“Hey guys! It’s me! How’s my ‘Awoken’ today?!” the blue-haired oaf named Awoke exclaimed into his camera phone. “For me? It’s just another day HELPING THE OPPRESSED!”

The camera shot of Awoke’s face switched to a pan of his luxury apartment, which showed the Golden Gate Bridge out through the window. Awoke began to speak directly into the phone again.

“You know, if you had asked me how I felt about the end of Season Six, I might have said ‘hey! I don’t want to be forced into a gay marriage! But that was just the bigotry and prejudice in me, and now it’s GONE!”

The social media video continued as Awoke took a tour of his apartment ending with a kitchen where an elderly Hispanic woman cooked. She looked exhausted and stressed.

Hundreds of heart emojis began to bubble up from the bottom of his live feed.

“That’s my suegra, which means ‘mother-in-law’ in Mexican!” Awoke ignorantly stated. “Say hi to the Awoken, Isabella!”

The elderly woman looked as if she was about to faint but Awoke simply continued his home tour and walked into a bathroom where two young Hispanic girls were vigorously cleaning. Each had rubber gloves and a sponge and looked completely beleaguered.

The bathroom itself was gloriously splendid with high-quality countertops and bathroom fixtures, and everywhere there was a shining spotless.

“These are my hijastras! That’s right, I’m a Dad now! Love you, Julia and Sofia!”

More heart emojis floated up the camera screen. Awoke acted as if he was touched by his follower’s response and then continued through the apartment.

In his bedroom, a Hispanic woman carefully wiped the glass on a frame hanging from the wall. Awoke came up behind her and inspected it.

“Everyone, that’s just my cunada, Maria! Maria, make sure you get that perfectly clean! Everyone wants to see my Stanford degree!”

Awoke zoomed in on the college diploma which awarded him a bachelor’s degree in gender studies.

The blue-haired oaf’s livestream continued, and he made his way to a laundry room where Ejercito de Juan sat inspecting the back of a washing machine.

“Any luck, mi esposo? That stupid washer shrunk all of my Euro briefs! You know I get mad when I don’t have a comfortable banana hammock to wear!”

“¡Estás demasiado gordo para tus contrabandistas de periquitos!” Juan replied.

“I. Don’t. Know. What. You’re. Saying!” Awoke slowly shot back before looking back at his phone and smiling.

“Anyways! It’s a great time to be me, and a great time to be an Awoken! Thanks for tuning in this season, can’t wait to see you soon, byyyeeee!”