He survived a trip through the cosmos. He defeated an alien beast at Gold Strike 20. He saved planet Earth from ANNIHILATION! He even bested Fuse Makoto one-on-one!
Now Flip Costa has the opportunity to complete his journey with the Pure Gold Championship!
Elsewhere at Gold Strike 28, a musical and wrestling debut comes for GPW’s newest competitor, “The Headliner” Steve Rose!
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Golden Pro Wrestling theme song “The Sound” by Switchfoot begins to play…
THIS!
IS!
GOLDEN!
PRO!
WRESTLING!
The camera fades into the FedExForum where thousands of fans have already filled into their seats on the floor, and every level within the entire arena!
The camera pans the arena and fans, providing shots of the ring, ramp, intro stage and Gold Screen.
The broadcast transitions to a two-shot of Golden Pro Wrestling’s announcer team.
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Rudy Mac: Welcome BACK to Golden Pro Wrestling for Gold Strike 28! I’m Rudy Mac, your Memphis rasslin’ expert, and sitting next to me is the inspiration for the local DeShawn’s Law, which gives women an automatic restraining order from birth against him, DeShawn Brannon!
DeShawn: Hey hey hey!
Rudy Mac: I can’t believe it but we’re already into mid-season for Golden Pro Wrestling’s SEASON 6! This is the time of the season that we’ve figured out what’s going on and now we get to find out who’s going where!
DeShawn: I don’t actually need to be here to learn that, Rudy. I’m just going to use my new power of telepathy to see into the future.
Rudy Mac: I’ll play along! What do you see, DeShawn!?
Golden Pro Wrestling’s color commentator closes his eyes and rubs his temples apparently falling into a trance.
DeShawn: First, I see a young blonde woman falling madly in love with me!
Rudy Mac: What!?
DeShawn: Next, I see YOU being upset about it!
Rudy Mac: This doesn’t make any sense! Let’s move on!
DeShawn: Finally, I see you wanting to talk about what’s going to happen tonight!
Rudy Mac: This is enough! Get back to normal and pay attention!
The failed former comedian opens his eyes and acts startled.
DeShawn: What just happened, Rudy!?
Rudy Mac: This bit is OVER! Anyways, it’s time to opine on Season Six’s progress! If we’re going to start anywhere, it has to be the magnificent return of Flip Costa, and his MASSIVE opportunity to put a stamp on his beautiful, magnanimous, lustrous, confusingly arousing Golden Pro Wrestling career!
DeShawn: If he takes out Shotcaller, I’m going to order that Flip Costa blow-up doll!
Rudy Mac: Understandable! But as for tonight, I just hope we don’t see that jerk Violence try to mess things up like he did at Gold Strike 27!
DeShawn: I wouldn’t be surprised!
Rudy Mac: Beyond Flip vs. Shotcaller, we also have compelling plot points all over the lineup! Golden Ben Miller keeps his name in the game for the Pure Gold Championship, and Fuse Makoto appears to have drawn the attention of the Draconian.
DeShawn: I know what that’s like! Run, Fuse!
Rudy Mac: We’ve also got Awoke blundering his way into an international incident with Ejercito de Juan!
DeShawn: I hope Parker has his legal documentation in order!
Rudy Mac: And we HAVE to call out that there is a NEW formal group in Golden Pro Wreslting… POWER PLAY!
DeShawn: King Crab Mack, Raft Daddy and Crosscheck Beck!? Let’s do hockey!
Rudy Mac: DeShawn! That is a terrible callback to a lame Saturday Night Live skit which egregiously poked fun at the lack of diversity and African American participation in hockey!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s commentator clears his throat and speaks in a serious manner.
DeShawn: Actually, Rudy, that’s a great topic to explore. You see, the high cost of hockey prohibits low-income families from partaking in the great sport, which opens the topic up to jesting. Can I continue, or is this derailing the exciting opening dialogue we’re contractually obligated to deliver?
Rudy Mac: It’s not all that often we get serious about something here at Golden Pro Wrestling, but I’m willing to take a break for this one!
DeShawn: Thank you, Rudy. You see, in reality, America and Canada should invest in making the sport available to all, which will help ensure more of this generation’s youth can discover and benefit from all of the invaluable life lessons that this team sport has to offer.
The esteemed play-by-play announcer, Rudy McClintock, holds a finger up to his headphones as if getting instructions.
Rudy Mac: I’d love to keep exploring this, but I’m being told by production that we have to get back to the show!
DeShawn: Okay!
Rudy Mac: All that being said, Season Six has all the potential to be a classic! And that’s enough from us, now let’s send it to the office of Golden Pro Wrestling’s commissioner, Parker Meloche!
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Gold Strike 28 makes its first transition backstage to the professional office of Golden Pro Wrestling Commissioner Parker Meloche. The crowd gives an excited cheer for the promotion’s steward.
Parker: Memphis, WHAT IS UP!?
Another pop of cheering can be heard from inside the main arena of FedExForum.
Parker: It’s wild to think that we’re already into the meat of Golden Pro Wrestling Season Six! I’ll admit, sometimes even for me, things just get too out of hand! Have you seen what I’ve been dealing with!?
The crowd laughs.
Parker: I have aliens of all types, including legal, illegal, and COSMIC!
The GPW Commissioner takes a second to pause while the arena enjoys the absurd observation.
Parker: I have a doctor operating a completely legal work-release program with his inmat-… patients… on my roster! Last show, I had a gorgeous, galactic journeyman and a young Japanese phenom pull off an INSTANT CLASSIC! Each week just seems to be something I DID NOT SEE COMING!
The fans inside the main arena of FedExForum pop big in agreement.
Parker: But that all being said… it’s time I give you the entire rundown of what’s left in Season 6… NOT! When I started this season, I had an idea of who was going to show up ready to rock, what kind of big matches we’d be starting off with… but I think I’m going to take a NEW approach for the rest of Season Six!
The young Canadian businessman takes a deep inhale and then exhales with a satisfied face.
Parker: See that? That’s what I’m letting this season do… BREATHE! Of course, there’s a PURE GOLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH… TONIGHT!
The crowd bursts out wildly in anticipation.
