GOLD STRIKE TURNS 30!
What sort of celebration does GPW have in store!?
A FULL STACK of major showdowns and moments as we barrel our way to the Season 6 finale, Blood And Bling!
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Golden Pro Wrestling theme song “The Sound” by Switchfoot begins to play…
THIS!
IS!
GOLDEN!
PRO!
WRESTLING!
The camera fades into the FedExForum where thousands of fans have already filled into their seats on the floor, and every level within the entire arena!
The camera pans the arena and fans, providing shots of the ring, ramp, intro stage and Gold Screen.
The broadcast transitions to a two-shot of Golden Pro Wrestling’s announcer team.
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Rudy Mac: Welcome BACK to Golden Pro Wrestling for GOLD STRIKE 30! I’m Rudy Mac, your Memphis rasslin’ expert, and sitting next to me is a man whose nostrils are permanently shaped like the outline of his pointer finger, DeShawn Brannon!
DeShawn: Hey hey hey!
Rudy Mac: DeShawn, we are down to ONE LAST episode of Gold Strike before the Season 6 finale, Blood And Bling!
DeShawn: Thank god one of us is keeping track!
Rudy Mac: Just to be clear, we are both being paid to be professionals who are ON TOP of this material!
DeShawn: Okay, just let me put this little bottle of Mad Dog away so I can focus!
Rudy Mac: Thank you! Anyways, TONIGHT we are going to find out what action will round out the season finale!
DeShawn: Just… for the viewers… can you explain what has already been booked for the season finale?
Rudy Mac: DeShawn, this is a recap for YOU, isn’t it!?
DeShawn: Whatever!
Rudy Mac: Listen, this is what is LOCKED IN: Shotcaller vs. Golden Ben Miller for the PURE GOLD CHAMPIONSHIP and Fuse Makoto vs. The Draconian in an Orbital Rescue Match for Fuse’s wife Aiko!
DeShawn: Annddd…?
Rudy Mac: THAT’S IT! Our glorious leader, Commissioner Parker Meloche, has a TON of work to do to set the line up for BLOOD AND BLING!
DeShawn: Oof!
Rudy Mac: Don’t fret, good buddy! That just means we’re in for some SURPRISES and ANSWERS tonight!
DeShawn: Good! Because I’d like an answer for why I saw “The Headliner” Steve Rose all over the place in the arena before the show started!
Rudy Mac: That’s because we are being quote unquote treated to another musical performance. But this time, Steve Rose insists it will be MUCH better because HE is setting up all of his own musical equipment!
DeShawn: I guess I’ll just say this in advance… OW, MY EARS!
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Gold Strike 30 makes its first transition backstage to where Da Bloodz are relaxing in a rear hallway. Choo Choo passes a blunt to Wazzup, who takes a puff and holds in the smoke.
BOO!!!
The crowd cheers when they see Golden Pro Wrestling’s accountant, Corbin Fiscal, walk up in street clothes and a gym bag slang over his shoulder.
The bookkeeper gives a disapproving glare at the two members of the 85 Piru street gang.
Corbin: Alright, boys, you know you can’t be smoking that inside the arena.
Wazzup blows the smoke directly into Corbin’s face, which makes him cough and squint his eyes in discomfort. Choo Choo laughs to himself.
Choo Choo: Ah, dawg. Didn’t we stomp your fake Blood azz out at Gold Strike 27?
The larger member of the Da Bloodz tag team leans in with the blunt still smoking between his fingers.
Wazzup: Ya, and he ain’t been ‘round hurr since.
After fixing his glasses, Corbin Fiscal looks at Da Bloodz with a straight face.
Corbin: Okay, yeah, you guys got me pretty good… but it’s actually perfect that I bumped into you.
Choo Choo: Yeah? Why’z dat?
Corbin: Because I got in touch with Commissioner Meloche, and he agreed to do me a solid.
Wazzup: He agreed to give you a reach-around next time?
The two Bloods gang members bust up laughing to themselves, but Golden Pro Wrestling’s account continues on.
Corbin: Yeah… NO. He agreed to get me in the ring with you two.
The fans back inside the main arena of FedExForum pop loudly.
Choo Choo: You seriously finna take us on by yourself!?
Corbin: NOPE! But you’ll just have to wait until the match to find out who it is!
The head bookkeeper of Golden Pro Wrestling smiles to himself and leaves the two members of Da Bloodz smarting.
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The show returns inside the main arena of FedExForum where the crowd buzzes for the start of live entertainment.
Rudy Mac: I didn’t want to spoil it during the intro of the show, but I can OFFICIALLY announce that tonight’s main event is Da Bloodz versus Corbin Fiscal plus a MYSTERY teammate!
DeShawn: I didn’t want to spoil it during the intro of the show because I have trouble reading and thought it was Da Bloodz versus corn on the cob!
Rudy Mac: We’ll deal with your illiteracy later because right now we have a truly objectionable musical performance by “The Headliner” Steve Rose! And, once he’s mercifully finished, he’ll take on Trickster for his second match in his young Golden Pro Wrestling career!
The lights inside the arena darken, and green and white lasers start to pierce the air from the entrance stage. A low, off-tune power chord emanates from the speakers, and Steve Rose emerges from backstage with his guitar.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Looks like the jury has already reached a verdict!
DeShawn: Maybe we should give Steve Rose a chance to show that his last performance was a product of shoddy audio production!
With a concerned face, Steve Rose continues to play his guitar unevenly as he approaches the microphone. Once at the microphone, he starts to aggressively strum the instrument, and the speaker system picks up feedback.
The sharp sound blaring through the arena sound system forces everyone to cover their ears.
DeShawn: Worker’s comp better cover this!
Rudy Mac: What did you say, DeShawn! I can’t hear you!
The crowd continues to provide swift feedback.
BOO!!!
Nevertheless, Steve Rose dives into the lyrics.
Steve Rose: Bang-doddy-bang-do-da-diddy!
Rudy Mac: He’s stealing from the classic Kid Rock song ‘Bawitdaba’!
Steve Rose: My name is STEEEEEVVEEEEE!!!
BOO!!!
DeShawn: Kid Rock must be rolling in his grave!
Rudy Mac: He’s still alive!
The over-saturated sounds of Steve Rose’s “music” begin to crush the speakers’ output, and they finally fail with a sudden audible blowout. The Headliner continues to play but audio can’t be heard by the fans, which sends them into a HUGE pop.
DeShawn: Thank you, sweet Jesus!
Realizing that his audio setup had failed and that the fans were now elated, Steve Rose gets a frustrated face and throws his guitar on the entrance stage floor. The lights come up and he shakes his head and walks down the entrance ramp to the ring.
Rudy Mac: Now that we have the painful portion of the show out of the way, it’s time to get into some action!
