for a long time, which is impressive for a man of your… age.
Jumpstart: Age has nothing to-
Parker: I’m not finished!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s fans cheer when Commissioner Meloche cuts off Jumpstart.
Parker: Secondly, your antics haven’t exactly proven that you earned an outright crack at the bat against Shotcaller. First, you need to DESERVE a chance to get into that caliber of a matchup… which is why TONIGHT you’re going to participate in a Pure Gold Championships NUMBER ONE CONTENDER MATCH!
Rudy Mac: WHOA!
Everyone inside FedExForum responds with a mixed, yet excited, reaction.
Jumpstart: Seriously!? I have to EARN it? FINE! Who’s the chump that I need to throw in the trash can!?
Parker: I’ve got a guy who’s been waiting in the wings for another opportunity to win GPW’s most prestigious title… a man who holds a GPW record TEN wins… a man who just disposed of Awoke at Allegiance…
The crowd catches onto who Commissioner Meloche is referring to, and they begin to whip into a frenzy.
Parker: I’m talking about none other than… GOLDEN BEN MILLER!
FedExForum pops off with a MAJOR reaction for their everlasting hero. Inside the ring, Jumpstart looks stunned.
Rudy Mac: If Jumpstart wants to be the best, it sounds like he’ll have to BEAT the best!
After a minute of wild cheering, the GPW fans settle down to hear Jumpstart’s response.
Jumpstart: You know what… OKAY! Serve your golden boy up on a platter and I’ll take care of business!
Parker: I have no doubt you’ll… try. Good luck, old timer!
“Nelly” by E.I. hits the speaker system again and Parker Meloche walks backstage and leaves Jumpstart fuming in the middle of the ring.
Rudy Mac: Jumpstart. Golden Ben Miller. Pure Gold Championship NUMBER ONE CONTENDER MATCH for Gold Strike 22’s main event!
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The show goes backstage where Corbin Fiscal and Cory Stenson are talking together in a backstage hallway.
Cory Stenson: Damn, Corbin! Looks like our boy Ben is lining up for another shot at the Pure Gold Championship!
Corbin Fiscal: You know it! Someone needs to snuff out Shotcaller’s title run before it gets serious.
Suddenly, thudding footsteps can be heard from around a hallway corner.
BOO!!!
The crowd responds negatively when they see the former Pure Gold Champion enter the scene. Corbin and Cory instantly assume defensive postures.
Rudy Mac: Looks like those two haven’t forgotten the beatdown Violence delivered to them at Allegiance last season!
The Asshole From Alberta stops in front of the two wrestlers and sneers.
Violence: Oh, at ease, dipshits… I mean, soldiers!
Corbin Fiscal: What the hell do you want?
Violence: I’m not sure if you remember, since I left you both unconscious, but I put a hurting on you both at Allegiance.
The two Golden Pros look at each other and then back to Violence with annoyed faces.
Corbin Fiscal: You bum-rushed us, dude.
Cory Stenson: Yeah, you SUCKED ASS during Season 4 and decided to take it out on us!
Violence: Ha! You think I need to surprise you to whip the shit out of you BOTH?
Cory Stenson: Who cares WHAT you think? You’re Mr. Irrelevant as far as Season 5 goes.
Golden Pro Wrestling’s accountant, Corbin Fiscal, gives a chuckle in agreement with Cory Stenson. Violence narrows his eyes and looks at them both.
Violence: Is that so, huh? Well, I just had a little meeting with our friend Mr. Meloche, and he agreed that I should get the opportunity to turn that idea around!
Corbin Fiscal: What are you talking about?
Violence: Mr. Meloche says that as a former Pure Gold Champion, I’m entitled to put in match requests, which I DID! You see, later tonight I’m going to show what I’m about when I BEAT YOU BOTH!
The crowd back inside FedExForum pop in surprise of the match announcement.
Cory Stenson: You serious, dude? You want to take us on in a handicap match?
Violence: The way I see it, anyone who goes up against ME is the one who is handicapped.
Corbin Fiscal: That’s literally not how these sorts of matches are supposed to be set up in terms of show dynamics.
Violence: Oh, fuck off with your storytelling bullshit. You’re both FUCKED!
The former Pure Gold Champion puffs out his chest and walks off laughing down the hallway.