Parker: After that? I’m going to book the matches I feel work best to keep the title chases alive, but I’m not going to start dictating or instigating ANYTHING. If someone wants something special for a matchup, then they can come to see me and ask… I actually just got done negotiating with one wrestler and I can’t wait for you to find out. The only problem is, he demanded that I let him announce it himself.
Commissioner Meloche smiles into the camera.
Parker: This part of each season might just be my favorite! I threw together a roster of wildcards, power houses, surprises, and dark horses, and now WE get to enjoy the chaos as it barrels down to the Season 6 finale, Blood And Bling!
Before the scene can end, a knock can be heard on his office door. Parker turns his head and yells at the door.
Parker: Yes, come in!
The door cracks open, and the masked face of Ejercito de Juan sticks its head in.
Parker: Yes, Juan! Come in!
The luchador enters and stands at Parker’s desk silently.
Parker: This is going to be difficult to talk about, Juan, but I’ve gotten contacted by the Immigration and Customs Enforcement, and well, it’s not good…
Ejercito de Juan put his hands on his hips in concern but says nothing in return.
Parker: I told them you were a legal, documented immigrant, and that I have a work visa for you, but I don’t think they believed me. If they ask for one, I won’t have anything to show them and they could snatch you up.
The wrestler from Tijuana, Mexico looks down and shake his masked head with concern.
Parker: I’ll see what I can do to keep them away, but you might want to figure out something with Awoke. If he keeps opening his big mouth, he’s going to get you deported!
After a moment, Ejercito de Juan turns his head as if in thought before looking straight at Parker. He gives the GPW leader a silent nod, turns and leaves the office.
The young Canadian businessman looks back into the camera.
Parker: Okay… NOW I’m going to start letting Season Six run its course!
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The show moves to the backstage interview area where Vicky Cogliano is flanked by her protectors, Bounce Squad. Standing next to her is the tag team known as Your Captains.
BOO!!!
The GPW reporter keeps a professional face and turns to the two jackass United Airline pilots.
Vicky: Capt. John Cunningham and Capt. Derek McDonnell, thank you so much for joining us!
Capt. John: Vicky, the pleasure is ALL OURS!
Capt. Derek: If you know what we mean!
BOO!!!
Bounce Squad takes a step forward to remind Your Captains to be gentlemen but Capt. John waves them back cautiously.
Capt. John: Whoa, whoa. All good there, big fellas. We didn’t really mean anything by it.
Capt. Derek: Yeah, guys. Jeez, everyone is always on our case about…
The airline captain uses his fingers to make air quotes as he continues speaking.
Capt. Derek: …not being “funny,” or “respectful,” or “serious in any manner.”
Capt. John: I think everyone has the wrong idea about us! We’re just messing around!
Capt. Derek: No harm, no foul! Sure, most of what we say is to entertain ourselves, but can we just call a truce!?
Capt. John: A ceasefire on the booing and hostility? It’s like SHEESH!
Vicky: Does this mean that you guys are trying to change your image and connect with the fans?
Capt. John: Hey, if the fans can’t take a little gag every once in a while, we can’t do anything about that.
Capt. Derek: BUT if they’re willing to let a little crass humor go, then we PROMISE to show up and deliver the goods EVERY. SINGLE. MATCH!
A surprisingly raucous cheer springs up from inside FedExForum, and Your Captains smile at each other.
Vicky: One last question before your match against Endgame, rumor has it that you are now flying for United Airlines?
Capt. Derek: That’s right Vicky. If you’re ever interested in taking off, come ride the friendly guys!
The fans laugh and Vicky rolls her eyes and shakes her head with a chuckle. Even Bounce Squad could be seen with a smirk at the joke.
Your Captains high five each other and leave the interview, and the GPW reporter smiles toward the camera.
Vicky: Your Captains, ladies and gentlemen! And before I turn it back over to Rudy and DeShawn, I want to inform you that I will be having a VERY special interview tonight before the main event…
Gold Strike 28’s attendees buzz in curiosity.
Vicky: I will be conducting an EXCLUSIVE sit-down interview with THE DRACONIAN ON HIS SPACESHIP!
FedExForum comes alive with the cheering in anticipation.
Vicky: See you right before tonight’s main event!
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Gold Strike 28 returns back inside the main arena of FedExForum.
Rudy Mac: DeShawn! Where do we even start!?
DeShawn: I can’t believe that ICE is investigating Vicky Cogliano!
Rudy Mac: No, you have it all wrong! Firstly, ICE is investigating Ejercito de Juan!
DeShawn: Ah yeah. Screw you, Awoke!
Rudy Mac: AND Your Captains seem to be wanting to mellow things out with the fans! I gotta say, I like it!
DeShawn: I always knew their humor was underappreciated!
Rudy Mac: Well, we don’t have to wait long to see how that talk translates to the ring!
The music of “Helicopter Mack” by Archnemesis begins to play, and the fans give a lukewarm reaction for Phaser and Ryan Rogue when they walk out from backstage.
Rudy Mac: Sort of mixed results with Endgame these days. They once were the measuring stick of the tag team division as first-ever champions, but they’ve actually only won ONE match since Gold Strike 8!
DeShawn: That’s as long as my cold streak with the ladies!
Phaser climbs into the ring and jogs around lightly. Ryan Rogue takes his spot on the corner ropes and uses them to stretch his large frame.
The music switches to “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins, which draws a lively cheer. Capt. John and Capt. Derek subsequently walk out from backstage.
Rudy Mac: So far, so good! But did you know that Your Captains are actually only 2-6 all time in GPW tag team matches?
DeShawn: Okay, Mr. Know It All!
Capt. Derek gets into the ring first and sizes up Phaser, he gives a look back to Capt. John and mimes a sleeping face.
Rudy Mac: I do believe they are making fun of Phaser for being boring!
DeShawn: I love it!
The match starts off with Capt. Derek and Phaser going toe-to-toe utilizing various moves. Capt. Derek gets the first edge and surprises Phaser with a sublime tornado DDT.
Rudy Mac: New move from Capt. Derek!
1… 2… NO!!!