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After Steve Rose gets into the ring, the Gold Screen begins to show alternating Trickster highlights and graphical splashes of his name. However, no music plays through the speakers as Trickster walks out from backstage.
Rudy Mac: The speaker system is COMPLETELY messed up!
DeShawn: Just imagine you’re listening to “Smooth Criminal” by Alien Ant Farm!
Rudy Mac: mm…mm… you’re a smooooth criminal!
DeShawn: Lovin’ it, Rudy!
After Trickster gets down to the ring, he climbs in and squares up with Steve Rose and the bell rings to signal the start of the match. The fans give a cheer in excitement for the first wrestling of Gold Strike 30.
Rudy Mac: Here we go!
The match starts off with Steve Rose going for an attack, but the sly Trickster deftly slips away. For the first minute of the match, it’s a game of a frustrated cat and an amusing mouse.
DeShawn: Steve Rose couldn’t catch Trickster even if he were a Pokémon!
Trickster eventually hits Steve Rose with a running knee to the stomach followed by a bicycle kick to the ground.
1… 2… NO!!!
Steve Rose collects himself and finally grabs hold of Trickster. In less than a moment, Steve Rose delivers a pumphandle slam that shakes the ring.
Rudy Mac: The Headliner definitely has some strength!
1… 2… NO!!!
Action continues, and the fans let out a LOUD cheer when Trickster bounces off the ropes and returns mid-ring to deliver dropkick. He then follows up with a standing moonsault.
DeShawn: Trickster pulling out a new trick!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Momentum swings back in favor of Steve Rose who throws Trickster to the ropes and delivers a tiltawhirl slam upon the slippery wrestler’s return to mid-ring.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: This one is going FAST!
The Headliner, frustrated by the kickout, attempts to deliver his signature 360 spinebuster.
THE POWER CHORD-NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Trickster slips out of Steve Rose’s finisher!
Trickster pulls off his shirt mid-ring to show off yet another shirt that prompts a wild cheer from the fans.
DeShawn: That’s a B.B. King shirt!
Rudy Mac: Memphis’ own legendary musician!
The pop from the fans makes Steve Rose apoplectic, and he begins to walk around the ring yelling back at the fans.
Trickster runs up from behind and wraps his original shirt around the Headliner’s face, then quickly spins Steve Rose around and NAILS him with a superkick.
KICKERY TRICKERY!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: The Headliner takes another loss, and the Trickster gets back in the win column!
The fans cheer on as Trickster slides out of the ring and enjoys the adulation. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Steve Rose gets up and begins stomping in frustration.
Winner:
Trickster via Kickery Tricky
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Gold Strike 30 returns backstage to where GPW reporter Vicky Cogliano is standing with a microphone next to Flip Costa.
The appearance of the Pensacola Pretty Boy sends a MASSIVE pop from back inside the main arena of FedExForum. Bounce Squad remains close by as Vicky’s vigilant protectors.
Vicky: Flip Costa, thank you so much for joining me!
Flip: Anything for you, cute little Nancy Drew!
Vicky: Flip, I’m just going to dive right into the meat of it. Violence. He has been all over your case since the start of the season, and he’s now called you out as being unworthy of the status as Golden Pro Wrestling top talent.
The Pensacola Pretty Boy rolls his eyes and smiles back.
Flip: Like, this is COMPLETELY BOGUS. I could sit here and give you a list of my accomplishments, but like my illustrious chestnut hair, I let it speak for itself.
Behind Flip Costa, Blain instinctively reaches out to try and touch Flip’s hair. Chavez smacks him in the arm, which startles Blain and prompts him to pull his arm back.
Vicky: In the past, even as recently as last season with Jumpstart, Violence has shown a pattern of hunting down his targets until they break. What’s your approach to handling him?
Flip: Listen, maybe I should go own my accomplishments. I’ve been across the galaxy. I’ve banged an alien queen. I’ve battled four-armed aliens. I’ve been transformed into a brainless warrior. I’ve even beaten Fuse Makoto, which is probably the wildest of all my accomplishments… so, there’s NO WAY I’m backing down from this mohawked jackass!
A large pop emanates through the hallway as the Gold Strike 30 attendees cheer on.
Vicky: Any special plans?
The Pensacola Pretty Boy smirks at Vicky and then looks back into the camera.
Flip: There’s been, like, one thing in particular that defines Violence. Something that I know he values more than ANYTHING else in the world, and it’s that BOGUS finisher! The Blur Out!
BOO!!!
Flip: We already know it’s banned by the TV government-
Vicky: You mean the FCC?
Flip: Sure. BUT I think it should be banned here in Golden Pro Wrestling! And THIS is my challenge to Violence. Me and you at Blood And Bling. If I win, the Blur Out is GONE! No more! Ka-put it in the trash!
A HUGE cheer goes up in response from the fans.
Vicky: That’s incredible! But it’s safe to say that Violence might want something on the line from you. What do you have to offer?
Flip: That’s the thing, Vicky… I know there’s no way to guess what a JERKFACE like Violence wants, and that’s why I’m going to let him stipulate ANYTHING!
The Golden Pro Wrestling reporter shows a surprised face.
Vicky: Anything!?
Flip: I don’t care if it’s a one-on-one steak dinner date with me, he can have anything he wants if he wins! He just has to answer TONIGHT!
The local Gold Club dancer and intrepid pro wrestling journalist looks back at the camera with a smile.
Vicky: It’s official! Violence is on the clock to respond! Flip Costa, ladies and gentlemen!
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The transmission switches to back inside the main arena of FedExForum as the fans buzz from the news of Flip’s challenge to Violence.
Rudy Mac: Hoo boy! Flip Costa is willing to put ANYTHING on the line to retire the Blur Out finishing move at Blood And Bling!
DeShawn: And Violence can ask for anything in return!?
Rudy Mac: The bigger news might be that you were actually paying attention! Anyways, we have a NUMBER ONE CONTENDER match for the Hardcore Championship!
The arena speaker system pops and fizzes in failure while the Gold Screen begins to play a package of King Crab Mack highlights.
Rudy Mac: Gah! We’re still having technical difficulties after Steve Rose blew out the in-arena audio!
King Crab Mack walks out from backstage, and the arena gives him a huge cheer despite the lack of music.
DeShawn: It doesn’t matter if KCM has had some difficulty punching through to the upper card, he’s still the KING CRAB of the hardcore division to me!
Carrying his signature extra-large crab hook, he climbs into the ring and awaits his opponent. And, again, the speaker system crashes out trying to play music.
Instead, the masked incel known as Reject stomps onto the entrance stage with his barbed wire bat.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Reject is a former Hardcore Champion in his own right, so we can’t expect this to be a walk-in-the-park for KCM!