Rudy Mac: I’d say Violence vs. Cory Stenson and Corbin Fiscal might be an even match!
DeShawn: Hoo boy!
Cory Stenson and Corbin Fiscal both look at each other with concerned faces.
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Gold Strike 22 returns to inside the FedExForum arena bowl, and “Smooth Criminal” by Alien Ant Farm blares from the speaker system. A sly, small wrestler walks out onto the entrance stage.
Rudy Mac: It feels like we don’t see Trickster very often, but when we do, he usually has something fun up his sleeve.
DeShawn: Magic is real!
Rudy Mac: Well, we’re about to see if Trickster has some magic in the Hardcore Division!
Trickster takes his place in the ring, and then “Bloodwork” by 36 Crazyfists begins to play throughout the arena.
BOO!!!
The masked incel, Reject, stomps out from backstage carrying his barbed wire bat.
Rudy Mac: The former GPW Hardcore Champion and stalker of GPW reporter Vicky Cogliano is back in action for Season 5!
DeShawn: I wonder if he still has the hots for Vicky!?
Rudy Mac: Probably!
Reject gets into the ring, and the two wrestlers face off after the bell rings. The first couple of minutes of hardcore action mainly revolve around Trickster ducking and fading away from Reject’s bat swings.
Rudy Mac: Trickster is pretty slippery!
Reject finally nails Trickster in the stomach and then delivers a facebuster onto his bat.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: Stay tough, Trickster!
Trickster then gets up and takes the momentum. First by hitting a running dropkick against the bat into Reject’s face and then climbing the top rope for a flying elbow drop.
1… 2… NO!!!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s resident prank artist throws Reject out of the ring and then follows him.
Trickster reaches under the ring and pulls out a very old phone. He holds the phone receiver up to his ear as if making a call and then whips it at Reject. The phone receiver cracks into pieces from the impact.
Rudy Mac: That’s what I call ‘dialing someone up’!
1… 2… NO!!!
An angered Reject retakes control of the match and delivers a double knee gutbuster onto the ringside mat.
LEFT SWIPE!!!
Rudy Mac: That finisher is devastating! I’m guessing this is over!
1… 2… …
Suddenly, a voice begins to speak over the speaker system, and Reject leaves the pin attempt position.
Vicky: Reject, I hope you’re listening. It’s me, Vicky.
Reject gets to a kneeling position above Trickster’s prone body and looks as if he’s listening intently.
Vicky: I know our relationship hasn’t gone smoothly, em dash, but I’d like to see if we can rekindle the fire.
The masked incel gets to his feet and looks as if he’s confused but also elated.
Rudy Mac: Something seems off about this! Nobody says ‘em dash’ out loud, and we know AI uses em dashes too liberally!
Vicky: Anyways, if you can find me, I’ll be waiting with rose pedals across my body in your locker room.
Just when Reject forms a twisted smile under his mask, he turns around and is met with a super kick by Trickster.
KICKERY TRICKERY!!!
1… 2… 3!!!
Rudy Mac: That must be it! Trickster used AI to create an audio recording of Vicky Cogliano to distract Reject!
DeShawn: AI caramba!
The crowd cheers at the chicanery, and Trickster pops up to the mat and produces a sly grin before heading up the ramp.
Winner:
Trickster via Kickery Trickery
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The show goes backstage to a small room where Dr. Dean sits across from a fully dressed Decade.
Dr. Dean: Decade, I’m so pleased that you reached out to me for counseling. Indeed, I’ve watched from afar as your alter ego has taken hold of you.
The young handsome wrestler from Ensign, Alberta looks uncomfortable.
Decade: This thing inside of me… I just want it to stop. You saw what I… what it… did to Big Buddha last season, and he was only trying to help me.
Psych Ward’s leader grins to himself.
Dr. Dean: Ah yes, Big Buddha. The problem with his ‘help’ is that it was based on ludicrous Eastern medicine. I’m afraid that with your condition, meditation and prayer aren’t going to do very much.
Decade nods along in agreement.
Dr. Dean: So let me tell you a little bit about my treatment plan for you; it will be a mixture of talk therapy and medication. Very straightforward, very safe, and very effective.
BOO!!!
Decade: How does this work?
Dr. Dean: Firstly, I am going to prescribe you your first dosage of my proprietary medication to take until Gold Strike 23.