Capt. Derek tags in his co-pilot, Capt. John, and the match continues. Capt. John uses a little more strength rather than acrobatics and delivers a MASSIVE pumphandle slam to Phaser.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: Jeez, I don’t recall ever seeing this version of Your Captains before!?
Rudy Mac: That’s because this is a NEW LOOK!
Phaser manages to escape Capt. John and tag in Ryan Rogue, who wastes no time taking over control.
Rudy Mac: If Ryan Rogue went singles, he could be an absolute PROBLEM!
Ryan Rogue lifts Capt. John up and plants him with a full-nelson DDT.
ROGUE DDT!!!
DeShawn: That’s GOTTA sting… like my pee!
1… 2… … NO!!!
After the kickout, Ryan Rogue gets visibly frustrated and impatiently throws Capt. John at the ropes. The United Airlines pilot flies back at Ryan Rogue and delivers a spear.
Rudy Mac: Hoo boy!
Capt. John then climbs up to the top rope and leaps out for a dazzling 360 frog splash.
THE RED EYE!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Another nice win by Your Captains! What’s going on here!?
DeShawn: Fasten your seatbelts!
Capt. Derek and Capt. John meet mid-ring and high five with maximum gusto while the fans cheer them on.
Winners:
Your Captains via The Red Eye
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Once Endgame and Your Captains fully return backstage, the show’s transmission moves behind the Gold Screen where wrestlers are waiting by for their part of the show.
Most noticeable are the members of Psych Ward including Dr. Dean, the Orderlies and an unrestrained Sicko.
BOO!!!
The group looks relatively relaxed, as if they had done this plenty of times. Dr. Dean even takes notice of this fact.
Dr. Dean: I must say, gentlemen, I am so pleased with how the four of us operate now. Caruso, Summers, your stoic demeanor provides the calm in which Sicko can channel his darkest thoughts.
The Orderlies look back at Dr. Dean and nod with clenched jaws, and then they return their attention to Sicko.
Dr. Dean: And my dear, Sicko. You cause no fuss for us! And I do believe that we have a mutual understanding now. I provide the care while you provide the results and love every second of it.
With a series of popping sounds, Sicko turns his head back nearly 180 degrees to stare at Dr. Dean. Sicko’s grotesque movement and subsequent stare unnerves the physician momentarily. Accompanying another set of popping sounds, the mental patient turns his head and stares straight back forward.
The head physician of the Greater Memphis Psychiatric Institute acts as if a lightbulb went off in his head.
Dr. Dean: And yes! We mustn’t forget our Strenstrata, Sicko! Yes, yes, it’s illegal in most of the country and all that… but you are at your peak physical and mental potential because of this!
The doctor pulls out a pill container and takes one out. He holds out his hand to give the medicine to Sicko but then pulls it back slowly as if thinking twice about the prospect of Sicko biting his hand.
Dr. Dean taps on Orderly Caruso’s arm and gives him the pill to administer Sicko.
The large orderly takes the pill and fearlessly holds it up to Sicko’s mouth with an open palm. Without looking at the pill, Sicko leans forward and captures the pill off Orderly Caruso’s hand with his tongue. He then swallows it without any water.
The physician looks relieved and returns behind Sicko. He slyly takes a Strenstrata pill out of the bottle and puts it into his own mouth before chewing it up and aggressively swallowing it down.
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The transmission returns to Rudy Mac and DeShawn inside the main arena of FedExForum.
Rudy Mac: Did you see that, DeShawn!?
DeShawn: I certainly did! Sicko just licked a pill off of Orderly Caruso’s HAND!
Rudy Mac: Not that! I saw Dr. Dean popping one of his bull-testosterone pills that he administers to his patients!
DeShawn: Oh, that? Nothing wrong with a man enjoying his pills!
Suddenly, “Bottom of a Bottle” by Smile Empty Soul hits the speaker system and the crowd gives a LOUD pop for their favorite hockey enforcer. The large man in the Bears hockey jersey comes jogging out from backstage with a hockey stick in one hand and a beer in another.
Rudy Mac: Crosscheck Beck is here and I bet he wants the Hardcore Championship title like no other!
DeShawn: I heard that he’s been playing some beer league hockey with King Crab Mack and Raft Daddy!
Crosscheck Beck lifts the beer can and guzzles it down on the entrance stage before making his way to the ring. He climbs in and waits for his opponent.
The lights dim, and the darkened song of “Deadman” by Karnivool emanates into the arena.
BOO!!!
Sicko, followed by Dr. Dean and the Orderlies, slowly make their way out and down the ramp toward the ring. The green strobing lights bounce off of Sicko’s Golden Pro Wrestling Hardcore Championship belt strapped around his waist.
Rudy Mac: Sicko already has two successful title defenses under his belt. One more and he ties King Crab Mack for longest reign of terror!
DeShawn: As long as it’s not Reject, I’m good with that!
Orderly Summers unstraps the beaten-up belt off of Sicko’s waist and Sicko ascends to the awaiting Crosscheck Beck. Dr. Dean and the Orderlies stand off to the side of the ring. The lights come back up to normal.
Rudy Mac: DeShawn, you down for a little hardcore action!?
DeShawn: Rudy, I thought you’d never ask!
Rudy Mac: DeShawn, no! Not like that!
The bell rings to start the beginning of the GPW Hardcore Championship match, but it doesn’t come with fireworks. Sicko simply walks up to Crosscheck Beck without any emotion and even allows Beck to take a swing of his hockey stick.
Crosscheck Beck’s stick snaps over Sicko’s arm, and the hardcore champ doesn’t even flinch.
Rudy Mac: Good god!
The former hockey enforcer looks surprised.
DeShawn: Okay, I’m sold! Get me a script of that Strenstrata, even if it’s just for the bedroom!
Sicko begins his emotionless attack by rushing Crosscheck Beck and pummeling him down. The maniacal doctor yells in from ringside.
Dr. Dean: Yes, yes! Good on you, my boy!
The deranged mental patient takes firm control of the match and gets Crosscheck Beck on to the mat. He grabs hold of a broken hockey stick and begins to beat down on the hockey player.
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!
Rudy Mac: That’s gotta be two minutes, easy!
Sicko lifts Crosscheck Beck up and whips him into the corner, which absorbs Beck back-first with a thud. Sicko runs in quickly and delivers a back elbow to the face and a hockey stick across his gut.