Once the two wrestlers are in the ring together, the bell rings and the fans give a nice pop of excitement.
The fireworks kick off when Reject takes a swing of his bat at KCM, which the Bering Sea Badass defends by deflecting it with his crab hook.
DeShawn: It’s like a GPW version of Highlander!
After continuing to duel with their weapons, Reject deftly sidesteps a swing of the hook, drops and sweeps KCM’s feet out from under him with the bat.
Rudy Mac: That’s slick work!
Reject spends a minute stomping on King Crab Mack’s head and then drops a leg across his chest and hooks a leg.
1… 2… NO!!!
Once they are on their feet, King Crab Mack takes control and whips Reject to the ropes, and then CRACKS Reject with his crab hook upon return to mid-ring.
Rudy Mac: That even hurt MY head!
1… 2… NO!!!
The momentum swings back to Reject who wears down KCM and mightily lifts him onto his shoulders and then drops him with a forward falling slam.
1… 2… … NO!!!
DeShawn: I won’t say KCM is a great looking man, but he sure is a lot better looking that Reject probably is!
Rudy Mac: Hopefully we never see what’s under Reject’s mask!
King Crab Mack grabs hold of the lead in this back-and-forth affair and slams Reject’s head off the turnbuckle multiple times before leading him out to mid-ring.
With a grunt, the Bering Sea Badass lifts the large masked incel and delivers a jumping backbreaker.
THE FULL POT!!!
1… 2… … 3!!!
The crowd POPS OFF at the victory for their favorite hardcore wrestler.
Rudy Mac: That’s gonna do it! King Crab Mack, Sicko, the Hardcore Championship is on the line at Blood And Bling!
King Crab Mack grabs his hook and holds it up triumphantly to the fans as the arena speakers pop and hiss in malfunction while trying to play his music.
Winner:
King Crab Mack via The Full Pot
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The penultimate event of Season 6 moves on, and the Gold Screen dissolves to a scene of the FedExForum rooftop. It’s dark, but the lights of the Memphis skyline can be seen in the background.
Rudy Mac: I think we know who likes to do a promo shoot from up there!
In front of the camera, a dark figure steps into the light revealing none other than the former Pure Gold Champion, Fuse Makoto.
The entire arena EXPLODES for their hero, and once the cheering subsides, Fuse Makoto looks intensely into the camera.
Fuse: Dear amazing people of Memphis, I am here to respond to the one called the Draconian.
BOO!!!
Fuse: He has taken my wife. He has challenged my resolve. He has challenged the core of my being.
BOO!!!
The young ace from Japan leans forward and points into the camera.
Fuse: I accept your challenge, Draconian. My wife. My resolve. My core. I will come to your spaceship, and I will recapture all that you have taken.
The fans inside the arena cheer insanely as Fuse’s response.
Fuse: At Blood And Bling, I will defeat you. And I say this in the name of Makoto…
For a moment, Fuse Makoto looks conflicted and then returns his stare into the camera.
Fuse: …in the name of Makoto, presented by Nissan.
There is a lukewarm buzz amongst the fans as the video feed from the FedExForum roof fades on the Gold Screen.
Rudy Mac: Fuse Makoto HAS NO FEAR of the Draconian or what awaits him on that spaceship!
DeShawn: And I have to mention something positive about Nissan!
Rudy Mac: That’s not how to use the script, DeShawn! That was a prompt, not a line!
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Gold Strike 30 returns backstage to a hallway where Golden Pro Wrestling Commissioner Parker Meloche is walking. His pace is brisk, and in his hands is a manila folder.
The crowd gives a warm cheer for the showrunner; however, the cheers are interrupted when “The Headliner” Steve Rose comes running up from behind.
Steve Rose: Yo!
Parker appears to ignore the salutation and keeps walking. Steve Rose finally catches up all the way and spins Parker around by the shoulder.
Steve Rose: I said ‘yo,’ bro!
The young Canadian businessman sighs with an annoyed face.
Parker: What, what, Steve? I’m incredibly busy right now.
Steve Rose: C’mon, man! Did you see what happened out there!? These people don’t know music! You set me up to fail!
GPW’s commissioner cocks an eye of incredulity.
Parker: Listen, Steve. I gave you TWO shots to play your music, and even when you set up all of your own equipment, you still stink! Not to mention I have my tech crew scrambling to fix the speakers you blew out!
The Headliner rolls his eyes.
Steve Rose: That was a small price to pay for the chance to ROCK! The only problem is that this ‘crowd’ doesn’t have an ear for music!
Parker: Okay, so what’s the point here? You’re under contract to wrestle, and the musical act was a cherry-on-top for the opportunity.
After a moment, Steve shakes his head in disagreement. His long blonde hair flaps over his shoulders.
Steve Rose: Listen, dude. I get that playing live, ROCKIN’ music is a dead end with these tone-deaf Memphis people. BUT I still think you owe me!
Parker: Owe what!?
Steve Rose: Next season, if I win THREE matches, you have to pay for the entire production of my debut album… AND you have to pay for its promotion!
Parker: Are you serious!? Steve, pay attention here, I have some REALLY important things to attend to tonight. You DO realize I’m trying to wrap up the card for the Season 6 finale, right?
Steve Rose: That’s not an answer, bro!
With a look of exasperation, the Golden Pro Wrestling showrunner throws his hands up.
Parker: OKAY! If you win three times in Season 7, I’ll bankroll your entire debut album!
The Headliner’s face lights up with a smile.
Steve Rose: ROCK ON!
Parker watches while the obtuse musician walks away throwing ‘rock’ hand gestures in the air.
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Gold Strike 30 goes back inside the main arena of FedExForum where the fans buzz in anticipation of the next part of the show.
Rudy Mac: Good golly! At least this means there’s no more quote unquote ‘musical’ performances from Steve Rose!
DeShawn: Also, who listens to albums anymore?!
Rudy Mac: No time to dive into how the way Spotify and other music streaming services have changed the way our society consumes organized sounds… we have a TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP NUMBER ONE CONTENDER MATCH coming up next!
DeShawn: Let’s get it!
The speaker system pops and fizzes in futility while the Gold Screen begins to play the intro video for Your Captains. The crowd lets out a loud cheer when the United Airlines pilots walk out on the stage.
Rudy Mac: Please forgive us for the technical difficulties with the speaker system!
DeShawn: Just go into the match exposition!
Rudy Mac: It’s been a SOLID season for Your Captains! They’ve turned around their losing streak, gotten the fans on their side, and now they have a chance to punch their ticket for a tag team title match at the Season 6 finale, Blood And Bling!
Your Captains get down to the ring, and Capt. John climbs through the ropes. He scales the corner to the top turnbuckle, poses for the fans and does a backflip back into the middle of the ring.