Decade: My only concern is with Dr. Garran’s report last year that you were using Strenstrata, that combination of testosterone and psychosis-inducing chemicals. Was that true?
Dr. Dean: Ha! Dr. Garran is a fool who hawks conservative treatment. I have many medicines all designed for different use cases. For you, though, I have a special prescription in mind.
Decade: Okay…
The manipulative physician continues.
Dr. Dean: Anyways, at Gold Strike 23 we’ll have our first talk therapy session before a match that I’ve scheduled for you.
Decade: Match?
The head doctor of the Greater Memphis Psychiatric Institute leans forward.
Dr. Dean: The only way we can tell if you are progressing is for you to enter competition. I’ll personally accompany you to the ring, and we’ll see how much you can remain in control.
The new patient of Dr. Dean shifts in his seat, and the nods in agreement.
Decade: Okay, Dr. Dean… I trust you.
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Gold Strike 22 moves back inside the main arena of FedExForum, and “Helicopter Mack” by Archnemesis begins to play through the massive speaker system. The serious duo of Ryan Rogue and Phaser both walk out with business-like faces.
Rudy Mac: We’ve got tag team titles on the line now, and the FORMER champs are here to get their belts back!
DeShawn: They beat Bounce Squad at Gold Strike 18 and then took down Da Bloodz at Gold Strike 20. That should be enough to get this opportunity!
Rudy Mac: We’ll just forget about the part where they only beat Da Bloodz by disqualification and then suffered an embarrassing whoopin’ after that match!
After Phaser gets into the ring, the lights dim down in the arena and the music switches to “Flying Red” by EOTO.
BOO!!!
The dark, mysterious tag team of Dominar Fyx and Dominar Shaphre emerge onto the entrance stage and walk slowly to the ring while wearing the tag team championship belts around their waists.
Rudy Mac: We might as well call the Dominars for what they are; soldiers of Draconium!
DeShawn: Boots on the ground… from space!
After handing the belts to a production assistant, Dominar Fyx climbs into the ring, and Dominar Shaphre takes his place on the ring apron in the opposite corner from Ryan Rogue. The bell rings and the match begins between Dominar Fyx and Phaser.
Rudy Mac: Tag team title action! Let’s go!
Phaser and Dominar Fyx tie up, and Phaser manages to get the first advantage. He delivers several knees to Dominar Fyx’s stomach and then spins him around into a German suplex pin attempt.
1… 2… NO!!!
Ryan Rogue gets tagged in, and the larger member of Endgame continues to pound on Dominar Fyx. He lifts Dominar Fyx and appears to be attempting a sidewalk slam.
DeShawn: Dominar Fyx might be hitting pavement soon!
Instead, Dominar Fyx gets out of the move and kicks Ryan Rogue in the back directly into the corner of the ring. He tags in his smaller teammate, Dominar Shaphre.
Dominar Shaphre gets to work with a variety of all-around moves and then nails a bulldog. He climbs to the top rope and launches into a moonsault.
ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT!!!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Close call for Endgame!
Ryan Rogue recovers and tags in Phaser, who runs out and meets Dominar Shaphre mid-ring. He quickly wears down the tag team champion and pins him into the mat. He turns Dominar Shaphre onto his stomach and straddles him from on top and then pulls Dominar Shaphre’s head up.
FINAL PHASE!!!
Rudy Mac: Phaser has that signature camel clutch really locked in!
TA… TA… TA… NO!!!
Dominar Shaphre breaks the hold, climbs to his feet and hits Phaser with a kick to the head. He quickly tags in Dominar Fyx, who scoops up the woozy Phaser, and then drills a sitout inverted front powerslam.
INTERDICTION!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: The Dominars! GPW tag team beasts!
BOO!!!
A production assistant hands the tag team championship belts back to The Dominars who meet in the middle of the ring. “Flying Red” by EOTO plays, and a blue effervescent light surrounds them before they completely disappear.
Phaser and Ryan Rogue recollect themselves and head out of the ring.
Winner and STILL Tag Team Champions:
The Dominars via Interdiction
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The show transitions backstage where GPW reporter Vicky Cogliano is standing by with Golden Ben Miller. Her bodyguards, Bounce Squad, stand behind her.