DeShawn: DeShawn no likey!
1… 2… NO!!!
Within a couple of more minutes, Crosscheck Beck gets back to full strength and begins to take control. He throws Sicko out of the ring and follows him down to the ringside mat. Dr. Dean watches as Crosscheck Beck lifts Sicko above his head and lets him fall down face-first on the stairs.
Rudy Mac: That’s COLD HARD STEEL!
Crosscheck Beck lifts Sicko up once more and delivers a JARRING jumping vertical suplex.
MAJOR PENALTY!!!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Nope, not enough to win the belt!
The two competitors get back to their feet, and Sicko starts to overwhelm Crosscheck Beck. After dazing Beck with an uppercut, Sicko pulls a chair and a broken lamp out from under the ring. He sets up the chair next to the lamp on the ground.
Rudy Mac: What sort of spot is Sicko planning!?
DeShawn: I don’t know, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen a lamp involved before!
Sicko stands on the chair and pulls Crosscheck Beck’s head between his legs. He lifts the former hockey enforcer and delivers a jumping full-nelson facebuster onto the lamp, which shatters it into pieces.
THE LOOSE SCREW ONTO A LAMP!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Another solid title defense by Sicko!
DeShawn: I love lamp!
Dr. Dean and the Orderlies swarm around Sicko, and the mental patient has the GPW Hardcore Championship belt strapped back around his waist.
Winner and STILL GPW Hardcore Champion:
Sicko via The Loose Screw onto a lamp
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Following the wrap-up of the Hardcore Championship match, the Golden Pro Wrestling production crew hurriedly began setting up musical equipment on the stage. Rather than a full set of drums and multiple performer spots, they mostly put together one microphone, and one power cable connected to an electric guitar.
Rudy Mac: We are in for a REAL treat tonight!
DeShawn: Did they bring back post-show donuts!?
Rudy Mac: No! I’m talking about Golden Pro Wrestling’s FIRST musical performance!
DeShawn: Suck it, Nashville! Memphis is where the best sounds are made!
Rudy Mac: That’s right! Commissioner Meloche has signed a new wrestler, “The Headliner” Steve Rose, who doubles as an exciting up-and-coming musician! He’ll be giving the fans a taste of his new album and then making his in-ring debut against Cory Stenson right after!
The fans buzz amongst themselves, and the lights lower causing an excited hush across the crowd. Then they give a loud cheer when a man in a leather jacket and sporting voluminous blond hair emerges from backstage.
Rudy Mac: “The Headliner” Steve Rose is here!
He picks up the guitar, and the spotlight highlights not just the wrestler, but what a spectacle this moment is.
Steve Rose: Hellloooooo Memphis!
The arena gives a huge pop.
Steve Rose: I can’t tell you how excited I am to be here. Not just to kick butts, but to give you all the most rockin’, most ragin’, most dynamite music in TENNESSEE!
Everyone in the crowd politely continues to cheer, and then everything quiets down as background music builds up. Steve Rose nods his head back and forth and looks down at his guitar, obviously concentrating on placing his fingers on the right strings.
At the wrong moment, he attempts to play the guitar but only a jumbled, crushed chord jams through the speaker system. Everyone in the crowd begins talking to themselves.
Rudy Mac: Just some jitters! I’m sure he’ll clean that up!
The Headliner continues to crudely pluck away at different strings on his guitar, but none makes a true musical note. The crowd is no longer politely silent, rather they are distractedly talking to themselves as Steve Rose beings to sing.
Steve Rose: I was walllllking all alone!!!
The shrill voice of the Headliner causes sharp, ear-ringing feedback through the speaker system. The entirety of the arena covers their ears, but Steve Rose continues.
Steve Rose: And I fouuuund a hot girl!!!
The vocals don’t get any better, and the speaker feedback makes it impossible for anyone to hear anything else.
Rudy Mac: DeShawn, make it stop!
DeShawn: What!?
Rudy Mac: I said, DeShawn, make it stop!
DeShawn: What!?
The Headliner keeps going.
Steve Rose: And she wannnted to bone!!!
The crowd finally provides the only correct response.
BOO!!!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s newest performer looks surprised at the reaction but keeps trying to play his song.
Steve Rose: I checked her claaammm for a pearl!
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: I can’t take this anymore!
Perturbed by the booing, Steve Rose stops playing and the background music fades out, which prompts a WILD CHEER from everyone in FedExForum. Steve Rose speaks into the microphone with a confused and agitated voice.
Steve Rose: Is there something wrong with the sound system!? GPW production crew, can you check that out? I’ll stand by, everyone!
BOO!!!
Steve Rose: Wait, are all of you booing… my music!?
The fans burst into a chant to answer his question.
YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
DeShawn: The people HAVE SPOKEN!
Steve Rose: Surely you mean the production crew for engineering such a poor musical set up!?
IT’S THE MUSIC! IT’S THE MUSIC! IT’S THE MUSIC!
Rudy Mac: What an awfully specific, well-rounded, impromptu chant for nearly twenty thousand individuals!
Steve Rose: Oh, I get it! You’re just like all the clowns in Nashville! MY MUSIC DOES NOT SUCK! YOUUUU SUCKKK!
BOO!!!
The Headliner angrily throws down his electric guitar while the lights return to normal and he heads down to the ring for his match.
Rudy Mac: Thank god that’s over!
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After the Headliner climbs angrily into the ring, “Get Ready” by 2 Unlimited energizes the arena, and the large Cory Stenson walks out onto the entrance stage.
Rudy Mac: Local boy Cory Stenson is back in action, and the GPW fans can’t be happier to see him!
DeShawn: He’s come a long way since he was an innocent rookie in Season 1!
Cory Stenson walks down the ramp and climbs the stairs and enters the ring. Steve Rose is distracted by the one-off jeers from ringside fans.
Rudy Mac: This could be a long night for the Headliner!
The bell rings and the match commences with Cory Stenson and Steve Rose sizing each other up face-to-face. The Headliner makes the first move and bounces off the ropes, and when he comes back to mid-ring for a shoulder block, he ricochets off Cory Stenson and onto the mat.