Meanwhile, the speakers continue to fail, and the Gold Screen switches to wrestling highlights of the Orderlies.
BOO!!!
The Orderlies emerge onto the entrance stage with stoic faces and their boss, Dr. Dean, tagging along behind them.
Rudy Mac: Here is a wild fact… in all six seasons of Golden Pro Wrestling, the Orderlies and Your Captains have NEVER faced off!
Orderly Summers enters the ring and squares up with Capt. John. Orderly Caruso takes his spot on the outside corner opposite Capt. Derek, and Dr. Dean watches intently from ringside.
Once the bell rings, the two lock up.
Rudy Mac: Major size advantage for the Orderlies tonight!
Indeed, Orderly Summers gets Capt. John in a headlock and punches him so hard that it sends him down to the mat. The large employee of Dr. Dean then picks up Capt. John and lifts up into a military press.
DeShawn: I do that all the time in the gym!
Rudy Mac: I’m calling hogwash on that!
DeShawn: I’m not saying I’m actually holding anything when I do it, though!
Rudy Mac: That’s just raising your arms!
Orderly Summers goes to drop. Capt. John, but the airline pilot pivots and delivers a hurricanrana on the way down.
1… 2… NO!!!
Capt. John tags in his partner, Capt. Derek, who immediately goes to work on the woozy Orderly Summers.
Rudy Mac: Your Captains seem to have early momentum!
Capt. Derek delivers a standing moonsault, which prompts a lively cheer from the crowd.
1… 2… NO!!!
Once back on their feet, Orderly Summers is able to knock Capt. Derek to the ground and tag in Orderly Caruso.
DeShawn: Let’s get ready for some Italian American power moves!
Orderly Caruso clotheslines Capt. Derek and then begins to stomp on his head. The referee interferes once the stomping becomes over-the-top.
The Orderlies’ boss shouts commands from the ringside.
Dr. Dean: Proceed with your finisher, Caruso!
The leader of Psych Ward is obliged, and Orderly Caruso hits Capt. Derek with a sit-out powerbomb.
MEDICATION TIME!!!
1… 2… … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: We probably wouldn’t have seen that kickout before Season 6!
The two wrestlers get to their feet, and Capt. Derek is able to sneak away and tag in Capt. John. The fellow high-flyer immediately jumps to the top rope and launches out into a dropkick that NAILS Orderly Caruso onto the mat.
DeShawn: I think I know what’s coming next!
Capt. John scales the ropes once more and leaps out into a 360-frog splash that shakes the entire ring and delights the show’s attendees.
THE RED EYE!!!
1… … 2… … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Holy moly! Your Captains are headed to Blood And Bling for a shot at the Dominars for the Golden Pro Wrestling Tag Team Championship!
DeShawn: I love a good come from behind story, even if it ISN’T from a mature website!
Rudy Mac: DeShawn!
Your Captains both climb up to opposite corner ropes, pose for the crowd and perform identical backflips. Meanwhile, Dr. Dean berates his henchmen for the loss.
Winners:
Your Captains via The Red Eye
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Following the tag team match, the fans turn their attention to the Gold Screen, which presents a transmission from a FedExForum conference room. Fortunately, despite the arena speaker system being unable to play music, it continues to fully function for backstage segment dialogue.
In the conference room is GPW Commissioner Parker Meloche sitting at the table along with GPW’s lawyer, Malcom Marshall. Chavez from Bounce Squad stands behind them.
The conference door opens and the blue-haired oaf named Awoke enters the room with a scowl.
BOO!!!
The showrunner gestures to a chair.
Parker: Please grab a seat, Awoke. This may take a minute.
Awoke: First off, time is racist, but right now I can’t get into the specifics why. What am I doing here?
Parker: Seriously, Awoke, take a seat. This is important.
With a huff, the San Francisco SJW sits down. The door to the conference room opens again, and this time it’s the small luchador named Ejercito de Juan. That crowd inside the main arena of FedExForum let out a loud pop of support for the embattled illegal immigrant.
Parker: Juan! Thank you so much for coming, and please have a seat.
Ejercito de Juan sits down across the table from Awoke, and stares straight at the blue-haired oaf. Awoke looks back at Juan empathetically.
Awoke: Juan, I’m so glad to be here. If ICE comes in the door, rest assured I have several chants prepared that will make them question their purpose and methods!
The young Canadian businessman waves his hands.
Parker: Awoke, we’re waayyy past that. The fact is that we need to reconcile the reality that YOU are responsible for Ejercito de Juan’s family being captured by ICE!
GPW’s resident luchador emphatically nods while Awoke gets a surprised and offended look.
Awoke: What are you talking about!? First off, this ISN’T my fault! And, second, I selflessly led a HIGH-POWER PROTEST against ICE. They’re sure to crack any moment and deliver this impoverished little man’s family back to him! You should all be THANKING me!
EdJ stands up dramatically and points his finger at Awoke.
Ejercito de Juan: ¡Es absurdo! ¡Mi familia está en un centro de detención para deportaciones por tu culpa!
Parker looks back at Chavez for a translation.
Chavez: He says no way. He says Awoke got them locked up.
Commissioner Meloche leans forward.
Parker: Listen, we can debate this all night long, but I’m making an executive decision here that will settle this!
Awoke and Ejercito de Juan pay close attention.
Parker: Our legal counsel, Mr. Marshall, has come up with a law-based way for us to move forward. I understand Awoke doesn’t think he caused Juan’s predicament, but it only makes sense that he defends himself in the ring against the accusation. It’s the Golden Pro Wrestling way.
The two perturbed wrestlers follow along.
Parker: And Juan, I want to give you the opportunity to get your family back, which we have an opportunity to do so! Here’s the deal…
The GPW showrunner opens the manila envelope he brought with him and reads carefully from a piece of paper.
Parker: Under United States law, marriage between two men is perfectly legal. And marriage with a United States citizen will extend legal protection to their non-citizen spouse and their immediate family.
Both wrestlers get confused looks (EdJ’s assumably under his mask).
Awoke: Wait, what? You’re saying that if I lose, I have to marry my impoverished little friend!?
Ejercito de Juan: No soy tu amigo tonto americano liberal!
Everyone in the room looks back at Chavez.
Chavez: He says he ain’t Awoke’s homie.
The Golden Pro Wrestling commissioner continues.
Parker: So, I’m OFFICIALLY booking a match between you both at Blood And Bling. If Awoke wins, he can walk away from this matter and move on with his antics. If Juan wins, then you will both become legally married, and our legal counsel will take care of releasing Juan’s lovely family from ICE custody! This is the only course of action that makes sense!
The San Francisco SJW shakes his head.
Awoke: NOT good enough! Everything is on the line for me, and NOTHING is on the line for Juan or this racist, sexist, misogynistic, oppressive, fascist, anti-human rights wrestling organization!
