“Alright, buddy, roll down your window,” Awoke commanded to the man in driving the RAV4.

It wasn’t as cold as it was back in the winter, but that didn’t matter to Awoke who was now in Month 4 of his protection for Minneapolis’ illegal immigrant population.

Indeed, Awoke had made his way north at the first signs of ICE’s surge within the Twin Cities. There was no way that fascists were going to enforce the law on his watch because he considered the illegal immigrant population to be completely immune from any and all laws.

The man behind the driver’s window of the RAV4 rolled it down and looked up helplessly at the blue-haired oaf. Other anti-ICE protestors blocked the car from the front with their assorted hair colors and slammed their hands on the hood repeatedly.

“Who are you, and where are you going!?” Awoke asked.

“Um.. I’m Bernard Smith, I’m a local orthodontist,” the man replied.

“Orthodontist!?” the San Francisco SJW scoffed. “EXACTLY WHAT AN ICE AGENT WOULD SAY! Get out of the car!”

Awoke reached in and unlocked the car, opened the door and began to pull the man out by his neck.

“Please! Didn’t the ICE surge already end!?” screamed the man.

“Exactly what an ICE agent would say!” Awoke yelled back.

After forcing the man to his knees, Awoke held his hand out expectedly for a wallet. In a matter of moments, the man had handed over his ID, which Golden Pro Wrestling’s social justice warrior inspected with a furrowed brow.

“Bernard Smith… this is EXACTLY the kind of fake ID an ICE agent would use!”

As Awoke began to rain down blows upon the innocent orthodontist, the blue-haired oaf sighed to himself. He knew that he would have to leave soon and compete in Golden Pro Wrestling’s Season 6.

He had ended Season 5 by defeating a trans man, and thus (according to him) nullified the theory that trans athletes had any sort of inherent advantage.

Of course, he was oblivious to the fact that those who opposed trans athletes were primarily referring to the trans women who had a distinct developmental superiority vs. biological women.

Awoke then picked up the orthodontist and threw him back in his car.

“Turn this ICE vehicle around and get out of Minnesota!”

The bloodied and woozy man put his car in reverse and pivoted away from the anti-ICE checkpoint.

While his fellow protestors came up to pat him on the back and congratulate him on another successful interdiction, Awoke looked down sadly.

“What’s the matter, Awoke?”

“You just saved our neighbors from federal accountability!”

“Doesn’t that make you happy?”

“It does… it does…” he softly replied. “But I must go now. For there is an illegal, I mean totally legitimate person, that works for my employer. His name is Ejercito de Juan, and I’m the only person who can protect him from the fascists.”