DeShawn: He better hope his wrestling is better than his guitar playing!
The first couple minutes of the match are back-and-forth, but it’s obvious that Cory Stenson is on top of his game. He lifts Steve Rose up and drops him with a sidewalk slam.
1… 2… NO!!!
Steve Rose gets the next leg up, and drills Cory Stenson with a running cross-body block.
Rudy Mac: I don’t think the commissioner would have signed Steve Rose if he was an all-around slouch!
1… 2… NO!!!
The Headliner continues his attack and pulls Cory over to the corner of the ring and begins to slam his knee into the post.
BOO!!!
DeShawn: Cory “kneeds” to fight back!
Rudy Mac: How many kids do you have, DeShawn!?
DeShawn: A baker’s dozen!
Rudy Mac: That explains the dad joke!
After brutalizing Cory Stenson’s knee, Steve Rose strains and pulls his opponent up to the top rope.
Rudy Mac: We might feel some shaking in the building!
The Headliner lifts Cory Stenson up and falls backwards to deliver a RING SHAKING superplex.
1… 2… … NO!!!
DeShawn: It’s that sort of resilience that defines Memphis, which I can then inherit into my own self-image and build self-esteem!
The fans cheer on as Cory Stenson gets to his feet and begins to fight back. He levels Steve Rose with a clothesline and then drops a powerful leg across the Headliner’s chest.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: What a surprisingly even affair! Steve Rose is going move-for-move with the former Silver Champion, Cory Stenson!
Steve Rose gets the next advantage and lifts the big man up for a 360 spinebuster.
THE POWER CHORD!!!
Rudy Mac: Such strength from the new guy!
1… 2… … … NO!!!
The Headliner gets up and screams at the referee for counting too slow.
Steve Rose: That was uneven cadence! It goes one bop bop, 2 bop bop, THREE BOP BOP!
Distracted, the Headliner but doesn’t see Cory Stenson standing up behind him. When Steve Rose turns around, he’s kicked in the stomach by Cory and then lifted up into a jumping piledriver.
STENSON DRIVER!!!
Rudy Mac: That ought to do it!
1… 2… … 3!!!
DeShawn: That DID do it!
The Gold Strike 28 attendees pop loudly for the local boy’s victory, and the referee raises his arm up as the winner.
Winner:
Cory Stenson via Stenson Driver
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A handheld camera follows Steve Rose up the ramp and into backstage where Golden Pro Wrestling Commissioner Parker Meloche is talking with a couple of production assistants.
Parker: You two are doing great work. With everything you have going on, I know you’ve been stretched extremely thin. Don’t worry, re-enforcements are coming. I have a new PA joining us here soon and she’ll be able to help us focus attention on quality rather than quantity soo-
The commissioner is cut off as Steve Jobs angrily steps in front of Parker’s face.
Steve Rose: Hey bro! How could you do that to me!?
The young Canadian businessman gets a confused face.
Parker: Excuse me? All I did was give you a shot, but it was you who bombed.
Steve Rose: Those speakers weren’t set up right! My guitar wasn’t tuned! You applied auto-tune to my voice! Of course I bombed!
Golden Pro Wrestling’s commissioner looked over to his production assistants as if to ask if there were any issues with setup. Both shrugged their shoulders as if not knowing what Steve Rose was talking about.
Parker: That’s impossible. We hired the best people to do the technical setting up of a musical performance.
Steve Rose: Ah, that’s it. You guys have no idea what you’re doing! Listen, I’m going to do all my own setup of the speakers, guitar and audio mixing, and then we’ll show those Memphis wrestling fans a ROCKING time!
The young Canadian businessman thought carefully to himself before looking Steve Rose straight in the eye with a smile.
Parker: Actually, I think that’s a great idea. I’ll give you a spot at Gold Strike 30, so make sure you bring your best song!
The failing rocker smiles confidently.
Steve Rose: Booya!
Parker watches as “The Headliner” Steve Rose walks away singing some song to himself with two “rocking” hand gestures.
violencekcm
Gold Strike 28’s transmission returns inside the main arena of FedExForum where “Halo” by Soil begins to blast through the speaker system.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Always the worst part of my day when I see him!
DeShawn: The worst part of my day is when I wake up!
Rudy Mac: DeShawn! I didn’t know you were struggling with mental health!
DeShawn: I just mean that I HATE alarm clicks!
Rudy Mac: Stop getting me worked up!
Violence marches down to the ring with two middle fingers extended outward to each side of him. The fans relentlessly jeer the former Pure Gold Champion.
BOO!!!
Once in the ring, the music switches over to the iconic intro chords of “Slit Wrist Theory” by 36 Crazyfists. The fans POP loudly when the Bering Sea Badass appears on the entrance stage.
Rudy Mac: King Crab MACK is here and ready to make a statement!
DeShawn: A win over Violence could really propel him to upper card status!
The big gruff man walks down the entrance ramp and gets into the ring with Violence, who casually glares at his opponent.
Rudy Mac: Two big boys are about to GET IT ON!
The bell rings and the crowd pops for the start of a match with high potential for big power moves. They aren’t disappointed when Violence whips King Crab Mack to the ropes and delivers a thunderous spinebuster upon return.
1… 2… NO!!!
As the match continues, King Crab Mack starts to take over, and brings down Violence with a HUGE gutwrench throw over his shoulder.
Rudy Mac: That’s some TRUE power!
1… 2… NO!!!
Violence relentlessly fights back and eventually lays out King Crab Mack in the middle of the ring before climbing to the top rope.
DeShawn: Peak GPW here! Violence showing he’s got a flare for high flying!
Violence launches out for his signature elbow drop, but King Crab Mack moves at the last moment.
CRASH!!!
With the Pure Gold Champion laid out, King Crab Mack then climbs to the top rope himself.
Rudy Mac: We could be about to see some big-move plagiarism!
Indeed, King Crab Mack launches out and delivers a ring-shaking elbow drop.
1… 2… … NO!!!
King Crab Mack doesn’t betray any frustrated emotion but instead continues his attack. He pins Violence in the corner and lays in several punches, but the Asshole From Alberta flips KCM around.