The young Canadian businessman takes a moment to think to himself.
Parker: Fair enough, I’ll sweeten the pot for you. If you win, Awoke, then Golden Pro Wrestling will make a handsome donation to Call To Activism.
A big smile appears on the blue-haired oaf’s face.
Awoke: First off, the adjective ‘handsome’ is another way to assert male superiority. I find that disgusting! However, I’m pleased with the stipulation! Call To Activism is single-handedly keeping our country alive!
GPW’s commissioner claps his hands together with an excited smile.
Parker: Great! And, as a recently online-ordained minister, I will promptly execute the wedding at Blood And Bling should Ejercito de Juan win!
Awoke and Ejercito de Juan both stand up and face off across the conference room table.
Ejercito de Juan: ¡Te derrotaré, me casaré contigo y recuperaré a mi familia! ¡Haré lo que haga falta por mi esposa, mis hijas, mi hermano y mi madre!
Everyone looks over to Chavez.
Chavez: He says he’s gonna wife you up like the bitch you are, Awoke.
Awoke: Whatever!
The San Francisco SJW storms out of the conference room, and Parker turns to Ejercito de Juan.
Parker: Good luck, Juan! The GPW universe is rooting for you!
Ejercito de Juan nods quietly while the fans inside the main arena of FedExForum cheer at the prospect of the upcoming grudge match.
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The transmission on the Gold Screen ends and the crowd POPS for the announcement of another Blood And Bling match.
Rudy Mac: It’s official! Ejercito de Juan is taking on Awoke for the opportunity to marry him and save his family!
DeShawn: I love weddings!
Inside the ring, Dr. Dean stretches and lightly jogs as the Orderlies stand down at ringside with ginger demeanors from their match before.
Rudy Mac: We’ve got back-to-back Psych Ward action here, and this time it will be Dr. Dean with a shot for a Silver Championship match at Blood And Bling! If he wins, he’ll be taking on the very person he’s responsible to heal, his patient Decade!
DeShawn: Doctor vs. patient!? I thought that only happens in court!
Rudy Mac: By the way, I must say Dr. Dean is looking a lot bigger since he started taking his own medicine, Strenstrata!
The music of “Get Ready” by 2 Unlimited plays for a moment through the speakers, and the crowd gives a brief cheer for the return of in-ring audio.
Rudy Mac: We’ve got music ba-
Then the speakers blow out into static again prompting a collective sigh of disappointment from the 19,000 attendees.
DeShawn: Screw Steve Rose and the electric guitar he rode in on!
Cory Stenson walks out onto the entrance stage, and the crowd gives a lively cheer for the 6’8” hometown wrestler.
Rudy Mac: Cory Stenson is a former Silver Champion himself, but before this season’s win against “The Headliner” Steve Rose, he hadn’t won a singles match since Gold Strike 11!
DeShawn: Let’s go, big boy!
The enormous young wrestler steps over the ropes and immediately walks up to Dr. Dean with confidence as the bell rings.
Action immediately picks up with Cory Stenson grabbing hold and rag dolling Dr. Dean around the ring to the delight of the fans. The ring shakes when he hits a fallaway slam.
Rudy Mac: That could be considered a signature move by Cory!
Cory Stenson continues to press the attack on Dr. Dean but gets tripped up when Dr. Dean slips away and kicks his legs out from under him. The leader of Psych Ward stands over Cory Stenson and delivers a series of stomps to his back.
DeShawn: I always knew doctors look down on everyone!
Dr. Dean climbs on top of Cory and pulls his legs up backwards into a boston crab submission attempt.
THE DIAGNOSIS!!!
Rudy Mac: Cory Stenson has been in this spot before and GOT OUT before taking the Silver Championship from Dr. Dean! That was way back at Gold Strike 9!
TA… TA… TA…
The referee checks in on Cory, who grits his teeth while enduring the painful body position. Instead, Cory Stenson crawls across the ring dragging Dr. Dean with him until he’s able to grab hold of the bottom rope.
The leader of Psych Ward yells out in frustration as he’s forced to let go of Cory Stenson’s legs.
Dr. Dean: Blasted!
Cory Stenson climbs up to his feet and clobbers Dr. Dean down with a clothesline. He then picks Dr. Dean up in the air and drills a fisherman’s DDT.
DeShawn: OOF!
1… 2… … NO!!!
The crowd yells out in exasperation when the mental physician kicks out.
Rudy Mac: Dr. Dean is really hanging in there!
Dr. Dean and Cory climb to their feet and trade blows back and forth. Eventually, Dr. Dean grabs hold of Cory and delivers a pumphandle slam while the entire arena appears shocked at the doctor’s strength.
Rudy Mac: I can’t believe what I just saw! Dr. Dean just lifted all 290 pounds of Cory! He certainly is a Strenstrata success story!
DeShawn: When it comes to the Strenstrata medicine, I’m a believer!
1… 2… … … NO!!!
A cheer goes up from the Gold Strike 30 attendees when Cory kicks out. Both wrestlers get to their feet and reset for more action.
Rudy Mac: These two REALLY want a chance to win back the Silver Championship!
Cory makes the first move and drags Dr. Dean to the corner. He aggressively RAMS Dr. Dean in the chest with multiple shoulders and then pulls him out to mid-ring to deliver his finisher.
DeShawn: It might be time for a jumping piledriver!
STENSON DRIVER!!!
1… … 2… … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Dr. Dean is on a whole new level!
Cory tries to collect himself and wrangle Dr. Dean back to a standing position, but Dr. Dean reverses things with an uppercut.
DeShawn: That looked illegal!
The referee does bark at Dr. Dean, but the leader of Psych Ward ignores him and nails Cory Stenson with a flatliner.
Rudy Mac: New move!
Dr. Dean climbs onto Cory’s back once more and again asserts himself into the boston crab position.
THE DIAGNOSIS!!!
Cory Stenson screams out in agony as Dr. Dean puts more pressure on than the previous time he locked in the move.
Rudy Mac: Strenstrata really seems to be kicking in here!
TA… TA… TA… TAP TAP TAP!!!
The crowd screams out in disappointment as Dr. Dean lets go of Cory’s legs and stands up triumphantly.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Goodness gracious! Dr. Dean is going to have a chance to win the Silver Championship from his own mental patient, Decade!
The Orderlies enter the ring and deliver a couple of kicks to the distressed Cory Stenson. Dr. Dean claps his hands together.
Dr. Dean: Time to go, gentlemen!
Gold Strike 30’s attendees continue to voice their displeasure while Dr. Dean leads his henchman up the ramp and out of the ring. Meanwhile, the speaker system continues to crackle in malfunction.