Inside the main arena of FedExForum, the crowd ERUPTS for their everlasting hero. When the cheering subsides, Vicky begins her interview.
Vicky: Hello Golden Pro Wrestling fans! I’m here with the one-and-only Golden Ben Miller!
Another pop of happiness emanates from the fans.
GBM: Thanks for having me, Vicky.
Vicky: The last time we saw you was at the Season 4 finale, Allegiance, where we witnessed you take down Awoke in a Falls County Anywhere match.
Golden Ben Miller smiles in reflection of his victory.
GBM: And a sweet win THAT was! But that was only the end of one chapter in my book… I’m here, ready to write a NEW one!
All the Gold Strike 22 attendees give raucous approval.
Vicky: Most immediately, you are taking on Jumpstart in tonight’s main event for another shot at the Pure Gold Championship. Is that the biggest thing on your mind?
GBM: That’s my number one priority, no doubt. However, there are other things on my mind that I must consider.
Vicky: And what’s that?
GBM: Specifically, it’s Draconium and their IMPRISONMENT of the soul of Flip Costa!
BOO!!!
The proud grandson of GPW owner Golden Glen Miller continues.
GBM: I’m American at heart, and the most important thing to me is freedom. What Draconium has done is nothing short of a war crime against humanity, and I swear to everyone here… before Season 5 is over, Flip Costa will be freed!
The pronouncement sends the Golden Pro Wrestling fans into a tizzy, who cheer wildly from inside the main arena of FedExForum.
Vicky: Like every season, it seems like you have a lot on your plate.
GBM: I wouldn’t have it any other way. Draconium… I’m coming for you… and THAT. IS. GOLDEN!
After delivering his catchphrase, GPW’s reporter attempts to wrap things up.
Vicky: Golden Ben Miller, ladies and-
Suddenly, the lights begin to flicker on the interview set and then go completely out. The silhouettes of Vicky Cogliano and Golden Ben Miller are still recognizable.
A voice begins to speak from seemingly nowhere, and it’s the familiar tone of Draconium’s leader, Queen Solis.
Queen Solis: Golden Ben Miller… Gold Strike 23. Your attendance is required…
The lights come back onto the set where Golden Ben Miller can be now seen with a serious, concerned face.
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The show moves on and the transmission cuts to a backstage hallway where Jumpstart is found walking in street clothes with a gym bag slung over his shoulder.
BOO!!!
The former fan favorite is stopped by a man and woman with a kid probably twelve or thirteen years old. They attempt to get his attention, but Jumpstart keeps walking by.
Dad: Jumpstart! Please! Our son wants to meet you!
Despite the plea, the veteran Canadian wrestler continues his way.
Mom: Please, Jumpstart! He only has months to live!
This causes Jumpstart to pause, and he begrudgingly turns back to the family.
Jumpstart: Alright, you have thirty seconds.
The parents look nervous, but their sickly son’s eyes brighten.
Dad: We’re sorry to bother you, and we know you don’t have much time for the fans anymore… but our kid, Brandon, doesn’t have much time… at all.
Jumpstart eyes the child suspiciously, who is wearing a retro Jumpstart t-shirt that shows his old catchphrase “Awesome From The JUMP!”
Mom: We told Brandon that this wouldn’t work, but the poor kid just won’t give up on you. He keeps telling all of his friends that you’re still the great man he grew up idolizing ever since he found pro wrestling on TV.
Despite his consternation, Jumpstart’s expression appears to soften toward the kid.
Jumpstart: Okay, okay. I’m listening.
The child smiles toward the aging pro wrestler.
Brandon: Like my dad said, I’m pretty sick… and I probably won’t be able to leave the hospital very much after this, but I just had to come and see you again. You’re my favorite, Jumpstart.
A look of inner conflict passes through Jumpstart’s eyes as the kid keeps talking.
Brandon: Everyone keeps telling me to give up on you. That the Jumpstart I loved is gone. But I don’t believe them. All this stuff about cheating isn’t you.
Jumpstart: I am what I am kid. I’m trying to survive, just like you. It’s just… my hinderance is of a different nature. I’ve done what I’ve had to do to stay on top.
The parents both look nervously at each other.
Brandon: I don’t believe that. Just for me, can you try to win tonight’s match clean? I promise I’ll never bother you again.