The former Pure Gold Champion climbs up and straddles the Bering Sea Badass and lays in a few punches of his own.
Rudy Mac: It appears Violence has King Crab Mack cornered!
DeShawn: If you’re going to chime in, make it interesting!
Violence then twists KCM’s head in his hand and throws him down to the mat with a bulldog.
1… 2… NO!!!
The two wrestlers get to their feet and continue to battle back and forth, and the fans cheer on in enjoyment of the entertainment.
Eventually, King Crab Mack overwhelms Violence, then lifts him up into a jumping backbreaker.
THE FULL POT!!!
Rudy Mac: This ends a lot of matches!
1… 2… … … NO!!!
The fans exasperate in shock and even King Crab Mack looks surprised. KCM tries to lift Violence up for another delivery of his finisher, but Violence reverses it and lifts KCM onto his shoulders.
DeShawn: EEK!
The transmission goes blurry for a moment while Violence plants King Crab Mack with his FCC-banned wrestling move.
THE BLUR OUT!!!
The show’s video feed returns as Violence hooks KCM’s limp leg.
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Violence just proved he is STILL a force to be reckoned with, even against an up-and-comer like King Crab Mack!
Violence stands up and spits down on KCM before yelling at a production assistant to hand him a microphone.
Winner:
Violence via The Blur Out
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The production assistant nervously hands a microphone up to Violence who snatches it away with enough force to make the PA wring their hand in discomfort.
Rudy Mac: Be kind to the staff, Violence! My own daughter is starting as a production assistant for Golden Pro Wrestling soon!
DeShawn: A daughter!? What’s her ratios!?
Rudy Mac: Dear god, DeShawn! You stay away from her!
Inside the ring, Violence lifts the microphone to his lips while standing over KCM’s body.
Violence: Hello Mem-tards!
Rudy Mac: That’s not nice!
BOO!!!
Violence: Oh now, now, now… you’re going to want to hear what I have to say!
The fans continue to voice their displeasure, but now at a lower volume than before.
Violence: You see, before I came out and dispatched this crab-lover, I got a little visit from good ol’ Commissioner Meloche! You see, this match wasn’t just a moment for you to enjoy the skills of yours truly…
BOO!!!
DeShawn: I have a premonition something important is coming…
Rudy Mac: Stop pretending to be telepathic!
DeShawn: I knew you were going to say that!
The former Pure Gold Champion sneers with self-satisfaction.
Violence: It was a chance to challenge for a Pure Gold Championship Number One Contender Match at Gold Strike 29!
Rudy Mac: WHOA!
Gold Strike 28’s attendees yell out in surprise.
Violence: And Parker even told me who my opponent is going to be! GOLDEN. BEN. [BLEEEEP] MILLER!
Rudy Mac: DOUBLE WHOA!
The entire arena let’s loose an INCREDIBLE pop of excitement, which instantly perturbs Violence but he continues.
Violence: Since I already threw GBM in the trash once way back at Gold Rush, I’m going to skip ahead to the part where I also give you a little taste of what’s in store for your little butt boy, Flip Costa!
Another similar extremely loud cheer goes up for the mention of the Pensacola Pretty Boy.
DeShawn: Oh, THIS is going to be rich!
Violence: Pure Gold Championship title shot or not, I’m going to make sure that Flip Costa stays the HELL out of the upper card of Golden Pro Wrestling. I will NOT let my employment be tainted by an admittedly decent-looking dumbass!
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Hogwash! Flip is MORE than decent looking!
Violence: There you have it folks! A nice little package that even YOUR simple minds can wrap your heads around. GBM or Flip Costa, I don’t care. You’re both on my HIT LISTS!
BOO!!!
The former Pure Gold Champion chucks the microphone out of the ring, which the production assistant barely dodges. He climbs out of the ring while KCM begins to stir back to consciousness and then Violence extends his middle fingers outward as the fans voice their displeasure.
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After Violence and King Crab Mack had returned backstage, the crowd turns their attention to the Gold Screen, which begins to broadcast a backstage feed of Vicky Cogliano.
The Golden Pro Wrestling reporter smiles into the camera while holding a notebook. Her protectors, Bounce Squad, stand stoically in the background.
Vicky: Hello everyone! I’m thrilled to welcome you to a very unique look inside the world of the Draconian. He has agreed to provide a one-time, exclusive interview with me on his spaceship! From what Commissioner Meloche relayed to me before the show, Bounce Squad and I are supposed to meet in this exact spot right about-
Suddenly, Vicky Cogliano and Bounce Squad are enveloped in a blue emanation, and their bodies begin to phase in and out of the transmission.
Rudy Mac: Oh no, Deshawn! Vicky’s gone!
DeShawn: She’s a braver Golden Pro Wrestling employee than I!
The shocked fans all watch as the Gold Screen slowly dissolves to the bridge of the Draconian’s spaceship. At first, everyone’s eyes are forced to adjust to the relative darkness, but then the scene becomes apparent.
The Draconian is sitting in his command chair while the Dominars, Fyx and Shaphre, stand behind. Conversely, Vicky Cogliano sits in a Draconium-style chair facing toward him. Bounce Squad flanks Vicky’s chair and keeps a close, concerned eye on the Dominars.
Vicky: Hello again, GPW fans! The experience of leaving Earth via some sort of teleportation is only akin to the feeling of entertaining a very drunk, heavy-tipping man at the Gold Club! Which, by the way, is open seven days a week and provides exclusive benefits for GPW season ticket holders!
With a confused scowl, the Draconian’s eyes pierce into Vicky. The reporter quickly clears her throat and glances down at her notes and then looks at the Draconian with a skeptical face.
Vicky: Mr. Draconian, thank you very much for giving me and the world the opportunity to better understand you. As relayed to me by Commissioner Meloche, and I am allowed three questions.
The large alien emotionlessly responds to the GPW reporter.
The Draconian: Ask your questions, Vicky Cah-gliano.
Vicky: Question number one… After all that has happened during the first five seasons of Golden Pro Wrestling, what is your current opinion on the human species?
The low hum of the spaceship’s bridge lingers in the air as the Draconian stares silently toward Vicky Cogliano. Finally, he begins to answer the first question.