Winner:
Dr. Dean via The Diagnosis
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Once Dr. Dean, the Orderlies and Cory Stenson return backstage, the show’s transmission switches to a handheld camera in a dark part of FedExForum. Out of the shadows, Violence emerges.
BOO!!!
Violence: Ah, the Morons of Memphis. Such a classy group.
BOO!!!
The former Pure Gold Champion snarls into the camera.
Violence: I heard there was a little challenge laid out for me. Some sort of cute match at Blood And Bling? Something about the MOST feared finisher in GPW, the Blur Out!?
BOO!!!
The man known as the Asshole From Alberta rolls his eyes.
Violence: Oh, hate my finisher all you like but IT is the reason you’re all in this arena! You know perfectly well that when you watch at home and you only see a pixelated image on your TV… you HAVE to come see it in person!
BOO!!!
Violence: Why do you think Parker keeps me around? My charming wit? NO! IT’S THE BLUR OUT! It’s the FACT that I put your dumb asses in the seats!
Gold Strike 30’s attendees buzz as the former Pure Gold Champion continues on.
Violence: And apparently Flip Costa, the do-gooder, wants to help get rid of it!? Doesn’t he realize it only means fewer people coming to shows? Doesn’t he realize it’s only going to hurt his pay!? What. A. MORON!
BOO!!!
Violence: But I’ll play along. What do I have to fear? I’m on ANOTHER historic winning streak, and I’ve already dismantled Flip Costa once already!
After smirking to himself, the Asshole From Alberta squints his eyes and looks into the camera.
Violence: I’ll give Flip some credit, he did offer to let me make any stipulation of my own! That took some guts… So, what should it be…?
He places a finger on his lips for a moment and then snaps a finger with a surprised face.
Violence: I know! He wants to take away something that matters to me? Then FAIR IS FAIR… Flip, I want your HAIR!
Everyone inside FedExForum lets out a cry of surprise.
Violence: At Blood And Bling, if you beat me… you’ll never see the Blur Out again. But when I beat you, I get to shave your head RIGHT THEN AND THERE!
BOO!!!
The former Pure Gold Champion reaches over to grab something and then holds out a pair of hair clippers to the camera.
Violence: Clippity clip, dipshit!
He raises a middle finger to the camera with his other hand and the segment fades out.
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Back inside the main arena, the crowd is absolutely humming in excitement.
Rudy Mac: Holy mackerel! It sounds like the ENTIRE Blood And Bling card is LOCKED IN!
DeShawn: Please run it down for me… I mean, my friend!
Rudy Mac: I know perfectly well this is for YOU because YOU weren’t paying attention!
DeShawn: I’ll never admit that!
Rudy Mac: Let’s start with the championship defenses! Your Captains have had a great season and now take on the current tag team title holders, the Dominars!
DeShawn: Hoo boy!
Rudy Mac: King Crab Mack has the opportunity to reclaim his spot atop the Hardcore Division by dethroning Sicko!
DeShawn: Those two DEFINE the hardcore division!
Rudy Mac: Dr. Dean will have to dish out some medicine to Decade in a Psychiatrist vs. Patient showdown for the Silver Championship!
DeShawn: Just what the doctor ordered!
Rudy Mac: Then we get into the GRUDGE matches! That’s right, it’s the good stuff!
DeShawn: See, this is where I… I mean, my friend could use some help!
Rudy Mac: 10-4 good buddy! One story that’s been brewing all season is Awoke calling ICE’s attention to Ejercito de Juan and his family! Now Juan has to defeat Awoke, marry him and his family will be free!
DeShawn: Oh, that’s what that was all about!
Rudy Mac: Plus, Violence is putting his signature finisher ON THE LINE for the chance to SHAVE Flip’s head!
DeShawn: A crime against humanity if it happens!
Rudy Mac: Also, Fuse Makoto must travel to the Draconian’s spaceship to free his wife, Aiko, in an Orbital Rescue Match!
DeShawn: I’ve been there, and it ain’t a fun place!
Rudy Mac: And in the MAIN EVENT, Golden Ben Miller and Shotcaller are going toe-to-toe in a FIRST BLOOD MATCH for the Pure Gold Championship!
DeShawn: Heat that show up in a spoon, let it melt, grab a syringe and inject that stuff right into my arm-
Rudy Mac: Stop it, DeShawn! Anyways, before we get to Blood And Bling, we still have our FINAL Gold Strike main event right NOW!
DeShawn: Let’s gooo!
Rudy Mac: Earlier this season, Corbin Fiscal was STOMPED OUT by Da Bloodz. Now, he’ll have a chance to pay them back in a tag team match featuring a SURPRISE teammate!
The fans can hear the speakers attempt to play but the all-too-familiar crackling noises indicate the audio system still isn’t fixed. From backstage, Da Bloodz arrive followed by the Pure Gold Champion, Shotcaller.
BOO!!!
Rudy Mac: Looks like if Da Bloodz always ride with Shotcaller, he’ll always ride with them!
Choo Choo and Wazzup climb up onto the ring apron, and Wazzup goes over the ropes and struts around. Shotcaller continues around the ring carrying the Pure Gold Championship belt over his shoulder with a cocky smile.
The two GPW announcers are shocked when Shotcaller pulls up a chair beside them and a production assistant hands him a headset to put on.
Rudy Mac: Ladies and gentlemen, we have the Pure Gold Champion joining us for tonight’s main event!
Shotcaller: What it do, Ruud.
DeShawn: Word!
Rudy Mac: We’re excited to have you join us Shotcaller!
Shotcaller: Yeah, dawg. Even tho you a corny ass boy, I want to get on here and make sure da peeple know EXACTLY wut I think.
A production crew member runs across the entrance stage and begins messing around with some of the speaker wiring. Meanwhile, another production crew member brings over a laptop computer and hurriedly plugs away at the keys.
Rudy Mac: Any initial thoughts!?
Shotcaller: Yuh, first off DA BLOODZ finna be the tag team champions next season, ya heard me!?
The production crew members give each other a thumbs up, and the speaker system tries to kick in. The garbled music of “I Chase Paper” by Plies plays through, and then static overtakes everything again.
Rudy Mac: We HAVE to get this speaker system fixed!
DeShawn: Steve Rose, you SUCK!
Corbin Fiscal walks out onto the entrance stage while his highlight package plays on the Gold Screen, and the fans cheerly loudly for the affable GPW accountant.
Rudy Mac: If anyone has anything bad to say about Corbin, I’d like to hear it!
Shotcaller: Ah sheesh, boy. Corbin Fiscal iz da fakest homie on da whole roster.
DeShawn: But he’s a Blood gang member!
Shotcaller: Nah, dem homies from da east coast like him AIN’T real Bloodz.
Corbin Fiscal makes his way down to the ring and climbs in. He squares up against Wazzup, but the referee attempts to keep them apart until the Corbin’s surprise teammate is revealed.