The aging Canadian competitor looks down and then looks back up with an expression of compassion he hadn’t shown in Golden Pro Wrestling.
Jumpstart: I’ll… see what I can do, kid. Just… keep on fighting.
With a look of relief, the child’s parents place their hands on his shoulders.
Dad: This means the world to Brandon, Jumpstart. Thank you.
Unexpectedly, Jumpstart places his hand on the kid’s head and playfully roughs up his hair before continuing down the hallway. Back inside the arena, the fans buzz at the sudden shift in character by Jumpstart.
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Gold Strike 22 moves back to the main arena of FedExForum, and the crowd awaits the show’s next action.
Rudy Mac: Unbelievable! Maybe Jumpstart still has a heart!
DeShawn: Please tell me that’s real!
“Halo” by Soil suddenly blares through the arena speakers.
BOO!!!
The former Pure Gold Champion, Violence, stomps out from backstage with middle fingers already raised to the crowd.
Rudy Mac: Usually, the underdog competitor in a handicap match is a fan favorite, from a story-telling dynamics perspective. But tonight, it’s a man more hated by Golden Pro Wrestling fans than anyone else!
DeShawn: To h-e-double hockey sticks with story-telling dynamics!
Violence snarls at the fans as he takes his place mid-ring. His music is then replaced with “Get Ready” by 2 Unlimited, and Cory Stenson and Corbin Fiscal walk out from backstage.
Rudy Mac: Cory Stenson and Corbin Fiscal are here to avenge their epic backstage beatdown from Violence at Season 5’s finale, Allegiance!
DeShawn: All I want to know is who will get the win!
Cory Stenson climbs into the ring and approaches Violence with a determined face while Corbin Fiscal takes his place on the ring apron of the far corner.
Rudy Mac: Let’s not forget what happened all the way back at Gold Strike 1 when Violence injured and train wrecked Cory’s first season of pro wrestling!
The bell rings and the match gets underway. Violence takes an early lead right from the start and begins to pound on the taller Cory Stenson. He eventually nails a spinebuster and goes for a quick cover.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: I get the feeling it won’t be Violence’s last pin attempt.
The Asshole From Alberta picks Cory up and throws him headfirst into the turnbuckle next to Corbin Fiscal. Violence dares Corbin to tag in, which GPW’s accountant obliges.
DeShawn: Let’s go, Corbin! Time to cash in on your revenge!
Corbin Fiscal makes a valiant attack but is overwhelmed by Violence’s defense. Violence fends off the attack with a set of vicious punches, and whips Corbin Fiscal off the ropes. When Corbin returns, Violence picks him up and drops him with a second spinebuster.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Violence still seems to have the momentum going for him, and I’m not surprised, to be honest!
Showing an annoyed face, Violence picks up Corbin and again tosses him toward the corner where Cory stands. The former Pure Gold Champion again dares another tag in between the teammates.
Cory tags in, and despite Violence’s confidence, he begins to get the upper hand. The Memphis hometown boy picks Violence up and drills a jumping piledriver.
STENSON DRIVER!!!
Rudy Mac: That might do it!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Cory quickly climbs to his feet and rushes to tag in Corbin. The GPW bookkeeper runs in and grabs the weary Violence into a reverse brainbuster.
THE CASH OUT!!!
1… 2… … NO!!!
DeShawn: What’s going on here!?
Rudy Mac: I believe we are witnessing the resiliency of a man who bested everyone for the Pure Gold Championship in Season 1!
Corbin gets to his feet with a surprised face and then attempts to pick Violence up off the mat. Suddenly, Violence drills Corbin Fiscal with an uppercut. The move stuns Corbin, and Violence then lifts him to his shoulders.
The television transmission becomes blurry and impossible to watch.
THE BLUR OUT!!!
Quality viewing resumes for those watching at home.
DeShawn: OUCH!
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Gah! Violence is STILL a beast!
BOO!!!
Cory Stenson rushes in to check on Corbin but is quickly met with a clothesline which sends Cory toppling over the ropes and onto the ringside mat.
“Halo” by Soil begins to play again, and Violence can be seen laughing and mouthing “it’s too easy” to the camera.
Winner:
Violence via The Blur Out
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The Gold Strike 22 telecast shifts to the FedExForum rear parking lot where a white van sits in a dark parking space outside of any street lighting.