The Draconian: Hu-mahn-ity is still frail. Fragile. Its existence is propped up by the acts of bravery, guile, and luck. In the end, those very traits will betray your species. Hu-mahns will burn and disintegrate like prisoners plunging into the Volcano of Justice on Draconia.
Before replying, Vicky shifts nervously in her seat, but then reads her notes and continues on.
Vicky: Question number two… What is your perspective of Flip Costa?
The General of Draconium lets his eyes pierce into Vicky, but the reporter returns the same steel gaze.
The Draconian: Flip Co-stah is… unique. He defeated Ja’vek the Dauntless. He captured the eye of my queen. He saved your world… for the time being. Yes, Flip Costa is vain… But also, powerful.
Vicky: Question number three… you always seem to be a person of meticulous intent. What are your plans concerning Fuse Makoto?
The atmosphere tenses from this question, and the Draconian slowly leans forward to Vicky.
The Draconian: My species earns its superiority. And, in order to do so, we must prove our superiority against the best competition. Fuse Mah-koto, despite his recent losses, is still the most superior wrestler in Gohl-den Pro Wrestling. But… he has a weakness.
Vicky considers asking a follow-up question but then pauses to see if the Draconian will continue on his own.
The Draconian: He believes in honor, above all else. Noble in spirit, self-destructive in reality. And Vicky Cah-gliano, I now give you a very special announcement.
The GPW reporter instinctively reacts to continue the momentum of the moment.
Vicky: Please, Mr. Draconian, go on.
The Draconian: I have negotiated with Commissioner Parker Meloche. At Blood And Bling, I will test Fuse Mah-koto’s honor in one-on-one combat.
The fans watching from inside the main arena of FedExForum EXPLODE in excitement at the prospect of the Draconian and Fuse Makoto wrestling at the Season 6 finale.
Back inside the bridge of the Draconian’s spaceship, Vicky attempts her best to maintain a straight, professional face.
Vicky: This is incredible news, Mr. Draconian. What sort of details can you pro-
The GPW is cut off by the large, ominous alien.
The Draconian: No… more… questions.
He motions to Dominar Shaphre, who then skillfully taps a series of buttons on a control panel. Vicky and Bounce Squad are enveloped in blue light, and the scene on the Gold Screen dissolves to the backstage area where the segment had begun.
Vicky and Bounce Squad rematerialize on the large Gold Screen, and the crowd gives a LOUD cheer at her journalistic endeavor as she looks back into the camera.
Vicky: There you have it, ladies and gentlemen! The Draconian. Fuse Makoto. Blood And Bling!
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As Vicky’s segment ends, the crowd is left buzzing loudly to themselves inside the main arena of FedExForum.
Rudy Mac: WOW! The Draconian and Fuse Makoto are going to get down to business at Blood And Bling!
DeShawn: Haven’t those two already wrestled?
Rudy Mac: YES! And Fuse Makoto survived the Draconian in Season 3 to retain the Pure Gold Championship. BUT if I were a betting man…
DeShawn: Go on! I need all the betting tips I can get it!
Rudy Mac: No betting on GPW, DeShawn! That’s in our contracts!
DeShawn: Note to self: don’t verbalize planned contract violations!
Rudy Mac: Anyways, I don’t think the outcome of the first match has ANYTHING to do with how Blood And Bling will turn out! As for now, we have a PURE GOLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
Within an instant, the entire FedExForum GOES NUTS when the beginning of “Midnight Voyage” by Ghostland Observatory pounds through the speaker system.
Rudy Mac: He is HERE! Earth’s hero is ready to take home the biggest prize GPW has to offer!
Flip Costa walks out from backstage with a smile and waves to his fans on his way down to the ring.
DeShawn: After carefully combing through Flip Costa’s gym locker, I was able to get ahold of one of his lustrous, chestnut hairs!
Rudy Mac: Oh jeez, DeShawn, don’t tell us that!
DeShawn: No, it’s important! I did a genetic test, and I’m THRILLED to inform everyone that I’m NOT related to Flip Costa!
Rudy Mac: What does it matter!?
DeShawn: Well, it would be weird to be attracted to one of your relatives, Rudy! DUH!
The acrobatic former gymnast lightly jogs around the ring while the fans continue to cheer. However, his music begins to fade out and is then replaced…
I Won’t Deny It…
The mood of the fans immediately plummets at the sound of Shotcaller’s theme song, “Ambitionz Az A Ridah” by Tupac.
BOO!!!
The LA Bloods gang member comes walking out from backstage with a scowl on his face and the Pure Gold Championship belt around his waist. The Da Bloodz tag team, Choo Choo and Wazzup, follow him with cocky smiles.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Boo all they like, but Shotcaller has been one of Golden Pro Wrestling’s TOP DOGS for multiple seasons in a row now.
DeShawn: Facts are facts!
Rudy Mac: Now, the question is can he overcome the wrestler with the MOST momentum in Golden Pro Wrestling right now?
DeShawn: All signs point to ‘maybe’!
Shotcaller climbs inside the ring and hands the Pure Gold Championship over to the referee, who then hands it down to a production assistant for safekeeping. Choo Choo and Wazzup casually post up on a nearby barricade as if they had no concerns about the match.
Rudy Mac: Incredibly, we have somehow gotten to Season 6, and Shotcaller and Flip Costa are just NOW facing off for the FIRST TIME in the ring!
DeShawn: Fresh material!
The bell rings, which prompts a wild cheer from the Gold Strike 28 fans who are about to witness a pivotal mid-season main event.
The two wrestlers circle each other with some quick sidesteps and then waste no time locking up mid-ring. The early-match action is fast and furious, and Shotcaller gets an upper hand by lifting Flip up and hitting a german suplex into a pin attempt.
1… 2… NO!!!
DeShawn: I’m always a little surprised at early pin attempts. They’re usually off a warm-up move and never win the match.
Rudy Mac: No meta right now, DeShawn!
Action continues while Shotcaller maintains control and finishes a series of moves with a DDT.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Hoo boy, Flip is finding out why they Shotcaller is the Pure Gold Champion!
The fans start murmuring to themselves as Flip is unable to fend off the vicious attack of Shotcaller. Finally, Shotcaller gets Flip into a single-leg boston crab submission hold.