Rudy Mac: No more waiting, it’s time to find out who Corbin’s partner is!
The two production crew members from earlier continue to mess with speaker wires and troubleshoot with audio system computer software. The crowd watches anxiously until they both give each other a thumbs up, but more tentatively this time.
The 19,000 Gold Strike 30 attendees apprehensively gawk as the crewmember with the laptop carefully points their index finger downward and dramatically presses a key in slow motion.
After a moment, the speakers pop, and the fans all moan in disappointment.
Rudy and DeShawn: SON OF A BIT-
Then it hits.
GPW’s most iconic intro drumbeat begins to POUND into the arena with PRESTINE clarity!
“My Hero” by Foo Fighters.
Golden Ben Miller.
The entire arena ERUPTS!
Rudy Mac: GBM is HERE! And he brought the music with him!
DeShawn: Only the Golden Warhorse can fix speakers with this PRESENCE!
Shotcaller: I think dat wuz da production crew, homie!
Gold Strike 30’s attendees jump up and down wildly when Golden Ben Miller appears on the entrance stage. He lifts an arm up to them in solidarity, which only sends the fans into even more of a frenzy.
After taking the moment in, GBM walks down the ramp and climbs into the ring. He approaches Corbin Fiscal and gives him a bro-hug and a fist bump.
Rudy Mac: Da Bloodz might have their hands full now that GBM is in play!
Shotcaller: Nah, we gud we gud. GBM ain’t NUTTIN.
GBM nods to Corbin as if to tell him to start the match before making his way back over to the corner ring apron.
The music fades out and the bell rings.
DeShawn: I love the rush of a GPW main event starting!
Corbin and Wazzup circle each other, and the crowd gives a loud pop when Corbin hits a running dropkick.
He quickly gets up to his feet and delivers a running, jumping frog splash across Wazzup’s chest.
Rudy Mac: Corbin’s off to a good start!
1… 2… NO!!!
The match escalates when Wazzup catches Corbin off-guard and then PLANTS HIM with a vertical suplex toss.
1… 2… NO!!!
Shotcaller: Yo, time to tag in Choo Choo!
Wazzup listens to Shotcaller and slaps the hand of his smaller fellow Bloodz gang member. Choo Choo immediately springs into action and nails Corbin with a bicycle kick.
1… 2… NO!!!
Choo Choo continues on and attempts a roundhouse kick. However, Corbin sidesteps and falls toward the corner where Golden Ben Miller is waiting with his arm outstretched.
Rudy Mac: It’s GBM time!
As soon as their hands make contact, Golden Ben Miller flies over the ropes and runs straight at Choo Choo. The smaller member of Da Bloodz is NAILED with a big boot to the face.
Shotcaller: Dem old school moves are corny AF!
The fans pop when Golden Ben Miller performs a leg drop.
1… 2… NO!!!
The Golden Warhorse climbs back to his feet and lifts Choo Choo up. Choo Choo manages to sneak a knee to GBM’s mid-section and tag in Wazzup.
DeShawn: This might be our first power-versus-power match-up of the night!
Wazzup gets into the ring, and he and Golden Ben Miller go to war. The next few minutes are back-and-forth punches and slam but Wazzup wears down GBM and lifts him into a spinning powerbomb.
BODYBAGGED!!!
Rudy Mac: We’ve seen that move silence of lot of people!
1… … 2… … NO!!!
Shotcaller: Derr’s more where dat came frum!
Once back on their feet, the two large wrestlers trade shots back and forth. Finally, Golden Ben Miller is able to scoop slam Wazzup and tag in Corbin Fiscal.
The athletic accountant jumps up onto the middle of the ropes and springboards outward to Wazzup’s body before delivering a SWEET flying leg drop.
1… 2… NO!!!
Rudy Mac: Everyone seems to have come to play tonight!
After getting to their feet, Wazzup levels Corbin Fiscal down and then drops his knee onto Corbin’s neck. The referee pointlessly attempts to get Wazzup to stop, but the big man just grins as he cuts off Corbin’s air supply.
DeShawn: I don’t know how much more Corbin can take! Someone run the numbers!
Rudy Mac: Endurance and character aren’t quantifiable, DeShawn!
With a last gasp of air and effort, Corbin finally pushes Wazzup up and off him. He rolls away and tags in Golden Ben Miller, which produces a LOUD pop from the crowd.
Rudy Mac: GBM is back in the mix!
Shotcaller: He gonna be OUT of the mix after Blood And Bling, yo!
Golden Ben Miller begins to lay on a powerful attack against Wazzup. After beating down on Wazzup sufficiently, GBM delivers a CLASSIC scoop slam mid-ring.
Rudy Mac: That’s an iconic setup if I’ve ever seen one because we know what’s coming next!
GBM pulls off a kneepad and tosses it out into the crowd and then runs toward the ropes.
Shotcaller: How ya’ll don’t see how lame dis iz, I dunno.
Rudy Mac: It’s the most illustrious move in sport entertainment!
DeShawn: Let us like what we like!
Golden Ben Miller pops off the far ropes and returns to the middle of the ring where he jumps and DROPS his knee right on Wazzup’s forehead.
THE GOLDEN KNEE!!!
GBM starts to go for the cover but instead gets up and tags in Corbin.
Rudy Mac: Looks like the Golden Warhorse is only here to help! He wants CORBIN to get the glory for himself!
Corbin looks down at the laid out Wazzup and gets an amused face. He picks up the groggy bigger Bloods gang member and whips him toward the corner that Choo Choo is standing.
DeShawn: What’s Corbin doing!?
Rudy Mac: Making sure he dishes out enough punishment for what Da Bloodz did to him at Gold Strike 27!
Choo Choo slaps Wazzup’s shoulder and quickly pops to the top rope as Wazzup collapses. Corbin beckons Choo Choo to jump at him, which he does but Corbin ducks away to let Choo Choo CRASH into the mat.
Shotcaller: Sumtimes u miss, but all itz gud as long az you keep shootin’.
The smaller member of Da Bloodz gets up and begins to circle with Corbin. Corbin engages Choo Choo and the two begin a surprisingly technical affair.
Rudy Mac: Gah I love wrestling!
After trading advantages multiple times, Choo Choo SLAMS Corbin’s head into the mat with a Russian leg sweep.
DeShawn: It’s always the Russians!
Choo Choo wearily climbs to the top rope and looks out at the ring where Corbin Fiscal remains laid out. He leaps forward and sails through the air to deliver an inverted phoenix splash.
THE HIT UP-NO!!!
At the last moment, Corbin Fiscal pops to his feet and catches Choo Choo in a reverse brainbuster position before falling backward.
THE CASH OUT!!!
1… 2… … … NO!!!