On top of the van is a small satellite dish and several antennas.
Rudy Mac: What’s this all about, DeShawn?
DeShawn: I think I know the ABC boys when I see them!
The rear door of FedExForum opens, and a serious man in a dark blue jacket exits the building. He briskly walks over to the van and the side door opens for him. He briefly looks around and climbs in, and the door shuts behind him.
Rudy Mac: Looks like the FBI isn’t going anywhere! They really want to know what is going on with Draconium!
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The show returns to inside the main arena of FedExForum, and the entire arena is abuzz.
Rudy Mac: We’re getting into it now! Gold Strike 22’s main event is about to get underway between Jumpstart and Golden Ben Miller for a shot at the PURE GOLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
DeShawn: I need this!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s fans POP HUGE when the familiar drum beat of “My Hero” by Foo Fighters lights up the speaker system. As the crowd expresses euphoria, Golden Ben Miller walks out onto the entrance stage.
Rudy Mac: Back in action for the first time in Season 5, Golden Ben Miller is ready to GO!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s War Horse walks down to the ring and continually gives the fans acknowledgment with a stern, proud face. He climbs into the ring and gets onto a turnbuckle and throws one arm up in recognition of the Memphis wrestling crowd.
DeShawn: Let’s file this under ‘things I’ll never get tired of seeing’!
Rudy Mac: Agreed!
The Foo Fighters’ hit song is replaced by Joywave’s “Destruction” and the entire arena turns negative.
BOO!!!
The veteran Canadian wrestler, Jumpstart, walks out from backstage in his signature red and yellow attire. His face looks slightly conflicted with the negative reaction he receives.
Rudy Mac: Well, we all know what kind of rotten man Jumpstart has turned into, so can we really expect him to keep it clean tonight?
DeShawn: He did tell poor little Brandon that he would see what he could do!
Jumpstart gets to the ring and does a quick hop onto the ring apron followed by another hop over the ropes. He lightly jogs around while Golden Ben Miller watches him suspiciously.
Rudy Mac: I have a feeling that ol’ Golden Ben Miller isn’t going to turn his back on Jumpstart for even a second!
The bell rings, and the two wrestlers begin to circle each other.
Rudy Mac: Number one contender match for the Pure Gold Championship is underway!
The action kicks off with Golden Ben Miller rushing Jumpstart, who quickly sidesteps him. The first couple of minutes of the match follow the same theme with Jumpstart evading powerful attacks.
Finally, Golden Ben Miller gets ahold of Jumpstart and drops him with a powerful scoop slam.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Old school kickout after an old school power move!
DeShawn: But one more scoop slam and I don’t know if Jumpstart is walking out of here!
Jumpstart gets back to his feet and begins to claw his way back into the match. He manages to nail a dropkick against GBM’s head and shoots his way to the ropes where he bounces back for a moonsault.
DeShawn: Say what you will, but Jumpstart can still fly!
1… 2… NO!!!
The match continues, and the two trade moves back and forth. But for each power move the Golden Warhorse can hit, Jumpstart is able to counter with something quick and deft.
Rudy Mac: This seems pretty even so far!
Golden Ben Miller whips Jumpstart off the ropes, but when Jumpstart returns, he slides through GBM’s legs.
DeShawn: Watch out, Ben!
Rudy Mac: This is right where Jumpstart likes to hit the low blow!
Indeed, Jumpstart kneels and prepares to thrust his arms up between Golden Ben Miller’s legs from behind but suddenly stops the motion of his arm.
Jumpstart gets back to his feet in time for GBM to finally turn around with a surprised face.
Rudy Mac: What’s going on here!? Me, you, the fans and even Golden Ben Miller were expecting a low blow!
Golden Ben Miller takes a moment to recognize that Jumpstart just fended off his impulse to cheat and then takes a step back to square up again.
As the match continues, Jumpstart can be seen waring out and limping from his oft-injured knee.
DeShawn: All Golden Ben Miller needs to do is drag this match out and Jumpstart is TOAST!
Sensing that he needs to try and end it quickly, Jumpstart flies at Golden Ben Miller and delivers a picture-perfect huracurrana. Instead of going for the pin attempt, he runs to the corner and scales to the top rope.
Rudy Mac: Injury or not, we know this shooting star press won’t disappoint!
Jumpstart leaps out into the air and delivers his finisher.