Rudy Mac: We’ve never seen Shotcaller go for a submission!
Flip Costa’s face betrays AGONY, and the referee checks Flip to see if he wants to give up.
Rudy Mac: Flip has gone through to much to tap out now!
TA… TA… TA…
The Gold Strike 28 attendees begin to collectively chant for Flip Costa.
LET’S GO, FLIP! LET’S GO, FLIP! LET’S GO, FLIP!
DeShawn: Let’s go, Flip!
The Pensacola Pretty Boy begins to feed off of the crowd’s energy, and everyone watches as he appears to come back to life while Shotcaller wrenches his leg backward.
Within the blink of an eye, Flip manages to slam the back of a hand into Shotcaller’s head, which forces him to drop his grip. The arena POPS when they see Flip Costa jump up to his feet.
Rudy Mac: Alright, HERE we go!
Flip quickly goes on the offensive and begins to pound Shotcaller backward across the ring. Shotcaller looks stunned by the onslaught and is unable to stop Flip from grabbing him by the head, jumping off the ropes and DRILLING a bulldog in the middle of the ring.
DeShawn: That’s what I’m talking about!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Despite not getting the pinfall, Flip Costa is obviously energized and presses the advantage. First, he whips Shotcaller off the ropes and then SPIKES Shotcaller with a dropkick to his head mid-ring.
1… 2… … NO!!!
Shotcaller appears to still be laid out mid-ring, so Flip runs to the corner and starts to climb the turnbuckle. The crowd screams out helplessly when Shotcaller gets up and follows him.
Rudy Mac: Watch your six, good buddy!
Shotcaller nails Flip from behind and then helps them both get to the top rope precariously.
DeShawn: This is the part of a scary movie where I pretend to be asleep!
Rudy Mac: No, DeShawn! This moment might be important!
The current Pure Gold Champion attempts to leap out to mid-ring with Flip’s head in a neckbreaker position.
THE DRIVE-BY FROM THE TOP ROPE-NO!!!
Flip ducks his neck out from under Shotcaller’s arm, which lets Shotcaller plummet downward and SLAM into the ring.
DeShawn: Oh, I think I might like what’s coming.
After a dramatic pause, Flip leaps out and delivers a STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL senton elbow drop.
THE FLIP-OFF!!!
1… … 2… … NO!!!
The GPW fans scream out unhappily.
Rudy Mac: You can’t count out Shotcaller after just ONE finisher!
Both wrestlers take a few seconds to collect themselves and then climb to their feet to continue the contest. After the reset, Shotcaller regains the upper-hand, and jams Flip Costa into the corner of the ring.
The LA Bloods gang member pushes Flip down to a sitting position and begins to stomp away, finally ending up with his boot pushed into Flip’s neck.
DeShawn: Stop this, ref! Think of Flip’s capillaries!
Eventually, the referee does get Shotcaller to relent, but that only allows Shotcaller to pick Flip up and throw him over his shoulder. Using Flip as a body shield, Shotcaller runs into the far opposite corner and crushes the Pensacola Pretty Boy against the turnbuckle.
Rudy Mac: This is the sort of hard work that wins matches, right here!
Satisfied with Flip’s state of exhaustion, Shotcaller picks him up and attempts to grab him by the head for his signature neckbreaker.
THE DRIVE-BY-NO!!!
Again, Flip squeezes his head out of Shotcaller’s grasp and pushes him from the back, which sends Shotcaller flying through the ropes and out of the ring.
Rudy Mac: This match might be taking a field trip!
As Shotcaller gets to his feet at ringside, Flip Costa climbs up to the top rope and looks way down at the Pure Gold Champion. Shotcaller is caught by surprise when looks up and is CRUSHED by a flying knee strike from Flip.
DeShawn: Talk about a ‘death from above’!
With Shotcaller laid out ringside, the referee is distracted by an approaching Choo Choo.
Rudy Mac: This is the danger of the action going ringside because there are two THUGS ready to mess it all up!
The referee hops down and begins to shove Choo Choo away, but that only allows the opportunity for Wazzup to sneak in from the other side.
Flip Costa is caught off guard when Wazzup grabs him at ringside, kicks him in the stomach and lifts him into a spinning powerbomb.
BODYBAGGED ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: HOGWASH!
Wazzup lifts Flip Costa up and rolls him back into the ring, and then helps Shotcaller get up and back in. Choo Choo casually walks away from the referee and the action, and when the official turns around he just sees the match back inside the ring.
As the referee climbs back in, Shotcaller lifts Flip up by the neck and drops down into a picture-perfect neckbreaker.
THE DRIVE-BY!!!
1… … 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Gah, jeez, dangit! There was so much more potential in this match!
Incensed, the fans make their feelings known.
THAT WAS BOGUS! THAT WAS BOGUS! THAT WAS BOGUS!
Shotcaller is handed the Pure Gold Championship belt, and he quickly exits the ring to rejoin with Choo Choo and Wazzup.
Winner and STILL Pure Gold Champion:
Shotcaller via The Drive-By
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The fans continue to react apoplectically to the shady win by Shotcaller.
BOO!!!
The trio of 85 Piru all throw each other pounds and dabs, and Shotcaller carries the Pure Gold Championship over his shoulder.
Rudy Mac: I hate to say it, but sometimes all that matters is the RESULT! And that means that Shotcaller is STILL the Pure Gold Champion, no matter what any of us say!
Inside the ring, Flip Costa begins to stir back to consciousness after the devastation of the Shotcaller’s Drive-By neckbreaker.
DeShawn: Where do we go to from here, Rudy!?
Rudy Mac: We go to GOLD STRIKE 29! We’re already half-way through Season 6, and this incredible roster is turning everything up a notch! Tune in next time when Violence and Golden Ben Miller have their epic rematch to earn a chance to vie for the Pure Gold Championship! Good night!
At the top of the entrance stage, an up-close handheld camera zooms in on Shotcaller, who throws a ‘W’ sign with his fingers.
Shotcaller looks at the Pure Gold Championship draped over his shoulder, and then nods confidently to the camera with a snarled lip, and the broadcast fades to black…