Rudy Mac: This thing is still going!
Shotcaller: Da Bloodz ALWAYS kick out, ya heard me?
Corbin Fiscal picks Choo Choo back up to his feet where he wobbles in the middle of the ring. The GPW bookkeeper then runs toward the ropes, springboards backward to mid-ring and grabs hold of Choo Choo’s neck before spinning and CRACKING the Bloods gang member’s head into the mat.
Rudy Mac: That might be the most EXPLOSIVE tornado DDT we’ve ever seen in GPW!
Shotcaller: Ain’t enuff tho.
Still unsatisfied, Corbin Fiscal helps Choo Choo up from the mat, lifts him straight vertical and SHAKES the ring with another reverse brainbuster.
THE CASH OUT!!!
1… 2… … … 3!!!
Rudy Mac: Corbin’s gotta be feeling pretty good right now!
DeShawn: He earned it! And someone tell him I said that since he handles the paychecks!
As the fans POP HUGE, Golden Ben Miller enters the ring and lifts Corbin’s arm up victoriously. GBM motions with his other hand toward Corbin as if gesturing over all the credit.
Choo Choo is completely laid out unconscious while Wazzup stirs in the corner.
Shotcaller: Ain’t dat some shit!
Winners:
Corbin Fiscal and Golden Ben Miller via The Cash Out
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Shotcaller tosses down his headset while GBM and Corbin Fiscal high five in the middle of the ring. The two members of the Golden Pros catch sight of Shotcaller and immediately go into defensive positions.
Rudy Mac: Hoo boy, something might be brewing here!
Shotcaller walks up the stairs and climbs into the ring without delay. Golden Ben Miller and Corbin watch as he pulls Wazzup to his feet and then picks up Choo Choo. Da Bloodz collect themselves and ready up.
DeShawn: I’d be biting my fingernails if I still had some! It’s been a long season!
The trio of 85 Piru rush GBM and Corbin and begin to lay on the assault. The two members of the Golden Pros appear unable to fight off the swarming attack. Shotcaller pins Corbin down in the corner and lays in several stomps while Da Bloodz pound on GBM.
Rudy Mac: It looks like Shotcaller and Da Bloodz don’t take losing lightly!
Wazzup delivers a facebuster to GBM, which sprawls him out mid-ring. At the same time, Choo Choo climbs up and flies off the top rope to deliver a moonsault kneedrop to the head.
THE BLEED OUT!!!
Shotcaller pulls Corbin Fiscal out to mid-ring and DROPS him with a jumping neckbreaker.
THE DRIVE-BY!!!
Rudy Mac: This isn’t looking good for GPW’s finest!
Suddenly, the entire arena GOES BEZERK when another hero comes flying down the entrance ramp.
Rudy Mac: FLIP COSTA! FLIP COSTA!
The Pensacola Pretty Boy dives under the ropes and begins to lay out each of the members with back-to-back-to-back dropkicks.
DeShawn: And YOU get a dropkick, and YOU get a dropkick, and YOU get a dropkick!
Rudy Mac: I love a good Oprah callback!
Once all of 85 Piru are laid out, Flip Costa climbs to the top rope and jumps forward through the air to deliver a senton elbow drop to Shotcaller.
THE FLIP-OFF!!!
Rudy Mac: Flip Costa has RETURNED THE FAVOR for everything the Golden Pros did to save him at Starfall!
Flip Costa attempts to help GBM up, but a commotion occurs within the first few rows of fans.
BOO!!!
Violence pushes people out of the way as he mobs through the seating and climbs over the barricade.
DeShawn: Violence looks PISSED!
Unfortunately, Flip Costa doesn’t see Violence coming and the Asshole From Alberta is able to sneak into the ring. While GBM is being helped up by Flip, he sees Violence approaching, but he’s not able to warn the Pensacola Pretty Boy in time.
The former Pure Gold Champion lifts a surprised Flip Costa onto his shoulders, and Gold Strike 30’s home viewers are only able to see a pixelated transmission of Violence’s legendary finisher.
THE BLUR OUT!!!
Rudy Mac: I wince EVERY TIME he does it!
Once the transmission comes back into clarity, the fans BLAST OFF LIKE A SPACE ROCKET as another GPW hero emerges from backstage.
Rudy Mac: FUSEEEE MAKOOTTTOOOO!!!
DeShawn: PREESSEEENNNTTEEEDDD BY NISSSAAANNNN!!!
The young Japanese ace comes sprinting down the ramp and slides deftly into the ring. Violence can barely react before Fuse delivers a spinning tornado kick to Violence.
NIKUYA STRIKE PRESENTED BY NISSAN!!!
Violence attempts to sit up, but Fuse delivers a powerful face kick that sends the Asshole From Alberta straight onto his back.
Rudy Mac: It’s absolutely CARNAGE out there!
The fans gasp as a blue emanation begins to appear behind Fuse in the middle of the ring. The Draconian silently materializes behind the young Japanese wrestler.
BOO!!!
As if sensing the Draconian behind him, Fuse quickly jumps and spins to deliver a surprise tornado kick.
NIKUYA STRIKE PRESENTED BY NISSAN-NOOOO!!!
The Draconian blocks Fuse Makoto’s kick to the surprise of the crowd.
Rudy Mac: This could spell trouble!
Fuse Makoto is kneed in the stomach and then lifted into a gutwrench powerbomb the rattles the ring.
ABDUCTION!!!
DeShawn: I would NOT like to be in there right now!
The Draconian stands over the mess of wrestlers in silence. One by one, each of the wrestlers get to their feet and take stock of the situation they’re in.
Rudy Mac: This doesn’t feel over!
Indeed, every wrestler engages with their immediate enemies. Violence and Flip Costa begin to play a game of cat and athletic mouse, the Draconian hunts the elusive Flip Costa, and GBM and Shotcaller trade punches back and forth. Da Bloodz walk around and attempt to clip off anyone they can find.
Rudy Mac: Anarchy! What anarchy!
Gold Strike 30’s attendees continue to cheer wildly at the chaos continues.
Rudy Mac: DeShawn, that wraps up Gold Strike for Season 6!
Inside the ring, the Draconian delivers a backbreaker to Fuse Makoto, Flip Costa nails a tornado DDT on Violence, and Shotcaller captures GBM in a sleeper hold.
DeShawn: I like my penultimate episodes like I like my women, wild till it’s over!
The fans are a hot mess as the chaos continues. Fuse Makoto stuns the Draconian with a spinning backfist, Violence clobbers Flip Costa with a vicious brass-knuckled punch, and Golden Ben Miller scoop slams Shotcaller.
Rudy Mac: We’ll see you all next time for the Season 6 finale, BLOOD AND BLING! Good night!
All of the wrestlers continue battle as the show fades to black…