THE START-UP!!!
Gold Strike 22’s attendees nervously watch the referee count for the pin.
1… … 2… … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Golden Ben Miller isn’t going out quiet!
Jumpstart gets to his feet with a look of frustration and exhaustion, and he waits for Golden Ben Miller to get up as well. Jumpstart lunges forward but is caught by GBM once again, who picks him up and nails another mid-ring scoop slam.
DeShawn: Is this it!? The most illustrious move in all sport entertainment!?
The crowd begins to buzz as Golden Ben Miller stands over Jumpstart’s body and removes his knee pad, which he whips into the crowd. A hand-held camera shows a mob of fans fighting over the sweaty souvenir.
Rudy Mac: I think so, DeShawn! Buckle up!
Golden Ben Miller runs to the ropes and then runs back across Jumpstart’s prone body. After bouncing off the far ropes, GBM arrives mid-ring and jumps into the air above Jumpstart.
THE GOLDEN KNEE!!!
Rudy Mac and DeShawn: YES!
1… … 2… … … NO!!!
Rudy Mac and DeShawn: NO!
Golden Ben Miller looks shocked that Jumpstart kicked out but regroups and picks Jumpstart up to keep the attack going. Jumpstart manages to regain some composure and fights back against GBM with everything his hand.
However, with a little too much gusto, Jumpstart misses a spear attempt and goes flying through the ropes and out of the ring.
Rudy Mac: Too much sauce on that taco!
Golden Ben Miller takes a moment to catch his breath while the referee leans over the ropes to check on Jumpstart. With the referee distracted, someone begins to run out onto the entrance stage and down toward the ring.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: It’s Violence! What’s Violence doing out here!?
Violence climbs into the ring and clobbers Golden Ben Miller from behind. While the referee is still completely unaware, Violence picks GBM up onto his shoulders, which prompts the television feed to go unviewable.
THE BLUR OUT!!!
Rudy Mac: HOGWASH!
BOO!!!
After the television transmission comes back into regular focus, The Asshole From Alberta quickly exits the ring, and Jumpstart groggily climbs back in.
Now on his feet, Jumpstart looks confused by the fact that Golden Ben Miller is laid out unconscious in the middle of the ring but still goes for the cover.
1… … 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: What in God’s beautiful bosom was that!?
DeShawn: Why did Violence just help Jumpstart!?
BOO!!!
“Destruction” by Joywave begins to play again and Jumpstart gets to his feet with a look of confusion at how the match ended.
Winner and Pure Gold Championship Number One Contender:
Jumpstart via aid from Violence
anchor
The former hated Pure Gold Champion walks backward up the ramp, talking and sneering down to the ring. The camera picks up some of the words.
Violence: No problem, Jumpstart. Happy to do it. All you had to do was ask!
BOO!!!
The Asshole From Alberta turns and leaves the main arena of FedExForum.
Rudy Mac: Hogwash! It looks like Jumpstart was colluding with Violence!
DeShawn: Jumpstart may not have cheated in the ring, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t win through some BS!
After Violence returns backstage, Golden Ben Miller wearily gets to his feet and spins Jumpstart around.
Rudy Mac: And GBM is NOT happy!
Jumpstart begins to take a few steps back and holds his palms out forward to try to diffuse the situation.
A production assistant voluntarily tosses in a microphone, which GBM picks up while Jumpstart’s theme music fades out.
Golden Ben Miller shakes his head in disappointment.
GBM: What in HELL is wrong with you!?
Jumpstart’s eyes go wide, and he shakes his head in denial while Golden Ben Miller waves his hand outward to all the fans.
GBM: These people used to LOVE you! And if you couldn’t bring yourself to deliver one of your low blows, you go EVEN LOWER! You bring in Violence to do your dirty work!?
With a look of disbelief, Jumpstart turns and hops over the ropes and directly onto the ringside mat before walking up the ramp away from the ring. GBM drops the microphone and “Destruction” by Joywave begins to play once more.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: That’s all for Gold Strike 22! Tune in next time when Jumpstart will be in his THIRD STRAIGHT main event, this time for the Pure Gold Championship against Shotcaller. Good night!
The Golden Warhorse watches Jumpstart walk away with a contemptuous glare, and the show fades to black…
All illustrations from the talented David G.